hash
verse
courtesy
of/ honor to
Hajj
Chicken Little Dick
SH3
Choirmaster Emeritus
"I want to present our new webpage with an updated list of songs that are currently sung, or should be. Notice I changed Ciega's Down Down tune (she's not a teacher and she never fucked anybody after class, so far as we know. So if you don't like my lyrics, write some of your own that are more appropriate. Or sing it the old way, I don't give a shit). The new Dogleg and new CrackerJack song are also on this list". -CLD
Brother
(Sister) Hashers
Here's
to brother hasher(s),
Brother
hasher(s), brother hasher(s),
Here's
to brother hasher(s),
May
he (they) chug-a-lug.
He's
(Their) happy, he's (their) jolly,
He's
(Their) fucked up by golly,
Here's
to brother hasher(s),
May
he (they) chug-a-lug.
He
(She)Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On.
He
(She) ought to be publicly pissed on.
He
(She) ought to be publicly shot.
He
(She) ought to be tied to a shit house,
And
left there to fester and rot, rot, rot.
He
(She) may be a joy to his mother, but he’s a pain in the
asshole to me.
Thank
God He/She Finally Shut Up
Thank
God he finally shut up, that sorry son of a bitch.
Drink your beer, get
out of here, you make my asshole itch.
Thank
God she finally shut up. We’re tired of all her bitchin’.
Drink your beer, get
out of here, get your ass back in the kitchen.
Okinawa
Down Down Song
He's
the meanest,
He
sucks the horse's penis,
He's
the meanest,
He's
a horse's ass.
Ever
since he found it,
All
he does is pound it.
He's
the meanest,
He's
a horse's ass.
Drinking
down, down, down, down,
Down,
down, down, down,
Down,
down, down, down,
Down,
down, down, down.
(Variations for individual hashers)
Elvis
and Farticus:
He’s
a Russian.
Drinks
the Commie vodka.
In
the Gulag
He
took it up the ass.
Slimey
and Pinnocular (Compliments of Agana Hash):
He’s
the oldest.
Every
day’s a bonus.
He’s
the oldest.
He
fucks them after class.
Ciega:
She’s the
oldest.
Every
day’s a bonus.
Pay
your money ,
Or
she’ll ream you a new ass.
Dirty
Yellow Balls:
He’s
from Fiji.
Like
Apu, says “Squishy”.
Children
wish he wouldn’t
Fuck
them up the ass.
RA
Down Down Song
Here’s
to Dogleg, Our RA.
He’s
an asshole so they say.
Screams
like a girl and is full of shit.
Traded
his wedding ring to see a tit.
Maxcheesmo
Down Down Song (To the tune of “Tequila”):
He comes from a land
called Chile,
Of
Andean Mountain fame;
He
likes pullin' on his willie,
And
Maxcheesmo is his name.
(Vocalized
instrumental break):
Na-na-na
naaaaaa na!
Na-na-na
naaaaaa na!
Na-na-na
naaaaaa na!
Na
na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na!
MAXCHEESMO!
Bust
Her Brown Eye(To the tune of "Brown Eyed Girl"):
Hey where did he go,
when pregnancy came?
Straight
up her asshole playing a new game.
Snackin’
and a packin’, Hey, Hey.
Nudgin’
that fudge in,
He
looked like an old bulldog,
Gruntin’
while tryin’ to bust her… Brown Eyed Hole.
Bust Her-er Brown Eyed
Hole.
Do
you you remember whennnnnnnnnnnnn, she used to say,
OO
OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO
Cracker
Jack Down Down Song
Bouncin’
through the boonies at a steady pace,
Clearing
out a path for CrackerJack.
She
can’t run too much faster or they’ll smash her face,
Swing around her arms
and tap her on the back.
Oh
blah dee, oh blah dah, What a huge bra,
How
the fuck does it stay on?
The
Little Chicken Dick Down-Down Song (to the tune of "Super
Chicken"),
contributed
by Happy Pockets:
When
you think that you're perverted
And
you fear your mind's reverted
To
a really infantile condition;
Don't
forget that leering dope,
(And
next to him, you're like the Pope!)
He's
ca-a-alled the Little Chicken
DICK-DICK-DICK-DICK!
Ca-a-all for Little
Chicken
DICK-DICK-DICK-DICK!!
-------
(Dogleg sez: I've
always been in favor of using the Talking Heads' "Psycho
Killer', but
change
it to "Psycho Chicken", with chicken sounds instead of
David Byrne's noises):
"I
can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm
crazed and freaky and I have no class
I
can't sing and my words are foul
If
you asked me, I would fuck an owl
(ch.)
Psycho Chicken
Qu'est-ce
que c'est?
Bock
bock bock bock bock bock bock bock bock bock
Better
run run run run, run run run away!"
New MHP Down-down song, April 2006:
After running the wrong way on Waserak Road last week, following MHP’s preset flour, the following came to me:
(To the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not shout
I’m tellin’ you why
Happy Pockets ‘settin’ false trail
He’s dropping three dots
All over the ground
To make sure hashers run all around
Happy Pockets ‘settin’ false trail.
He runs before Religion
He runs before Indicts
He runs before the down-downs done
To be home on Saturday Night
-- First verse again if he’s still drinking --
-Droolbag
(Cheshire
Pussy's Down-Down Song)
Sung
to the tune of "He's So Fine" (with apologies to the
Chiffons):
(Poon-tang
poon-tang poon-tang
Poon-tang
poon-tang)
She's
a hare
(poon-tang
poon-tang poon-tang)
She's
blonde down there
(poon-tang
poon-tang poon-tang)
Smiling
in her tree
(poon-tang
poon-tang poon-tang)
Squirting
you and me
(poon-tang
poon-tang poon-tang)
But
when you're on her trail
(poon-tang
poon-tang poon-tang)
You
know you're gonna wail
(poon-tang
poon-tang)
-Mr. Happy Pockets
======
MHP: That ode to CP
was the "suckiest" you have ever written.You can do better.
You do get the "Lame Lyrics" award for 2004,and perhaps a
new hash name.
>
Oly.
Dear
Oly:
How
the hell are you? You don't call, you don't write! I understand how
CP might inspire words of a more poetic nature from you, alone, lying
awake all night in the cabin of your little boat, thousands of miles
away from her. Why don't you write an alternative "Ode to CP,"
with appropriately romantic words and themes? You know, the sort of
song teenage Filipinas might like to sing karaoke to. Maybe something
like this:
Oly's Ode to CP
Here
I am
Lying
awake and all alone
Tossing
and turning and
Worrying
my bone
Thinking
of my pussy
So
very far away
Wish
she was here with me
So
I could say
How
much I miss you, darlin
Please
come back to me
I
see you smiling everywhere
Sitting
in your tree
When
your captain dreams
He
dream of his first mate
So
hurry on back, darlin'
Please
don't make me wait.
>MHP
Hashstones
Hashers, meet the
Hashers,
They're
the biggest drunks in history.
From
the Isle of Saipan,
They're
the leaders in debauchery.
Half
minds, trailing shiggy through the years.
Watch
them, as they down a lot of beers.
Down
down, down down down down,
Down,
down down down down down down, down, down.
Down
down, down down down down,
Down,
down down down down down down, down, down!
HASH!
(Sung to the tune of "Shaft," with apologies to
Isaac Hayes;
compliments
of Mr. Happy Pockets)
Who's
dat bunch `o drunks
Dat
run around in tees and trunks?
(HASH!)
Daaaamn right!
Who's
dem pimps and ho's
Dat
through the boonies stompin' goes?
(HASH!)
Can you dig it?
Who're
the cats who won't cop out
When
the Lepto spores hatch out?
(HASH!)
Right On!
They're
as freaky as they cum
And
the hounds be really dumb
(HASH!)
Saipan Hash!
You
see these Hashers is baaaad mother—
(Shut
your mouth!)
Just
talkin' `bout the Hash, baby!
(Then
we can dig it!)
To
a hasher, cuttin' trail
Is
the search for Holy Grail
(HASH!)
Where's my sammich,
bitch?!
Me
no likey Blitish Sailor
A
brave young soldier lad called geordie
Is
the hero of my song
He
crossed the sea to serve his country
Went
to serve out in hong kong
His
wife he’d left behind in gateshead
And
soon his heart began to long
For
the company of a female
Though
he knew that this was wrong
He
crossed the harbour on a ferry
Took
a rickshaw to wan chai
And
in a dimly lighted bar there
A
slant eyed maiden did appear
Coca
cola for this maiden at 200 he did buy
But
when he asked her for favours
He
was greeted with this cry
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Me
no like you men of war
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Yankee
pay 5 dollars more
Yankee
call me honey baby
Blitish
call me flucking whore (flucking whore)
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Yankee
pay 5 dollars more
Yankee
tap upon my window
Blitish
break the flucking door (flucking door)
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Yankee
pay 5 dollars more
Yankee
bling me sweet led roses
Blitish
bling me sleet fluck all (sweet fluck all)
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Yankee
pay 5 dollars more
Yankee
fuck me on the sofa
Blitish
fuck me on the floor (on the floor)
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Yankee
pay 5 dollars more
Yankee
leaving on next friday
Blitish
stay for evermore.
Me
no like you Blitish sailor
Yankee
pay 5 dollars more