15 hounds showed up at the BOG to run what had been a much-touted run.  The long missing Red Sasquatch brought the Mamalian Swollen Red Squirrel during Religion the Tyrant said there would be no crying if they brought the baby.  There were no FNG’s on this particular run, and when the box was announced, we all headed north to Tanapag.  We were able to get inside the compound before the gates were locked and the workers were nice enough to let us stay under the roof.  The whiners and complainers, whose shit doesn’t stink, complained about the smell.  PUSSIES!!

Anyway, after 8 minutes of the 10-minute head start, the Manamko broke the box and took off on the main road.  2 minutes later, the rest of the pack headed down the side of the hill and met the old ladies on trail.  The obvious course was out to the main road, across Wallace Highway, and into the Santos Family Compound and KANAT TADUNG MAHETOG. This is an area we have not been in lately and it is still quite beautiful.  Where we entered the creek bed, it was very slippery, but there was no standing water.  However, as we slipped and slid our way up the creek, we started to come on little pools of water, with all manner of bacteria in it.  As we got higher up the ravine, we actually saw fresh water shrimp (or crawfish) skittering away from the mobs of unwelcome visitors.  Jordass even spotted a monitor lizard slithering up the side of the creek and waiting for everyone to pass.  She was kind enough to point this out to the Tyrant, who has not seen a monitor lizard in quite some time.

We followed this creek up, past several bamboo groves and at least two active waterfalls.  Fresh, cool water, with only a hint of pig shit.

Eventually we popped out on the farm of Juan I. Tenorio, in AS AKINA  which was connected to Wireless Road by a long dirt driveway.  We came out on Wireless, just south of the Capitol Hill Cemetary, and Jordass, Beerhead, and Kramden paid their respects to the Tyrant’s sainted Mother-in-Law who lies there in peace.

The fear began to set in when we passed the Stearns property and only found Split Hare and the maid walking the dogs.  So we continued on the Wireless Road to Mt. Su Su and ran across the water/champagne stop.  Now the fear really set in, since it was now about 5:45 p.m. and we assumed that this was the halfway point.  We did not go east so we knew we were not going to Paradise Valley, but we did not go straight west either, so we knew we were not going into the pig farm and down to San Roque.  True trail went southwest and into some lush jungle, and bamboo groves.  And for those of you who have been out here a while, you know that bamboo means WATER!  Back into another creek (BOBO ACHUGAOI) we go, and now we are going down hill (which in my opinion I would rather be UP the creek than DOWN the creek).

Anyway, after much more slipping and sliding, we came out of the ravine near the Big Blue on the hillside above the AA Mobil Station in Tanapag.

Then it was a straight run to the original On Home (the clearing on the beach near Aqua Resort) only the grass cutters forgot to unlock the gate.  So an arrow took us down to the beach and then a short hop to Bob Powers house. Red Squirrel showed up with the baby, who was crying, and the Tyrant said, feed the baby.  Then he said, one baby drinks, all babies drink (WAH, WAH, WAH) and he was joined by a chorus of grown up men babies.

A vehicle run was done (since there were some hounds out after dark) and then the fire was started.  It being a full moon run, Kramden stepped aside for Dog Leg and W.E.B., the FM mismanagement and just enjoyed heckling all night.  Religion was piped to order and the hares were called forward.  There were a lot of courtesies done to the run, because although it was long, it certainly was entertaining and exciting.

There was some more jokes and courtesies, cupcakes for Kowpaddy’s birthday were brought out, and then the area was policed.  Swing Low was sung, and the assembled headed south.  The Tyrant stopped and several places, and then went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  OZZY STILLBORN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
971          6/28/03    WEST END BENDER
972          7/5/03      DOG LEG
973          7/12/03    RED SASQUATCH
974          7/19/03    HAJ F. KRAMDEN, SIR AND MR.
                                HAPPY POCKETS (KRAMDENS
                                50th BIRTHDAY)
975          7/26/03    MARLBORO MAN
976          8/2/03      LADRONE
977          8/9/03      CRACKER JACK
978          8/16/03    OPEN
979          8/23/03    M&M MAN
980          8/30/03    KOWPADDY
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

WOW! What a wowee.  Amazing trail.  What is even more amazing is that no one got lost or injured on the slicker than cat shit trail we were on this past week.  Is there anyone out there who could honestly say, that if asked if they could slog through jungles and slippery riverbeds and waterfalls, for 2 ½ hours, would sure, why not?  NOT.  But make it part of a trail, and no one will complain.  The hash really helps us to understand our limitations or lack thereof.  And honor to the hares for the water stop.  It really was a blessing.

I have gotten an RSVP from Sin Huevos for the 1000th run, and have sent invitations to Pussy, Pussy’s Whip, Richard Cranium, Flapping Lips, Tiny Tim, Pit Bull (who is with child) and Tongue on Tit (who just had a baby boy).  Everyone would like to come, but only Sin Huevos had answered in the affirmative.  I also found out that Bush Fire will be here in August and IT is in Guam working .

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
THE 10TH ANNUAL TOM PICARRO MEMORIAL FUN RUN, THE SILVER STREAK, WILL BE HELD ON JUNE 21, 2003, AT 6:OO AM.  THERE WILL BE A $5.00 ENTRY FEE WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO CRIMESTOPPERS.  CONTACT THE TYRANT FOR MORE INFORMATION.
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

15 hounds showed up for the first run set by Acute Angina and Hajji Peewee in a LOOOOONG time.

And it was well worth the wait. The box was announced as the water tank at the top of Navy Hill.  Once everyone figured out where it was, and drove up there, they were very careful not to drive into the huge hole in the ground where the master valve is located.  While waiting for several people who were at a party, we chatted and waited, and waited.  Finally, Jordass and Beerhead showed up and we got in the box behind the tank. FNG’s Laura and Neal listened intently as the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to them.  After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off.  The whole crowd went immediately out to the main road and then headed down the Navy Hill road.  After about 3 minutes, they figured out this was not the way to go.  Kramden and Beerhead then headed on over to Chalan Galaide and found a checking.  The pack went up east, the Tyrant up south.  Kramden found an On Back, the rest of the pack found nothing.  So we re-grouped at the Navy Hill gulley/storm drain and found on on’s.  The pack dived into the ravine and followed flour all the way down over some really slick rocks.  We passed the wreckage of the old Navy Hill Power Plant and after about 100 yards, found a checking which took us up to the left and into a tributary of this little rivulet. This was slick, muddy, and almost straight up. After passing through one of the first of many bamboo groves, the trail came out on Dave and Darlene Castro’s front yard.  The trail then went out their driveway and to the top of the hill where Kramden found the On Back at the first Checking.  At this point the trail went back into the jungle and headed south again.  Into more fern covered jungle and some more bamboo groves, and the next thing you know we are in the Chinatown Gulley.  This was obvious because of the huge moss covered cables that run down the middle of this beautiful streambed.  The trail continued down this creek bed and eventually to the bomb shelter caves, which had been carved into the side of the ravine. The hares had left lit candles inside so the more adventurous of the hounds went inside and looked around.

The trail then continued down the huge wash and then out to the street at the back of the Sugar King area of Chinatown.  But a checking took the pack immediately into a ranch where the owner was directing us to the back of the house and through his pigpens.  Back into some moderate jungle, and then out on a Cul de Sac.  This street took us out past former Hasher Goro’s house and then out to the Chinatown road.  Only an on on and the pack went right and up to Morge’s Chinatown Bluff and the beautiful view of Garapan.

The two FNG’s and W.E.B. did not take the checking at the farm and ended up at the BOG.  They peeked in the bag and then took a taxi up to the On Home.  Maxcheesemo found his way in and a vehicle run was done.  Oly got a good fire going near the edge of the cliff and Dog Leg got to be the weenie roast on this night.  The Tyrant piped up Religion and the hares were called forward.  Poor Hajji Peewee had to drink his beer, his brides beer, and he was called forward for an indictment later and the crowd roared “ONE HARE DRINKS, ALL HARE DRINKS”, and since Acute Angina is in the family way, he had to drink both beers.  Next the hares were called forward and even though we explained the options, the female would not S.U.Y.T.  Then the floor was open to courtesies and jokes, and there were many courtesies to the run.  Mainly because Hajji Peewee is the best of the best of the best when it comes to laying trail without looking at a map, or even scouting out the trail.  It all comes from a fabulous sense of direction and having memorized the Saipan topo map.

More courtesies were done and we almost got everyone (except Heavy Flow and Wong Wei) to get up and do a down down.  There were some comments about how quiet it was without Ciega, but I know that everyone missed here. By special request, Fuck a Duck was sung and then the area was policed.  Swing Low was sung and then everyone decided where they wanted to go for dinner, and Hamilton’s won again.

The Tyrant of course went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  OZZY STILLBORN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
970          6/21/03    CHISHIRE PUSSY
971          6/28/03    WEST END BENDER
972          7/5/03      DOG LEG
973          7/12/03    RED SASQUATCH
974          7/19/03    HAJ F. KRAMDEN, SIR AND MR.
                                HAPPY POCKETS (KRAMDENS
                                BIRTHDAY)
975          7/26/03    MARLBORO MAN
976          8/2/03      LADRONE
977          8/9/03      CRACKER JACK
978          8/16/03    OPEN
979          8/23/03    M&M MAN
980          8/30/03    KOWPADDY
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

You do not have to set trail like Hajji Peewee.  No one expects ANYONE to do THAT!. But Dog Leg has come up with a receding hare line that everyone is asked to follow.  How hard can it be?  Use your imagination.  I am sure that every one of you, at one time or another while on trail has said, “Hmmm, that looks like a nice trail!” as you passed some little boonie trail off of the one you were on.  Well go back and find it.  All you need is a trail. Then you find a way to start and a way to finish since you already have the in between.  Or you can find a box, and an On Home, and then just find the in between.  Or you can find an on home, and then just figure out how to get there.  It really is that simple.

APOLOGIES TO FART SNIFFER WHO WAS NAMED LAST WEEK FOR (UNFORTUNATELY) HAVING HIS FACE TOO CLOSE TO MR. HAPPY POCKET’S ASS WHEN MHP DECIDED TO BREAK WIND IN THE VEHICLE RUN.

DON’T’ FORGET THE SILVER STREAK NEXT WEEK, 6/21 6:00 A.M.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
THE 10TH ANNUAL TOM PICARRO MEMORIAL FUN RUN, THE SILVER STREAK, WILL BE HELD ON JUNE 21, 2003, AT 6:OO AM.  THERE WILL BE A $5.00 ENTRY FEE WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO CRIMESTOPPERS.  CONTACT THE TYRANT FOR MORE INFORMATION.
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

28 hounds showed up for the Manamko run.  There were many long missing hashers like Hajji Peewee, and Minnie Pearl.  We also saw the return of Yogi and the people who made him come, PLF and Buster Brown.  There were also 4 FNG’s including Roxanne, and 2 other people that Peewee made come.  Acute Angina and Wee Wee were also there. The box was announced as Dr. Daniel Lamar and Tonguecicle’s house on Toputchau, so that is where we headed.  Once everyone was in the box, the hare’s were off, and the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s.

After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off out to the driveway and then out to the main road.  The beer truck was still in the driveway as was Jordass’s truck, but no one stopped to wait for the hares to come back.  The trail went out to the Old Japanese Road and then checked right down towards the Reyes Farm.  The trail continued down this road, past several farms until one check at a farm actually took the pack into the farm.

The trail went through a taro patch and then started the long, hard, climb, straight up the side of the mountain.  There were several places were there were some fantastic views of the lagoon.  There were several places where there were some fantastic views of the hounds behind us.  But I have got to tell you that the last half of this hash was almost completely vertical.  The trail continued to climb, and we needed all four limbs to navigate.  On top of this, quite a bit of the trail was sword-grass, cut down and hiding stumps and branches, and all kinds of rotting vegetation, which was quite dangerous to extremities like ankles and things. Near the top of the ridgeline there was one rope, which was really necessary to get up to the next level.  The trail came out on top of the mountain where the Catholic crosses are placed during the Good Friday and Easter Celebrations.  Then, it went along this razorback ridge, down to the parking lot, and down the main road to an arrow at the July 4th Ridge party place.

The Tyrant took the kid from Boston over to the old hang gliding launch ramp, to show him the view on the far side of the island.  Eventually, everyone made it to the on home and a vehicle run was done.  Oly, with the assistance of Firemistress by injection Cheshire Pussy, got a nice little toasty fire going.  There were some huge spiderwebs near the edge of the cliff and some people seemed to be tripping over them.  (In an drop acid and tripped kind of way). After everyone had pigged out on snacks, including the Tostitos with a (WHIFFF) hint of lime, and pistachios, the Tyrant piped up Religion. The hares were called forward and whined about how much work they had to do and how hard it is to do that kind of work when you are old (WAH WAH WAH!!).  Next the visiting hasher Black Widow (friend of Tender Twat) came up and was welcomed by all.  Next we called for the FNG’s, and Roxanne, the Boston Boy, and someone who Black Widow made come, all did their down downs respectfully. Then everything was going along normally until Hajji Peewee’s step mom spiked the DLMM.Next, courtesies were called for and Yogi started telling these horrible jokes.  The topic of jokes became Chinamen. And the more he drank, the worse they got.  So the Tyrant came to the rescue and came up with several classics.  Eventually the night wore out and the Tyrant called for policing the area. Swing Low was sung, and the assembled went to the Taste of the Marianas one last time before next year.  The Tyrant of course went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  OZZY STILLBORN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.   U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
969       6/14/03 KOW PADDY & MAXCHEESEMO/FULL MOON
970          6/21/03    CHISHIRE PUSSY
971          6/28/03    WEST END BENDER
972          7/5/03      DOG LEG
973          7/12/03    RED SASQUATCH
974          7/19/03    HAJ F. KRAMDEN, SIR AND MR.
                                HAPPY POCKETS (KRAMDENS
                                BIRTHDAY)
975          7/26/03    MARLBORO MAN
976          8/2/03      LADRONE
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

I know that a lot of hard work went into setting the hash last Saturday.  And I know that I did a lot of work just finishing the hash last Saturday.  Excellent trail.  Well marked. Great On Home.  Great Religion. What a blessing to be living on a paradise like this, where you can build a fire anywhere you want, and drink whatever you want, wherever you want.  And to be surrounded by so many cool people is just too much to ask for.  Hashing is such a great way of life.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
THE 10TH ANNUAL TOM PICARRO MEMORIAL FUN RUN, THE SILVER STREAK, WILL BE HELD ON JUNE 21, 2003, AT 6:OO AM.  THERE WILL BE A $5.00 ENTRY FEE WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO CRIMESTOPPERS.  CONTACT THE TYRANT FOR MORE INFORMATION.
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

CAN YOU FIND THE SPOT WHERE WE CAME UP THE SIDE OF THE HILL??

14 hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam, expecting to run from the BPG parking lot to Mt. Toputchau.  Included in this rabble, was the recently returned Piss Break, and the soon to be gone Balls of Steel.  They were presently surprised however, when Kramden announced the box as the Capitol Hill Post Office.  Of course everyone then said, “Are we doing the XTERRA bike trail again?”  Ciega graciously volunteered to drive the beer truck and off we went. The assembled headed up there and the Tyrant made a box behind one of the Rev and Tax buildings.  Special instructions were to follow flour and nothing else.  There was one FNG who came with Marlboro Man and Balls of Steel.  I assume that Dog Leg ‘splained the instructions to him since I left.  Beerhead cheated and waited out in front of the building and watched the hare drive off in the beer truck. True trail went to the 3 way intersection and then up the middle to the Bankers Road.  Some checking’s here probably did not slow anyone down and the trail continued out towards Miller’s Estates.

A checking here did not fool anyone either.  The checking at Wireless Road did not divert the hounds either.  Then it was a straight run out to the XTERRA bike trail.  It has only been a month since the fabled race, and it was unbelievable how overgrown the trail has become.  Early on in the run, the Tyrant snagged his foot on a branch and almost (only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades) did a face plant into the slick rocks.  But he kept his balance and continued on down the trail.  And although he thought about taking the pack into the gulley’s on either side of the road, he knew he did not have time. So down the road he went.  At the Camacho Blue House, he laid one last checking and THIS one got Dog Leg, who ran about 200 yards up the road before figuring out he had been fooled by the Tyrant. The FRB’s came in just about 10 minutes behind the Tyrant.  Some Sailors from the U.S.S. Ingram were on the beach taking pictures with some Chinese garment workers.   Once they all left, we began to carry the gear down to the beach.  Most hounds made it in well before dark, and the huge wave action, got many people into the pool.

In the absence of Oly, fire-master by injection Cheshire Pussy got a roaring toasty fire started.  The Tyrant piped up Religion and did his hare down down.  Next the FNG SHERMAN did his down down and did not embarrass himself. But he was smoking when he came up. There were many tales from the trail and soon Piss Break got up to do his backslider and give a long and lengthy Trip Report. He saw Floorshow, Bob Sagget-Bob Sagget, Miss Daisy, Suzuki Moon, and Sin Huevos in Colorado.  He got to see Sheep Thrills and One Penis Full in Chicago.  He also got to see Triple A in New York.

Next Balls of Steel did her shoe down down and many there were who got up and did her great honor by drinking out of her shoe.   Claymore did his last run down down but threatened to return for the 1000th. The area was policed, Swing Low was sung, and everyone waffled between the Taste of the Marianas and Hamilton’s.  The Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD THE YEAR & 2003 & 2004
THE NEXT POSSIBLE WORLD INTERHASH IN CARDIFF WALES. (WITH PRELIMINARY RUNS IN UK, CZECH REPUBLIC, FRANCE, ETC).
http://www.hasher.net/ih2004.htm

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  OZZY STILLBORN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
968       6/7/03   ACUTE ANGINA
969       6/14/03 KOW PADDY & MAXCHEESEMO/FULL MOON
970          6/21/03    CHISHIRE PUSSY
971          6/28/03    WEST END BENDER
972          7/5/03      DOG LEG
973          7/12/03    RED SASQUATCH
974          7/19/03    HAJ F. KRAMDEN, SIR AND MR.
                                HAPPY POCKETS (KRAMDENS
                                BIRTHDAY)
975          7/26/03    MARLBORO MAN
976          8/2/03      LADRONE
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

We are still planning for the 1000th and assigned some committees.  We really need for everyone to get the word out to all of their friends, those who have hashed in the past, and those for whom hashing would be fun.  We want to have a kind of hash reunion one of the days of the event that does not involve actually hashing, but would be to get together to reminisce.

The receding hare line is full and it seems to be working.  As you can see, being a hare is not that hard, and although this fabulous run this past week lacked imagination, it was still an adventure.  You can be a part of that adventure.

Once again we say good-bye to another hasher who has left their mark on the Saipan Hash House Harriers.  On her second hash, she volunteered to be a hare, and even dragged a virgin FNG hare to be her co-hare.  She even invented the Venezuelan method of doing down downs.  Amazing.  Adios Balls of Steel.

BE A HARE.
CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until October, 2003)

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
THE 10TH ANNUAL TOM PICARRO MEMORIAL FUN RUN, THE SILVER STREAK, WILL BE HELD ON JUNE 21, 2003, AT 6:OO AM.  THERE WILL BE A $5.00 ENTRY FEE WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO CRIMESTOPPERS.  CONTACT THE TYRANT FOR MORE INFORMATION.

TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME.  PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM. ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

8 hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam, and there were no hares.  However, Dogleg and MHP volunteered and then volunteered WEB when he came strolling in.  Included in this illustrious crowd was the long gone Haj, Claymore, who was here on a federally sponsored vacation. The box was announced as the cave near the land bridge, behind the Ordnance disposal building on the road to Banzai Cliff.  The only instructions were that there would be lots of ribbon on the trail and lots of flour.  The hares were off, and there being no FNG’s, the Tyrant told jokes to the 4 other hounds.

After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off the way they came, to a checking on the road in front of the disposal building.   A few locals and a haole were sitting inside the fence and the haole asked about the hash and the Tyrant ‘splained where and when he should be on Saturday afternoon if he wanted to join.  True trail went east towards Banzai and a false arrow took the pack down to the cliff’s edge on the west side of the cliff. The trail then went east again and on to the bike trail that has been hacked out by Marianas Trekking.  This trail continued past the dump and then down to the outskirts of Cowtown.  All of a sudden, off to the right, Larry Hillbloom’s cigarette boat loomed out of the jungle like a ghost of times past.  A time when you could watch movies outdoors with a mooing sound track.  It was also a time when you could watch a real live rodeo.  Ancient times. Anyway, just past the boat, the trail headed down towards the ocean.  We went through some thick cliff scrub and then down to the shelf that runs along the coast.  Up and over, over and down, through the thick plants that grow along this shelf.  Eventually we popped out on the road that is used by fishermen (including former Lt. Governor Jesus Sablan, whose car we found parked here).  A short distance and we came upon the hares at Cowtown Beach. MHP wandered off to check out a torpedo or submarine that he claimed to see in at the reef line.  The Styrofoam bowls for the salsa blew out of the car so we had to use the cap and that really sucked.  A vehicle run was done and as soon as they came back, a fire was started, and Religion was piped to order.   The hares were called forward and did their down downs explaining how they were going to do the full moon run over, but decided against it.  WEB, who is the RA for the Full Moon Hash asked Dog Leg to show him the finer points of can biting and he did. All hounds came up to do down downs since there were only a total of 8 people.  Quite quickly the vessel was retired, the area policed, and the assembled talked about gointg to the Taste of the Marianas.  The Tyrant went to the PIC to catch the tail end of the Tagaman Awards ceremony.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR & 2003 & 2004
THE NEXT POSSIBLE WORLD INTERHASH IN CARDIFF WALES. (WITH PRELIMINARY RUNS IN UK, CZECH REPUBLIC, FRANCE, ETC).
http://www.hasher.net/ih2004.htm

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  OZZY STILLBORN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
967          5/31/03    JORDAS
968          6/7/03      ACUTE ANGINA
969          6/14/03    KOW PADDY FULL MOON
970          6/21/03    CHISHIRE PUSSY
971          6/28/03    WEST END BENDER
972          7/5/03      DOG LEG
973          7/12/03    RED SASQUATCH
974          7/19/03    HAJ F. KRAMDEN, SIR AND MR.
                                HAPPY POCKETS (KRAMDENS
                                BIRTHDAY)
975          7/26/03    MARLBORO MAN
976          8/2/03      LADRONE
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

We have had our first meeting (for the 1000th) and assigned some committees.  We are going to be asking many of you to hit up your business friends and acquaintances for donations and contributions.  This is part of island life. These things don’t just happen.  Speaking of which, I would like to thank all the participants and volunteers in last weeks Tagaman Triathalon.  Just to give you an idea, we began to prepare for the Tagaman in October of 2002.  Lot’s of things have to happen, before the starting horn, for an event like that to operate so smoothly.  We want the 1000th running of the Saipan Hash House Harriers to be that smooth.  Check with Dog Leg if you are willing to help. On a happier note, we are all aunts and uncles.  Europina and Blank Czech welcomed Krystina to the Czech Republic and future hashing this past week.

BE A HARE.
CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until October, 2003)
HASH BULLETIN BOARD
THE 10TH ANNUAL TOM PICARRO MEMORIAL FUN RUN, THE SILVER STREAK, WILL BE HELD ON JUNE 21, 2003, AT 6:OO AM.  THERE WILL BE A $5.00 ENTRY FEE WITH THE PROCEEDS GOING TO CRIMESTOPPERS.  CONTACT THE TYRANT FOR MORE INFORMATION.

TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME.  PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

            17 hounds showed up at the BOG for the much anticipated Miharu run. Not so much for the run but for the possibility of seeing her tits at religion, as she had hinted earlier on the listbot.  Even Haj Dick Chair himself piped up on the listbot to make sure Kowpaddy would “Show us the Sheets!”  Most importantly, however, was the second request by Dick Chair, echoed by many others, for Miharu to “Show us her tits!” As it turned out, Miharu was working and the hares were actually Kowpaddy and Crackerjack. Also missing at the Bank were the Tyrant and RA, both who offered lame excuses for their absence.

The box was announced as the old munitions bunker near the airport tower and away we all went.

Mercifully there were no FNGs so we were all spared listening to Mr. Happy Pockets bumble his way thru the instructions. After the usual 10 minute start the hounds were off.

The crowd departed to somewhere on Saipan and ran some kind of run, of which I know nothing because I wasn’t there.  Apparently everyone finished in the dark, and it was kind of fucked up.  Some psycho chick named “Going Postal” did exactly that because she couldn’t find her way to the on-home in the dark.  Her poor husband took a real beating, according to what I read on the listbot, anyway.  The important thing is that she showed her Tits!  And quite an angry pair of tits they were.  I am trying to imagine what an angry pair of tits might look like:  Pinkish, slightly flushed?  Veins?  Definitely erect.  And very likely pointy.  Maybe even with angry little eyebrows drawn above each nipple.  But I am still having a hard time imagining “angry” tits.

The trail took us up the airport perimeter fence north to Dan Dan where we encountered our first checking. Everyone went right (except Oly who went left) and followed the trail east along the airport perimeter. The next checking continued straight. Oly of course checked right. The next checking took everyone left onto a small farm road. Oly true to form instead checked straight. After the FRBs ran about the farm in mindless circles for about twenty minutes the rest of the pack was able to catch up and join the circle dance. After 10 additional minutes it was decided that whilst this was all good fun, we should probably try to get back on trail. Oly who by this time had caught up from all his detours suggested true trail may be on the quarry road. Recognizing his uncanny sense of direction we immediately appointed him Leader and enthusiastically followed him, trampling down crops and farm animals along the way, over a barbed wire fence, where lo and behold miraculously we somehow reconnected with true trail. Oly, totally unfamiliar to being on true trail, started frothing at the mouth and lay on the road turning in a continuous circular motion like Curly from the 3 stooges. A few of us assisted him back up to his feet and although he wanted to initially run back the way we had just come, we were able to finally push him in the right direction. The trail wound past the quarry onto Naftan Point Road where all assumed this mediocre hash would mercifully end. It turned out, we were only about half way home. An arrow right, just before Naftan Point led us down into a fairly cool canyon that led us through some nice boonies, back out on the cliff line past some night fishermen and finally out to the country road that could take us to either Boy Scout Beach or  Obyan Beach. Since it was already dark most expected the On-home to be Boy Scout Beach. Hell no! True trail (for those dim enough to continue following it) took us back into the boonies, down the tube in total darkness, through half a mile of shark infested ocean in total darkness and along another mile of dark, rocky beach to finally collapse at the On-home at Obyan Beach in total darkness. Did I mention by this time it was totally dark?

After everyone finally arrived, it was discovered that our visiting female hasher Going Postal was still missing. Kowpaddy, who’d already finished half our beer supply by this time, insisted to her husband Shaggin Bunnies to forget her and move on with his life. After a brief word by Ciega however, he surprisingly had a change of heart, dropped his beer and immediately sprinted to his vehicle to look for her.
She was eventually found safe and sound, although a tad pissed with her husband for leaving her to die in the Saipan jungle.

Religion was called by sub-tyrant MHP with WEB standing in as RA. The highlights by far were the fine display of tits, courtesy of Miharu (who was later named Kinky Lay), Heavy Flow (who’s nipples… no we wont get into that) and Going Postal, who in the words of Buster Brown had the angriest set of tits he’d ever seen. Miharu  showed her tits.  This I am sorry I missed.  I also missed them when she showed them to CLD last year, but that was because it was a “private” showing.  And what a waste – showing them to a guy who sees hundreds of tits every night on the internet?  Surely CLD could not have appreciated them as I could have.  But back to Miharu’s tits:  it’s not like I haven’t tried to see them before.  Just ask Red Sasquatch.  Hey Red Sasquatch, how many times did we “drop” your keys on the ground in front of Miharu last week, just before Kowpaddy took her home because “there weren’t enough cool people on the run”?  Oh right – only once.  But that’s only because I didn’t suggest it to you earlier!  So it is left entirely up to my imagination what her tits looked like, there in the golden firelight of Obyan beach: full, round, gently jiggling, slightly erect … I better stop before I get in even deeper trouble with Phlegm Phatale!  Lets just put it this way:  had I been there, I would have dropped to one knee, held both my hands up, made little twisting motions with each, and said: “Calling Tokyo!  tschhh…..  Come in, Tokyo!”  And she for damn sure would have gotten a different Hash name than “Kinky Lay”...

The next tits shown belonged to Heavy Flow.  Yes, we have seen them before, but that takes nothing away from their almost alarming pertness (which is a good thing, in case you’re wondering).  On their own, they would have registered at least a “9.5” on the DLMM.  As it was, being the third pair shown, they were simply just the icing on the cake.  The KNOCKER cake, that is!   huh .. huh  uh huh uh uh

Anything else that may have happened on the run or the on home remains a mystery.  After Religion, the area was policed, Swing Low was sung and we all reluctantly returned to reality for another week.

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan    U.S. 10 Dollah! (NON NEGOTIABLE)

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM                          Haj, F. Kramden, Sir!!
RA:                                          Dog Leg
AAAARA:                               OPEN
FIRE MASTER                      Olie
HASH CASH                         Ciega
TRAIL MASTER                    Dog Leg
DLMM TECHNICIAN            Dog Leg
HASH SCRIBE                     w.e.b. & Dog Leg (compiled from conflicting reports)

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE.  IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE, AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW YOU THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.
CONTACT CIEGA TO SIGN UP.  IT IS A HASHER’S DUTY TO BE A HARE.   BE A HARE,
SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS

RECEDING HARE LINE...
FM85  5/15     OPEN (Thursday)
965      5/17     OPEN
966      5/24     Kramden & ?
967      5/31     Jordass & ?
968      6/7       Acute Angina & ?
969      6/14     Kowpaddy & Balls of Steel

22 hounds showed up at the Bank Of Guam to run with the Pussy!  Included in this gaggle of hashers were Guamaniacs Slug, Scary Screaming Bush, Lumber Jack Off, and Surfer FNG Eric.  There was also a tourist  FNG, Masako (Mako) Koga, who Ken Dewire made come with a little help from Miharu and the Tyrant. The box was announced as the car cut out just above First Blood’s house on Wireless road.  The assembled gathered on the peak and the hares gave special instructions.  “There is lots of ribbon, but if you do not see flour, you are not on trail.” They also told us there was a rope on trail.

Then they were off and the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s.  After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off north (because that is the way the hares went and there was no where else to go.  We followed the road around, past the Indiana Jones other property, and past the barking dogs, and past the checking which took us down two weeks ago.  We continued on past the last house on the right and out towards Mount Suu Suu.  The trail hooked east and ran around the base of the mountains.  When it reached the other side, (where you can go over to Paradise Valley or the Radar Station), it dropped down to the south.  We followed ribbon and flour along the top of a ridge and then started to climb up. The hares had not even tried to cut a path and we all ended up bent over at the waist for about 10 minutes, trying to make our way out of the tall grass and vines.  This is where Dog Leg banged his knee and began his whinging.  As we neared the top of this particular hill, we saw that we were standing on the edge of a pretty deep crevasse. The trail dropped down to the left of the crevasse and then all of a sudden we saw a HUGE crack off to our left.  The Tyrant dropped a rock inside and heard what sounded like a 30-foot fall. A little bit further up the trail we found the nylon (read that slippery) rope with knots every 6 feet (hard to grab).  The hares told us later, we were supposed to use it like a ladder.  Dog Leg was the first one down, and although he did not scream like a girl, he sure said “SHIT!” a lot.

Next Beer Head followed and then the Tyrant.  After that we were in a creek bed which wound downstream, shrimp and all, for about a mile.  Once again we were bent over crawling under branches and vines that the hares had failed to cut down.  Eventually, the creek leveled off, and we came out at Hidden Beach (Unai Hasgnot). Everyone made it in before dark and there were plenty of tales from the trail during the wait for the RRB’s.  Once a vehicle run was done and everyone was back, the Tyrant piped up Religion.  The hares were called forward and explained that they actually had cut a lot of the trail, just not the trail we were on. Pucker Boy got up next since he knew all along where the trail was going since he helped to set it the day before. Next the visiting hashers got up and SSB just had a baby (a year ago) so we all wanted to see her Tits.  Next her husband slug got up and announced that they have moved to Saipan permanently. Then Lumber Jack Off got up and did his courtesy.  Next the FNG’s came up and Eric and Mako said they really enjoyed the run.  Then the Tryant called for courtesies. There were 3 courtesies for West End Bender who left early (in fact 3 people were fighting over the rights to do the courtesy). Dog Leg continued to whine about his aching leg so the crowd gave him shit.

DOG LEG mooned the crowd because we were harassing about his whining over his injury and Ciega said, “oh look, it’s all swollen and it has a big crack in it”. This helped to lighten the dissension.  The Tyrant called for jokes and there were some and a few more courtesies. Laura did her last down down and the Tyrant gave her the hash admonition.  There was no shoe down downs since she had only been here three weeks.  The Tyrant then called for policing the area, Swing Low was sung, and the assembled headed to Hamilton’s.  The Tyrant of course went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  TURKEY AZZIZ
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
963          5/3/03      MIHARU
964          5/10/03    ABBOTT & COSTELLO
965          5/17/03    OPEN
966          5/24/03    HAJ, F. KRAMDEN, SIR
967          5/31/03    OPEN
968          6/7/03      ACUTE ANGINA
969          6/14/03    KOWPADDY/FULL MOON
970          6/21/03    OPEN
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

It was really a wonderful run.  I thought I had never been in that ravine before, but I had, only from a different angle. I had run up the ravine before and not down. But it was a great run.  And you can see from where it went, that even though it was not well cut, it took a lot just to find it and mark it.  Anyone can do it.  All it takes is a little elbow grease, some flour, and BALLS.  So come on you wimps and faggots.  Get out there and volunteer to be a hare.  You could go down in history.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
PARTY FOR TUPPERBUTT AT WET DREAM’S HOUSE.  6PM ON SUNDAY
ASK FOR DIRECTIONS.
TAGA, INC. LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR TAGAMAN IN MAY.  VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM 

13 hounds including Berserk Berk and N.A.D.I.H.M. (dragging Butch with her) from the Agony hash showed up. Gaggles of Guamaniacs was here for the XTERRA but were too cool to run the hash. Even Blow Job was still here. The box was announced as the P.A.C.B.A.R. Radar Station in Marpi and everyone headed in that direction.  Once in the box the hares gave special instructions and then were off.  Since there were no FNG’s the box was rather silent as we explored the generator building in which we had been ensconced.

After the 10-minute head start, thepack was off to the first checking, which was a red herring into the jungles north and south of the road.  True trail went down the main road to another checking, at the Robert J. Oppenheimer Memorial Quonset hut.  The Tyrant and Laura headed down towards Laderan Tangke Trail but ran into an on back only a few feet from the trailhead.  True trail was on the Little Burma Road  and ran all the way down (this was the last time anyone saw Butch), to the DPS Shooting Range.  A checking here took the pack down on an old bike trail into an area called Sabanan Nanasu.  The trail meandered through here for quite a while until it turned up again and started towards the peak of Mt. Suu Suu. The trail got to the peak of Ogso Achugao, where you can go back to the Radar Station, or go down into Kannat Pau Pau  (which we call Paradise Valley).  We skittered down the north face of the valley and then down into the area where the old flood control project blocks the water.  As we came out of the jungle, a family was having a picnic at their farm and told us we were on the right trail.  Blow Job and the Tyrant came out of the valley together and went over to GTC looking for trail but found none.  Blow Job stayed on the beach, but Kramden went back to the road and ran into Ladrone  and N.A.D.I.H.M. at the main road. They followed flour all the way to the road to the San Roque Cemetery and this is where the trail went.  A bunch of mourners were sitting around drinking beer on the graves and made disparaging remarks to Fely as she passed.  The trail went down to the beach and then over to Pau Pau.  Most everyone was in before dark, except Butch and a rescue party was sent out after the vehicle run.  Tupperbutt was trying to escape to the XTERRA party but being the hare he was responsible for finding the missing sheep.  Buthc was never found, but the car he was driving was gone from the box and he was the only one with the keys so we assumed he made it out.  Once everyone was accounted for, the Tyrant piped up Religion and the hares were called forward. There were some courtesies, some jokes, some tales from the trail, but not much else and very soon after it started, Religion was over and the Tyrant called for policing the area.  Swing Low was sung and everyone went somewhere to eat.  The Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR & 2003 & 2004
THE NEXT POSSIBLE WORLD INTERHASH IN CARDIFF WALES. (WITH PRELIMINARY RUNS IN UK, CZECH REPUBLIC, FRANCE, ETC).
http://www.hasher.net/ih2004.htm

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  G.FOGHORN WINSLOW
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)
RECEDING HARELINE
962          4/26/03    RED SQUIRREL
963          5/3/03      MIHARU
964          5/10/03    ABBOTT & COSTELLO
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Once again we find ourselves looking for volunteers to set trail for the Saipan hash.  Where it is warm.  Where it is easy.  Where the sun also shines.  And then we hear from Meep Meep who is living in the South Pole, where it ranges from –58 to –85 degrees.  We hear that she and another hasher are about to embark on the first ever South Pole Hash House Harriers run.  Carrying 30 pounds of ECW (Extremely Cold Weather) clothing, red lights (to avoid conflict with experiments), chem.-lites and little hash signs on little bamboo poles.  I mean it is like REAL WORK.  And you faggots sit back and drink your beer in the warm tropical air, and can’t drag your ass up long enough to spend two hours in the bush tying toilet papers to trees, because that is all it really takes.

BE A HARE. CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO
 BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until MARCH, 2003)

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
XTERRA VOLUNTEERS ARE INVITED TO THE AQUARIUS BEACH TOWER BEACHSIDE, ON MONDAY, APRIL 21,2003 FOR AN APPRECIATION PARTY SPONSORED BY THE MARIANAS VISITORS AUTHORITY.
TAGA, INC. LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR TAGAMAN IN MAY.  VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM

TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME.  PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.