27 hounds including Logan, son of Hajjii Pee Wee, showed up at the Bank of Guam to see how rough a trail was for a hare to break her leg.  Those hounds included FNG Adam from London (who CrackerJack made come), and  Ueno Yoshinori , Julie Sarich, and Karen Ramsey. We also were honored with visiting Hashers Danuta Pascori and Macha Rozwadowski.  The box was announced as Kannat Gardens poolside, and everyone drove here and parked in the upper parking lot.  The hares gave special instructions which included white and pink ribbon, as well as a “STOP & WAIT” mark for those who were slow and might go into the jungle after dark. After the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s, everybody broke the box.  Red Sasquatch was chatting up some girl in the pool until just before the 10-minute head start was up, and then acted like he had been there the whole time, to ingratiate himself with the Tyrant.  The trail went straight into Kannat Eddot, which is the valley that runs behind the apartment compound.  We followed this trail for about ¾ of a mile until an arrow took us into a creek bed on the right.  We followed this up and east until we came out on the hillside above Papago. The trail looped around this hill and then headed down towards Papago.  Eventually we worked our way around a house and there was a water stop just before we left the jungle.  We came out of the jungle right next to Justice Miguel Demapan’s house.  We then followed the dirt road out to the intersection of Cross Island Road and Botanical Gardens.  The trail then went south on this road to Santos Acres.  True trail went into the valley below Santos Acres that comes out on the Rick Rasa family housing compound and this area is known as Ogso Lau Lau, (where the Tyrant was threatened before), so he flew to Facey Farms. Here the Tyrant ran into the rest of the pack, which was on the road at the base of Facey Farms. The trail then went out to an arrow on the main road, which took the pack on the road to Millionaire Acres.  Anohter arrow took the pack right into Kannat Lau Lau or one of the ravines, which runs down into Lau Lau Beach.  The upper part of the ravine was full of trash and garbage.  About half way down the trail, we ran into the first of two bee’s nest.  Many people, including the Tyrant, got stung.  The trail continued down the ravine, hit the Lau Lau road, and then another arrow across the road took the pack into yet another ravine, and then a short trot to the beach.  The hares had prepared Chili (with and without meat) and of course there were the usual hash snacks.  Ciega and Rima both had injured their legs or ankles somewhere on the trail, but made it in before dark.  Most people made it in before dark except for Ken Dewire, Susan, and Adam from London, who had to be chariot rode in.  Oly (who had been at sailing camp last week) was back to get the fire going.  A vehicle run was done, and it was a lot shorter than I thought it would be.  Once everyone was in, the Tyrant piped up Religion and all three (one hare drinks, all hares drink) hares were called forward.  Sword Swallower, against the explicit instructions of her DR. was drinking and taking painkillers and as the evening wore on, it was obvious.  Cheshire Pussy and the emergency hare Pucker Boy talked about how this trail came about.  Next the visiting hashers were called forward and only the guy came up and talked about hashing in Saudi Arabia.  The FNG’s were called next, and although the Japanese guy did not speak English, he had prepared a speech to explain why he was hashing (he saw it on TV and had Pacific Micronesia Tours call the Tyrant at work). Next the Tyrant called for courtesies and there were many.  This was an outstanding run, even though there were so many wounded. The hares kept coming up (one hare drinks, all hares drink) and giving tales from the trail, as did many people.  And there were many tales.  Eventually however, the Tyrant called for retiring the vessel and policing the area.  Swing Low was sung and the assembled (full from the Chili) all headed home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  J.R.R.R. TOLLBOOTH
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
960          4/12/03    OPEN
961          4/19/03    OPEN
962          4/26/03    RED SQUIRREL
963          5/3/03      MIHARU
964          5/10/03    ABBOTT & COSTELLO
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

----

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
We really need your help on the XTERRA and the Tagaman.  Please contact the Tyrant.
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRYWWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

TAXES!TAXES!  WE DON’T NEED NO STINKING TAXES!  JUST SPONSORS.

23 hounds showed up at the BOG to run a solo run. The box was announced as the Old Revenue and Tax building on Capitol Hill, and we all headed up there.  The computer parts that have been up there since the last time we were there are still there, and Blow Job still can’t fix them.  However, someone had cut down the jungle that was choking the stairs.  Once inside the box, Maxchismo gave special instructions and then took off.  The Tyrant then ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s.  After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off.  About 200 feet from the box, a checking took the pack right down the side of the hill, due west from the old Congress of Micronesia.  From here it was all down hill.  There was lots of slippery soil, slippery ferns, and loose rocks.  The trail was in and out of a riverbed and was lush, and tropical, and beautiful.  We even ran into a huge bamboo grove.  The trail continued down hill, and at times it was very steep.  Eventually, we popped out of the jungle at the top of Sadog Tasi, right next to Don Bufton’s steel rattan house.  A checking here took the pack south towards Dave Wiseman’s house and then through Hajji Peewee’s old apartment.  From here we went out to the Maui IV road, and then to the Capitol Hill Road.  An arrow took us down to the Mobil Station, and those of us who were stupid enough followed another arrow into the housing compound behind the Mobil station.  Huge attack dogs tried to eat Kramden and Cracker Jack, but the Tyrant bared his teeth and the dogs whimpered away.  The trail continued down to the Shell Station now and then across the road to Lower Base.  The smell from the polluted run off under the bridge was over powering.  The trail then continued down to the beach and the On Home.  As the hounds arrived, we saw Heavy Flow run into the On Home but she was not on the hash and was just doing an afternoon run. In the absence of Oly, Dog Leg started the fire, which was then tended by Blow Job. Most of the pack came in together, all except Ladrone, who of course came in last.  Once a vehicle run was done, and everyone got back, the Tyrant piped up Religion and the hare was called forward.  After this we called the FNG’s, Gary and Chris, and they talked about how Pucker Boy made them come. The Tyrant called for courtesies and for jokes and got a little of both.  Eventually though, Religion died so the Tyrant called for policing the area.  Then, Swing Low was sung, and the assembled headed to Hamilton’s. The Tyrant of course, went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  DUMB CLANCY
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
959          4/5/03      BUSTER BROWN
960          4/12/03    OPEN
961          4/19/03    OPEN
962          4/26/03    RED SASQUATCH
963          5/3/03      MIHARU
964          5/10/03    ABBOTT & COSTELLO
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Although we have run some of this run before, you have got to hand it to Maxchismo, for taking the time to do what he did, to give us all something to do on a Saturday afternoon. You should all try that one time. We have two runs open, 960 and 961, on April 12 and 19.

Balls of Steel and Marlboro Man had a baby and DID NOT NAME HER KRAMDEN OR WOLF!

We also got news from Lil Chicken Dick and Haj Floorshow and Bob Sagget, Bob Sagget.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM 

There was a passel of about 35 hounds that showed up at the BOG for an impromptu Toga run set in honor of the Ides Of March.

Amazingly enough, most of the people who showed up actually did wear toga’s.

There was an FNG couple from Germany and Chicago respectively, as well as a PIC Clubmate (N.W.A.T.P.I.C.!) and a teacher or two. The box was announced and the assembled headed up to Mount Topuchau and the infamous July 4th Ridge.  The hares gave special instructions and then were off. The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s and then blabbed until the 10-minute head start was over.  As the time ran out, the pack went out to the main road and split left and right, because no matter which way you went it was downhill.  The trail actually went down north and into partially cleared land on the left.  Smart hounds like the Tyrant ran to the Old Japanese Road and into the Xterra Bike trail, which had been recently cleared. This of course followed the trail down to the Turkey farm and the Chalan Galaide Road.  From here it was a straight shot to Former Governor Lorenzo Iglesias Deleon Guerrero’s farm and into the Chinatown Gulley.  This is where the run got kind of scary.  Some of the rocks were covered with moss and were slicker than cat shit!  On top of this, we had to avoid the old metal cable that seems to run the length of the gulley.  We also (those dumb enough to do it) got to go into the caves hollowed out by the Japanese.  At the bottom of the ravine we popped out near the Sugar King hotel and this is where the run went to shit.  The FRB’s got off trail somewhere in lower MIHA.  The hounds not to far behind (Jordass and Kramden) saw them go down hill and figured they would be going to Micro Beach (just like the Xterra).  In fact, these two kept the FRB’s in sight all the way down to the BOG.  So they ran straight to the beach and ended up at Micro Beach and nobody home.  Except Farticus had blabbed to his EGO challenged buddies where the On Home was so Jordass and Kramden got a ride with Burma Shave all the way to the On Home.  Meanwhile, the rest of the pack, made their way back to MIHA and found the trail in the Navy Hill Gulley and up to where it comes out near GCA.  From here it was a short hop up the hill to the Old Lighthouse.

Someone had done a great job of clearing the brush away from the building and taking away all of the debris, so we had to rummage around for a pit for the fire.  Salt Pieter found one and he and the Tyrant carried it up to the roof.  A vehicle run was done and most people came back, but Ladrone and the stragglers were still out.  There were found just after the sun set so it was not too dark.  The Tyrant piped up Religion and made the HUGE MISTAKE of asking KowPaddy to be the RA.  He was okay for the first five minutes or so, but when it came to the FNG’s, he kept asking stupid question after stupid question, none of which were the sacred questions. After this was done, Wong Wei got up and gave a trip report from Hong Kong (where the men thought Heavy Flow was a GUY!!??).  Next Ladrone gave a trip report from Guam and how he chastised the Guamaniacs for being so pathetic that they had to STEAL one of our icons to give themselves worth. Then there were many courtesies to the run, and also many discourtesies, because like true Roman aristocrats, the two hares were only doling out pinches of flour on trail.  The smoke was horrendous and the fire was just all over the place.  So eventually, the Tyrant called for policing the area, and Swing Low was sung.  The assembled made their way down the stairs and to the parking lot and then decided to end the night at Hamilton’s where the usually do.  The Tyrant of course went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  ROBERT PUDLAM
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
958          3/29/03    CHESHIRE PUSSY & SWORD
                                SWALLOWER
959          4/5/03      OPEN
960          4/12/03    OPEN
961          4/19/03    OPEN
962          4/26/03    RED SQUIRREL
963          5/3/03      MIHARU
964          5/10/03    ABBOTT & COSTELLO

Editorial

REGARDLESS OF WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU THINK, THE RECEDING HARELINE HAS 3 OPENINGS IN A ROW.  AREN’T YOU ASHAMED?  ARE YOU NOT THE LEAST BIT CURIOUS ABOUT BEING A HARE? C’MON GUYS AND GALS, BE SOMEBODY, BE A HARE.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!  YOU WILL THANK GEORGE BUSH SOME DAY.
GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
MARCH 22, TINIAN CROSS COUNTRY AND HASH, ON TINIAN, CONTACT ED AND ETEMINGIL@HOTMAIL.COM
RED CROSS WALKATHON, MARCH 29,2003 CONTACT KRAMDEN FOR PLEDGE FORMS.
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM 

About 20 unsuspecting marathoners showed up at the Bank of Guam for a run no one was sure we had hares for.  Even Blow Job who was going to be gone for a long time showed up after only two weeks.  However, Grab Ass did show up and he even had co-hares.  There were 2

Lebanese FNG’S, Mr. And Mrs. Massimo, who Eric made come.  The box was announced and the assembled headed there.  We started in the cave that was our on home on the last “will it ever stop raining?” run a few weeks ago.  The hares talked about pink ribbon and flour, and then took off.  The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s and then waited for the 10-minute head start to be eaten up.  Once it was, the pack was off and up the stairs.  A checking at the top took the pack in all directions, but the true trail went out to the main road.  A checking at the lower Obyan road took the pack to a long On Back.  Once the FRB’s had figured it out, we were about ¼ mile down the road.  Sane people would have figured it out (as Beerhead and Ciega did later on) and gone straight to Obyan.  But NO!!! In the words of the former Saipan Hasher Claymore,  “Never underestimate the stupidty of the hounds”.  So we all ran back to the Ladder Beach road and a checking at the top of the hill.  The trail then went north and another checking took us along the fence line of the airport.  We got to see Northwest take off and Continental arrive, in the 20 minutes that it took us to cover the 2 miles from one end to the other.  Another checking at the end of the fence line broke the pack up once more.  The Tyrant became a big dog for just a few seconds when the FRB’s checked left, but the true trail went right.  The true trail went over to the Obyan road and then checked north again towards the quarry.  The entire pack started to catch up with the FRB’s, and Tupperbutt kept talking about being smooth or something so he could get a name change. (NOT!) The trail continued out to the Naftan Road (and there was speculation that we would be going to the gun range on the eastern side of the peninsula), but after about 10 minutes of running up the trail, the FRB’s came back, with the hare!!! Apparently some phantom had gotten into the jungle before Grab Ass and stolen all of his pink tape so he got lost.  Good thing too, because he was going to run us all the way to Boy Scout Beach Road and then ALL THE WAY BACK TO LADDER Beach!  Red Sasquatch and Cracker Jack hijacked some tourists and got a ride to Ladder Beach and proceeded to dump the pallets down the stairs.  Unbeknownst to them, the Tyrant decided that Obyan Beach would be a better (and closer) on home, so this is where they went.  On the vehicle run, the two smart teachers had to go down and get the pallets and load them back in the truck to be taken to the real on home.  A couple of haoling looking girls were waiting at Ladder for us and apparently did not run, but wanted to watch Religion (because they did not eat or drink anything).  Back at the On Home a fire was started.  The Tyrant piped up Religion and the hares came forward, and sheepishly confessed that absolutely NO thought went into this trail.  Mike, who was as substitute co-hare (which means fuck in Spanish) for Messaiah who broke his foot or something), was named Sub Fuck.  Next the FNG’s were called forward.  The little missy did a Venezuelan, while her Hubby called for a Palauan from Eric (who made him come).  So Eric obliged and became PUCKER BOY. There were many courtesies to the run and many discourtesies since it was just about the fuckiest run we have had in a long time. There were a few attempts at humor and the Tyrant was able to talk Blow Job out of shooting off flares.

By special request Alouette was sung and the men completely annihilated the women. Then, as is wont to happen on the hash, the Tyrant called for policing the area.  Swing Low was sung and the assembled headed for points north to eat. The Tyrant of course, went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  ROBERT PUDLAM
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
957          3/22/03    MAXCHEESMO
958          3/29/03    CHESHIRE PUSSY & SWORD
                                SWALLOWER
959          4/5/03      OPEN
960          4/12/03    OPEN
961          4/19/03    OPEN
962          4/26/03    RED SQUIRREL
963          5/3/03      MIHARU
964          5/10/03    ABBOTT & COSTELLO
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Dog Leg brings up some valid points at the Yahoogroups trough.  Many are called, but few are chosen.  I could never set a trail like Pinnocular or Elvis, but that should not keep me from trying.  Live the adventure.  If you are not assigned, sign up.  If you are assigned, be sure to do your duty.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
MARCH 22, TINIAN CROSS COUNTRY AND HASH, ON TINIAN, CONTACT ED AND ETEMINGIL@HOTMAIL.COM
RED CROSS WALKATHON, MARCH 29,2003
CONTACT KRAMDEN FOR PLEDGE FORMS.
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM 

17 people including Maxcheesmo and Luke showed up at the BOG to run with the Firemaster and Cheshire Pussy.  The box was announced as one of the metal bunkers past the FEBC radio road.  Abbott asked if the trail was dog friendly and was told that it was not really, but brought the dogs anyway.  On the way up we found out why it is a REALLY BAD IDEA to build a drag strip for a bunch of spoiled “who do not follow rules on the regular road so why would we expect them to follow rules on the track” brats.  Fortunately the police showed up later on to monitor their childish behavior.  Anyway, once we found the correct bunker, we all got inside and waited for the hares to give special instructions.  Bee’s were an important part of the instructions and we were NOT to go past an on back that would be clearly marked because there were vicious, man eating bee’s. Anyway the hares took off and since there were no FNG’s, everyone just chatted.  As Kramden and Fartacus were talking, Kramden began to fart.  Maxcheesmo was standing there trying not to gag on the smell or laugh at the poor old Tyrant.  He denied it later, but it was true.  After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off.  There was an arrow immediately outside the door pointing towards the back of the bunker.  There was a short circle jerk/cluster fuck behind the bunker and then we were back on the road.

The trail ran straight up the road towards the Last Command Post.  After about ¼ mile, there was another arrow pointing west into the jungle.  The trail went down into the jungle towards the ocean. Another cluster fuck here had the pack all over the place except on trail.  Eventually we found trail and then headed down towards the El Toro Blowhole.  It was here that we found the On BACK that should not be crossed.  So we headed north along the petrified coral and cliffs.  Here is where the whining dogs had to have help up the trail.  This was a very scenic trail, but it was even hard on everyone’s feet.  Soon we headed up through some pandanus and another clusterfuck.  Eventually we headed back down to the coastline.  Soon we headed into some dirt where we found the first group of vicious, man-eating bees, as well as the bloated carcass of a poor dead dog.  The whining dogs will probably need some psychological counseling after this horrible hash. Somewhere in here Kowpaddy though he was smarter than everyone else and got lost. We stayed close to the cliff line from here on in until we came out on the Banzai Cliff road next to the munitions bunker.  It was a short trek from here to the western cliff-line of Banzai.  The wind was radical.  A vehicle run was done.  Oly started a fire even though it was almost possible and soon the Tyrant piped up Religion.  The hares were called forward and talked about the change in the trail because of the bees, which had tried to kill them both.  Then the Tyrant called Ladrone, who gave us a trip report from London and the West London Hash House Harriers.  Of course, there is no hash like the Saipan hash and Ladrone just re-enforced this.  Dog Leg got everyone, (including the very pregnant Balls of Steel) to get up and do a down down except Marlboro Man (faggot). The fire was all over the place, setting fire to small area around Religion as well as throwing sparks on the cliff fishermen who were just outside our ray of lights.  Eventually the Tyrant called for retiring the vessel, and policing the area.  Swing Low was sung and the fire put out. The assembled headed to Hamilton’s.  The Tyrant of course, went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  ABDULLAH SALAMI
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
956          3/15/03    RAT
957          3/22/03    MAXCHEESMO
958          3/29/03    PLF
959          4/5/03      OPEN
960          4/12/03    ABBOTT
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Even though this was not virgin territory, it was still a good trail and we could see that lots of work went into it.

If you do not want to sign up to be a hare, there are many things that you can do to help the community at large.  The American Red Cross is having it’s annual Walkathon, on March 29 at 6am at Kili Beach Park.  It would be nice if we could get some hashers to form a group and collect pledges and turn it in as a donation.  There is also the Marianas March Against Cancer, which is an all night run around the track to raise funds for cancer research and treatment. There are also the XTERRA and TAGAMAN which need local volunteers (that is those of us who live on Saipan, not necessarily indigenous) to help run these fantastic events.  If you are to lazy, or scared, or just plain lack commitment to be a hare, join one of these other activities.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
MARCH 22, TINIAN CROSS COUNTRY AND HASH, ON TINIAN, CONTACT ED AND ETEMINGIL@HOTMAIL.COM
RED CROSS WALKATHON, MARCH 29,2003
CONTACT KRAMDEN FOR PLEDGE FORMS.
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP. OR EMAIL WOLF@SAIPAN.COM
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM 

12 hounds, including 1 FNG hare and one FNG hound (Mrs. Susan), and a relocating Kiwi hasher named Donna.  We also (at least I did) welcomed the return of Ciega who had been in the Hawaiian Islands, gallivanting around. The box was announced as the Chalan Kanoa Sugar Dock and we were instructed to park behind the Townhouse.  Once everyone was there, we went out to the end of the dock in the shade of the little building on the end.  The hares gave special instructions (white flour and orange bio-degradable tape).  Once the hares left, the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s.  After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off and went straight out to Beach Road.  A checking here split the pack and some went south towards Townhouse.  Others, watching from the checking, saw them cut across the street, and followed suit across the front of the Cathedral, past the ball field, and then in through the Cemetery.

The trail went back to Texas Road and then into the bowels of Chalan Kanoa.  The trail went as far as it could go without going into Lake Susupe.  The trail went south again to Tun Joaquin Doi road and then up the hill to Fina Sisu.  About 3 quarters of the way up the road, the Tyrant started looking for some markings, which had been made many years ago by two hashers on another run, which had been going down hill at the time, on the unpaved road.  The rain ditches on either side of the road had just been poured, and Snooky (Mike Brooks) and Rajneesh had scratched their names into the wet cement.  It was still there after all these years.  The trail continued up the road, past As Kiyu Fina Sisu, and over to the As Lito road.  A checking here took the pack south again to the road that leads to Saipan International School.  The trail followed this dirt road all the way around, past Dog Leg and Phlegm Phatale’s house (which Ciega and Beerhead inspected), and then up to the road behind the old MVB building and Red Cross. It was at this point many of us started saying, “I can’t believe that Salt Pieter would set this trail!” A checking here took the pack all over the place but eventually to the “Adios, Come Again” sign.  We went towards Dan Dan, we went towards the Mobil station, and we went towards the airport.  Finally, we stumbled upon the trail, which took us into the jungle around the old airfield hard stands.  The trail meandered through here and eventually popped out near the airport fence.  We then followed the airport fence north until it came out on the quarry road.  From here it was a long, hot, run to the Obyan road, and a checking which took us into a rock sorting area.  At the back of this clearing, we found trail into the jungle.  We also found thousands of boonie pepper plants in beautiful reds, yellows, and greens.  The trail meandered through here and past a animal water trough.  Soon we popped out onto a driveway next to an old abandoned house.  The driveway took us out to the Obyan road, and then to Obyan beach, and the On Home.

The hares were waiting and had all the wood and stuff prepared.  People began to straggle in, and when it started to get dark, Salt Pieter went out to look for Fely, Geraldine, and the FNG who was last seen walking barefoot in the cemetery.  They FINALLY came in after dark and a vehicle run was done.  Once everyone got back from the vehicle run, the Tyrant piped up Religion. The hares were called forward, just as one of them was returning from the mercy mission, and apologized for the length of the run.  Next the visiting hasher was called up and she sky dives for a living and is living and sky diving here in Saipan now.  Then the FNG’s were called forward and did not want to show tits, so she picked someone (who I forget) to do a Palauan with.  There were more courtesies, some jokes, but everyone was just so damned tired that it was more fun to just sit around and enjoy the flames.  Eventually, the Tryant called for policing the area, Swing Low was sung, and the assembled headed to Hamilton’s for a late night repaste.  The Tyrant got a ride the box and then of course, went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  WOODWARD AND B’URNSTEIN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
955          3/8/03      GRABASS
956          3/15/03    RAT
957          3/22/03    MAXCHEESMO
958          3/29/03    PLF
959          4/5/03      OPEN
960          4/12/03    ABBOTT
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

It sure feels good to be a BIG DOG again even though there were only 12 hounds.  But MAN…..WHAT A LONG RUN.  I guess that every once and a while we need to get some mileage on the hash. But I am not getting any longer and it took me two full days to recover.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
MARCH 22, TINIAN CROSS COUNTRY AND HASH, ON TINIAN, CONTACT ED AND ETEMINGIL@HOTMAIL.COM
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP.
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

22 hounds, including 2 Columbian FNG’s came to the BOG in there sleepy best. Kowpaddy took photos (see below) and then left to do something impotent.   Red Squirrel showed up (but did not let us see those swollen puppies) and did not run.  I guess she was just checking to make sure that Red Sasquatch was not drooling too much.  Sister Father (Dog Leg in Nun Drag) was also there, but without Phlegm Phatale.   We then all headed to the Oleai Beach Club parking lot. Since this was going to be a pub-crawl, the hares would run with the pack.  Once we started, and Heavy Flow took off her robe, tunnel vision took over and we headed for Johnny’s Beach Bar and Grill.  Unfortunately they were closed, so we had a pit stop and drank beer and water from the coolers in the back of the beer truck, which was being driven by Ma Brown.

After everyone was quenched, we followed Heavy Flow’s glistening cheeks past the Diamond Hotel, and in through the Grand hotel lobby, to Club Jama.  We took over the dance floor, and all of the girls ran and hid.  MHP (oh, by the way, he was the co-hare but we could not see HIS ass so who cares) fought with the bartender over the padded bill and eventually we left here.  It was back to Beach Road and then down past the Sugar Dock, and on to the Pacific Gardenia, where we had another round of drinks. After this it was off again after Heavy Flows Giggly Glutes and up past San Isidro beach.  We popped out at Joeten Chalan Piao, and then headed straight for the Pacific Islands Club.  We past some of Heavy Flows co-workers who were as shocked to see as much of her as she was shocked to see them.  Eventually we went into the lobby of the PIC, where a sign directed us to the “SAIPAN HASH PARTY, CHARLEY’S CABARET.”  There were two more signs that led us right into the back door and up to the bar.  They were waiting for us, to pass out tickets (one free drink) and then we waited for everyone to arrive.

Once everyone showed up, the hares called for all the men to line up near the end of the stage.  They had the DJ put on “I’M TOO SEXY” and each one of us had to strut our stuff on the stage.  Next it was the ladies turn.  The two Columbians were acting hot for each other and the boys got into frenzy. After more dancing and revelry, the pack was off to the beach next to the PIC.  A vehicle run was done, the fire was started, and the Tyrant piped up Religion.  Dog Leg removed the nuns outfit and was standing there in his black bikini panties, garter, and mesh stocking.

The hares were called forward, (after Red Sasquatch called Heavy Flow several times just to remind her he was watching), and they got up and gave great courtesy to each other.  The FNG’s were then called forward and admitted that Slit Wide Open made them come (and she had to translate for them).  Ticuna and Amazona were their names.  Blow Job had no flares, and this was good. There was some joke telling, and much pants pulling and general ass grabbing, and then it was time to retire the vessel.  The area was policed, and then the assembled headed in many directions.  Kramden went home, but not before dropping off the coolers at Ciega’s, and running into a group of hounds looking for a party at Coffee Care. It was here that Salt Pieter reminded Kramden that there was a full moon run the next day.  Fortunately,  Blow Job had “borrowed” a cooler for the party (Schnozz’s) so they kept it for the next day.  THEN the Tyrant went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  WOODWARD AND B’URNSTEIN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
953          2/22/03    SALT PIETER
954          3/1/03      OLY OLE
955          3/8/03      GRABASS
956          3/15/03    RAT
957          3/22/03    MAXCHEESMO
958          3/29/03    PLF
959          4/5/03      OPEN
960          4/12/03    ABBOTT
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

We experienced another great Lingerie run in the tradition of the runs begun by Dick Chair and Richard Cranium.  But how small our group has become.  So few hashers these days.  Well, the hash is kind of cyclical.  People grow up and forget how to have fun.   Thank heavens that will never happen to me. We also got to see what a little planning could do to make a run enjoyable.  Try it.  Be a hare.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
MARCH 22, TINIAN CROSS COUNTRY AND HASH, ON TINIAN, CONTACT ED AND ETEMINGIL@HOTMAIL.COM
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP.
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

30 hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam for the return of the legendary Pinoccular.  The assembled included Berserk Berk from the Agony Hash who was still here after last week’s run, and two FNG’s.  Danny, Gudentyt’s uncle, and a guy that Dog Leg made come.  The box was announced as the Radar station in Marpi, but it was actually the parking lot for the PACBAR station.  The hares gave special instructions and left hesitantly, since Blow Job said he was stopping by the port to pick some people up, and they were concerned that he would show up late and steal the run (as he has done in the past).  However, they left anyway and headed DOWN the main road.

The Tyrant took the time to ‘splain the instructions to the FNG’s and then the time was up.  The pack took off down the hill, except the Tyrant who went up to the dish and found nothing.  Little did he know, that later on Blow Job would go all the way past the dish and find trail.

Berserk Berk found the actual trail, after coming back from on On Back down the road, figured out that the Checking left for instructions was the actual checking which would take us into the jungle south of the parking lot.  A pink ribbon around the base of a tree just out of eyeshot gave the trail away. It was also obviously a Pinoccular trail because it looked as if someone had taken a John Deere Riding Mower and run it along the trail, rocks and all.  The only thing missing from making it an interstate was the asphalt. And the pack was on now.  The trail headed south to the side of the cliff that drops down hundreds of feet below the radar station.   However, before we got to the place where we would turn, there were two long strands of Pink Ribbon put up as a fence.   A peek past the fence saw a vertical drop to the jungle below of at least 150 feet. .The trail meandered around here and eventually turned north so we were running along the base of the cliff.  There were lots of loose rocks, and lots of limestone to gouge skin and scrape knees and shins.  The trail continued along the base of the cliff and then began to go up at the northern end.  Here we transected the Laderan Tangke Trail and this is also where Blow Job got to be an FRB.

The trail continued to meander through the Nature Trail as evidenced by the little “hiker” icons nailed to the tree, as well as the metal arrows, which showed tree huggers the way to go through the park.

Eventually though, we got off the nature trail and headed into some really rocky trail, which included a trip through a cave and out the other side.  Eventually, the trail came out on the Kalabera Cave Road about 100 yards south of the Bird Island Overlook. The trail was well-marked and even Ladrone made it in before dark.

A vehicle run was done and then Oly cranked up the fire.  It was a warm and toasty one, and when it was perfect, the Tyrant piped up Religion.  The hares were called forward and Pinoccular gave great honor to his co-hare for trying to give him good hare advice.  Then the co-hare got up and harangued the old man for not heeding (much less hearing) any of his advice and chopping down entire stands of jungle to mark the trail (and using PLASTIC RIBBON to boot).  Next visiting hasher Berserk came up to invite everyone to the first Berserk Hash on Saipan to be held the next day.  Then the FNG’s were called forward and did great honor to those who brought them.

Then courtesies were called for and thus began a succession of people coming up and talking about the great run, beginning with Blow Job who started last but ended first.  And then there was Fartucus who started later but still passed several people on trail.  There were even some attempts at indictments but they were too few and weak to make a difference. Then Blow Job kept pulling Pinoccular’s pants down.  Then Blow Job started launching flares again. Then Blow Job did some naked fire jumping.  Then, to spare everyone, the Tyrant called Schnozz forward to do her shoe down down.   As she stepped forward, hash men stood behind her humming “America”, and ogling her (the fire was in front of her and they could see EVERYTHING).  The Tyrant gave her the admonition to carry on the tradition and instead of drinking from her shoe, she took option number one and bumped the DLMM up to where it is today.  Many hashers who will actually miss her followed her. Or they were just happy to see TITS since it has been so long. Eventually this was over and the vessel retired.  The area was policed, Swing Low sung, and the assembled headed to Hamilton’s even though there was a party where a lawyer with huge TITS (we know because she showed them on the hash) was leaving to go back wherever her TITS came from.

The Tyrant of course went home (after dropping the coolers at Ciega’s and giving Gudentyte and her uncle [who left a pile of puke in Ciegas begonias] a ride home).

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             OPEN
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  URNEST HUMMINGWAY
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
952          2/15/03    MHP & HEAVY FLOW
                “THE LINGERIE RUN” S.U.Y.T.
953          2/22/03    SALT PIETER
954          3/1/03      OLY OLE
955          3/8/03      OPEN
956          3/15/03    RAT
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Tits are always worth the wait.  Only this time I waited too long.  Or maybe MHP is right and I need to get my peripheral vision checked.  We have women who think they are too small and we have women who think they are too big.  In my opinion, tits can NEVER be too big.  And those guys that say more than a mouthful is too much are full of shit.  But I digress.  We say farewell to yet another erstwhile hasher in the form of Schnozz.  She is going to try and be a fumbling bumbling idiot.  And maybe she will come back to Saipan to hammer some more congressmen, or even the governor.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
XTERRA SAIPAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR APRIL AND THE TAGAMAN IS LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR MAY.  CALL THE TYRANT AT 236-2540 TO SIGN UP.
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT  WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

75 hounds showed up at the BOG including a gaggle of Guamaniacs here for our AGPU. Simius Maximus, Golden Tampon, Rude Boy, Bloody Q-tip, and Bean Dad just to name a few.  We also so one FNG, Dr. Dick who would be renamed later during religion.  We also saw the return of Pinnocular, Blow Job, and the long missing One Hand Full and Rainman. The box was announced as the Plumeria (SURPRISE), and the assembled headed there and were parked behind what is left of the main dining room.  The hares got organized, gave special instructions, and then were off.  The Tyrant made a speech and gave the FNG instructions (and this was supposed to be read by some of the hounds but they fucked it up).

After the 10-minute head start the pack was off to the lobby of the hotel and out to the main road.  The pack split up here with the majority heading north which was the right direction.  At the end of the Aqua Resort, a checking took the pack into some private property and past the front of Congressman Dino Jones house.  We immediately went into the jungle here and would not see road for another 45 minutes.  The jungle here was lush and tropical.  We meandered along the face of the hill for some time until we dropped down into one branch of a river, which had been used to dump tons of WWII military debris.  There were airplane parts, canteens, sacred vessels, tires, chassis, all sorts of cool stuff.  We stayed in the river for some time until we started to go up and around the entrance to some caves.  The trail was all over the place, and since there was so much cloud cover, it was hard to tell in which direction we were going.  Eventually we topped out again and then dropped into another branch of the river.  In here we found even more WWII stuff, including two huge vats (for making rum?) and more military flotsam.  The trail eventually popped out on the CUC Million Gallon Tank Access road and then down to Wallace Highway.  Down to the beach and then a beach run back to the Plumeria for Religion.  Once everyone was in (no vehicle run necessary), showers taken, and rain weenies under the cover of the Cowboy Grill, the food (which was hot and bountiful) was served. As we were eating, Dr. Dick performed minor surgery by re-sewing some sutures on a hound whose stitches had popped on trail.  After dinner, we went down to the beach, and Oly prepared the fire.  Religion was called to order, the Tyrant welcomed everyone, and the hares called forward.  The hares blew collective smoke up each others asses and then the visiting hashers were called up.  All of the Agony hashers noted how much improved the SH3 is since run 777 (eternal Shame on CLD).  Next the FNG’s were called forward and when asked who they were, the Tyrant interrupted and named the Doctor NUM NUM NUM, (for no anesthetic) and Irma SLIT WIDE OPEN for getting fixed there in front of God and everybody.  Next tales from the trail were done, as well as courtesies to this awesome run. During Religion, the ever naughty Blow Job was launching emergency flares and the police showed up and made him stop.  A Guamaniac ran down the beach with a flare out of his ass and the neighbor kids thought that was just about the coolest thing ever.  We also got to see the Elephant Walk up close and personal.  But all things must come to an end, and the area was policed, and Swing Low was sung.  Now the party really began.  After Religion, the dance floor was open and everyone danced and danced and danced until almost midnight.  Bereserk Berk also invited everyone to a Berserk Run on Sunday, 2/9.  More dancing, rafter hanging, dancing, etc. and then it was time to go home.  The Tyrant got to go home with Hajj Annette who came for the party.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             HAJ CLAYMORE
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: DOG LEG
HASH SCRIBE:  CORNHOLIO COBBER
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
952          2/15/03    MHP & HEAVY FLOW
                “THE LINGERIE RUN” S.U.Y.T.
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

What a mess.  The continuing saga of the Hash urn continues on the list bot.  I sure will be glad when they get power and water back in Guam so those people can get back to work.  I thought I was a Hashaholic.  I thought I did not have much of a life.

GREAT HONOR TO THE HARES FOR THE GREAT TRAIL AND THE GREAT FOOD, AND THE GREAT PARTY AFTER THE HASH.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
ANNUAL MVA HALF-MARATHON/10K SOMETIME AT THE END OF JANUARY. CONTACT MVA DIRECTLY.664-3200
TO PUT SOMETHING IN THE TRASH  CONTACT TYRANT AT  WOLF@SAIPAN.COM OR 236-2540.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET.  TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM