15 hounds showed up at the Bank Of Guam including the long missing Pixel Dick and Mrs. Dick, and the vacationing Bob Sagget-Bob Sagget. There were no hares in sight.  However, the ever-ready Trail Master Dog Leg pulled Red Squirrel’s Nut’s name out of the vessel and then was chosen as the co-hare (which means fuck in Spanish).  The assembled told RSN’s to use the trail that he and Red Squirrel had been working on for the following week, but being pussy whipped (it takes one to know one) he declined.  So the assembled were instructed to go the Beach at the bottom of the beach access road at Coral Ocean Point Country Club and this is where we went.  A box was made at a tiny little cove just out of sight of the road, and the special instructions were white ribbon and flour.  The hares then took off and the hounds just played around in the box for the 10-minute head start.  After about 8 minutes, Blow Job broke the box and headed out, followed 2 minutes later by the rest of the honest hounds.  The trail was a pretty boring run up the hill, checking to the right on the road, past the Pacific Castle, and then a boring run out on to the little conclave that is fronted by the Ladder Beach Road.  The trail popped out here and then went into the old U.S. Army Air Corps Bivouac area east of the beach.  We then got on a trail that was part of a full moon run as well as a Dog Leg/Phlegm Phatale run. The trail meandered along the coastline for a while until we popped out on Phlegms family property.  This had been an on Home several months ago.  The trail then followed the access road out to the Ladder/Obyan parallel road and then a straight run out to Obyan. Fortunately it did not rain on the trail at all and everyone made it in before dark.  Dog Leg regaled us with trails of skulls unearthed and then included in the old tire barricade of the parking lot.  A vehicle run was done, and an attempt to start the fire with a flare was made.  After about 20 minutes of blowing and stoking, the wet pallets finally caught on fire.  The Tyrant called the hares forward and Dog Leg boasted about getting RSN’s nuts before Red Squirrel, and we all wondered if there would be a cat fight at next weeks hash over who “was there first”.  We shall see.  The Tyrant then called for courtesies and jokes, and there were a few.  Hulkus Maximus gave us a trip report of the previous weeks Red Dress Run in Guam and said he was treated rather well, but there is no hash like the Saipan Hash.  Bob Sagget-Bob Sagget told of her adventures in Denver with Marquessa and Floor Show and Slut.  Blow Job lauded the fact that Ciega would not be here for the next three weeks, and Ciega announced that although the hash had raised the fee, everyone paid this week and no one complained.  Kowpaddy also announced that he would be gone for 3 weeks (maybe something is going on between Ciega and Kowpaddy) but we just asked if his wife was ever coming back on the hash, because if he did not we didn’t care but we sure would like to see her again.  Eventually the festivities came to an end, the Tyrant called for policing the area, Swing Low was sung, and some people went to Hamilton’s, but the Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD THE YEAR 2002 & 2003 & 2004
Africa InterHash 2003! Diani Beach, Kenya, from May 1st to 4th. The Registration Fee is $115 until October 7th ($30 for under 17's). On top of the Registration Fee you'll pay $43 per night for all-inclusive accommodation. That's all the Tusker and goat you can stuff down yourself for 3 straight days! www.africainterhash2003.com

THE NEXT POSSIBLE WORLD INTERHASH
http://www.hasher.net/ih2004.htm

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             HAJ CLAYMORE
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE:  ANGLEO PEPPERONI

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
931          9/21         BUSTER BROWN/FULL MOON
932          9/28         HAJJI PEE WEE
933          10/5         PISSBREAK
934          10/12       MINNIE PEARL
935          10/19       BALLS OF STEEL
FM78       10/21       OPEN MONDAY FULL MOON
936          10/26       M&M MAN HALLOWEEN
937          11/2         CRACKER JACK
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Take my advice…..because I am not using it.  When Haj Annette and I travel, we do not even mention the “H” word.  So I do not hash when I am on vacation.  But those of you who are not pussy whipped, and are more adventurous, should read the “HASHING AROUND THE WORLD” portion of the trash and check out some of those sites.  The 2004 Cardiff site also includes some hashing in Eastern Europe, and we have former hashers living in Eastern Europe.  Blank Czech and Europina in Budapest, Fist Fuck in Serajevo.  How many of you have actually been to Europe?  Hashing is a way of life, and hashing around the world is an opportunity that too few of us take advantage of.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.
WHO’S LEFT?

23 hounds showed up at the Bank Of Guam to run what everyone expected to be a run in Marpi (we were right).  Blow Job brought FNG Anthony (who has worked in and around Saipan since 1995) but not hashed before.  Inflatable Slut (who we thought left last week) was back again. Once everyone climbed up the small hill that was knee high in grass and planted themselves in the slanted box, the hares gave special instructions, which were, white flour and NEW pink ribbon only.  So the hares took off and during the 10-minute head start, the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the lone FNG.  After the head start the pack was off, up the hill.  Those who stayed on the path found a checking, while those who stayed on the main road had to go around the heavy brush to get back on the trail and into the jungle.  From here the trail went straight up, towards the backside of Suicide Cliff.  It was here that we ran across more Japanese Era bottles and other pre-war flotsam.  The trail continued up hill for quite some time and then popped out on the Suicide Cliff Road, high above where we started.  A checking took us on the road south for a little ways and then back into the jungle.  We then started a slippery, loose rock descent, which would lead us to the Bird Island Road.  We popped out of the jungle only about 50 yards from where we first went in.  From here the trail went straight down to the Grotto Road.  As the Tyrant and Jordass were going down this way, Blow Job and Phlegm Phatale were heading out towards the road, planning to fly to Bird Island Overlook.  All of a sudden the heard, “ON HOME” and turned around and we all went to the checking at a little farm road.  This went through the swamp that Ginger Anal had talked about on the listbot, but eventually came out at the Bird Island Trail Head roundabout.  There was some debate as to whether we should go down to the beach or not, and the mosquitoes helped us to decide.  Dog Leg reconnoitered the trail and figured it was relatively safe.  So the Tyrant and Kow Paddy grabbed the first cooler and headed down.  Apparently no one had been down there in a while because the Tyrant kept walking in to spider webs.  Eventually everyone go to the bottom.  Kowpaddy got in the water and started scaring the bird crap out of the birds by whistling really loud (but this was nothing to what would happen later with the flares).  The Tyrant called for wood gathering since we were not sure if anyone was going to bring the pallets down.  The DLMM got a little jump when Cracker Jack was changing and walked over to the snacks, bent over, and then walked back.

Once everyone was in and Blow Job had started the fire with one of his highway flares, the Tyrant piped up Religion.  The hares were called forward and as is the custom when Virgin Hares are announced, the Tyrant demanded, “SHOW US THE SHEETS”.

Next the FNG was called forward and he honorably wore the nectar over his head.  Then courtesies for the run were called as well as jokes.  There was a boat bottom fishing just outside the reef and got the best part of the flare show. There was a trip report from Slut on his running into Marquessa, Bob Sagget-Bob Sagget, and Floorshow in Denver.  Piss Break got up and told some jokes (in the style only he can).  He also talked about his dinner with Laprobe and Fuu Fuu in Portland, as well as his visit with Huffy Puffy.  Blow Job and Cracker Jack put on a little “obnoxious sexist drunk at the bar” skit.   But eventually Elvis was called forward to bid hid farewells. Elvis turned over the Hash Firemaster’s bag for Oly (who is in Australia), and he took out the axe, the erotic shower curtain (for protecting the fire), as well as a bottle of Russian Vodka with peppers in it.  He was given the Tyrannical Hash Admonition and did his shoe down down as a beer chaser.  Many got up to do their courtesies to this short-lived but legendary hasher.  BJ, Doug, and Fartacus launched some flares and one of them was a little wayward and ended up ON Bird Island.  We all thought the fire would never go out.  But it did.  The down downs were over, the vessel was retired, the area policed, and Swing Low was sung, including an Elvis version.  The assembled headed back to Garapan to either Mom’s Round 2 or Hamilton’s.  The Tyrant of course, went hom.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
Are you afraid to attend the Interhash in Goa, India for fear of being nuked by the Pakistani’s.  Well the Maui Hash House Harriers are planning a Interhash for all you nuclear faggots.  Visit the site below for more information.
http://www.geocities.com/fewx_jacob/Mauihashhouseharrier.html

Africa InterHash 2003! Diani Beach, Kenya, from May 1st to 4th. The Registration Fee is $115 until October 7th ($30 for under 17's). On top of the Registration Fee you'll pay $43 per night for all-inclusive accommodation. That's all the Tusker and goat you can stuff down yourself for 3 straight days! www.africainterhash2003.com
THE YEAR 2002 & 2003

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             HAJ CLAYMORE
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE:  ANGLEO PEPPERONI

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$10.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
929          9/7           OPEN
930          9/14         BUSTER BROWN
931          9/21         BUSTER BROWN/FULL MOON
932          9/28         HAJJI PEE WEE
933          10/5         PISSBREAK
934          10/12       MINNIE PEARL
935          10/19       BALLS OF STEEL
FM78       10/21       OPEN MONDAY FULL MOON
936          10/26       M&M MAN HALLOWEEN
937          11/2         CRACKER JACK
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

It was an amazing sky this past week.  What we thought were clouds turned out to be a very well defined Milky Way.  And we saw several satellites passing overhead (leading us to believe that the heavy traffic meant that an attack on Iraq was imminent).  We also got a great flare show from Blow Job in honor of the dearly departing Elvis (RED FLARES OF COURSE!)  And although Elvis will be missed, we know that he is doing what he must do so that someday he can return and live here forever. (Or at least come back to pork his wife). And although the climb up the trail, in the dark, was hard, it was well worth the fun we had at Religion, and just being able to look at the sky without any light pollution at all.  Ain’t life Grand!?

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.
MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

WHO’S LEFT?

11 hounds (4 deadbeats did not pay (see editorial)), showed up at the Bank Of Guam including Elvis who had been in China.  The rain Weenies and people afraid to have their names drawn out of the vessel and be the hare, did not show up. Dog Leg announced that if there were no objections he would re-run the previous weeks Full Moon run which would probably be better in the day light anyway.  So the boxed was announced as the Kalabera Cave and everyone headed north.  The Tyrant chose to ride with WEB and do some male bonding with two other hashers whose names he seems to have forgotten.

Once in the box, the instructions were clear, flour and white ribbon (some flour which was left over from the previous week).  The hares were off and then we just shot the shit for the next 10 minutes until it was time to go.  Once out of the box, we ignored the arrow right (from the full moon run) and headed out to the main road.  A checking took the pack right for about ¾ of a mile and then another check took the pack over a gate and on to a farm.  The trail then headed out to towards the cliff line.  The trail meandered in and out of cow paddy filled fields and everyone trod very carefully so as not to step on one of these organic land mines.  Eventually the trails looped north and then back to the road.  Sometime during this great meander, the Tyrant caught up to Kowpaddy and there was a discussion about how Windtalkers could have been filmed on this end of the island because of the great views of the backside of Suicide Cliff and the cleared farmland.  Also it was here that the Tyrant tripped over some barbed wire and there was a loud CRACK!  Kowpaddy thought that the Tyrant had broken a rib, but actually it was just a rotten tree branch.  Soon the trail popped back out on the road and some people headed immediately toward the Bird Island Overlook.  True hashers however turned left and went to the Kalabera Cave and the arrow from last week and followed the trail north along the base of Suicide Cliff.  Eventually this trail did come out on the Kalabera road and a short jaunt to the On Home.  The Australian Dave was the FRB.  The coolers were taken down to the little tapanco made of cement tree limbs.  The Tyrant loaded his squirt gun to prepare for anyone who talked during Religion.  Snacks were eaten, vehicle runs done, a fire started and the Tyrant piped up Religion.  The hares were called forward and berated Leave It.  Courtesies were done and Elvis gave us a trip report about the Guangzhou (read that young nubile Chinese girls) Hash.  There were more courtesies and some tales from the trail.  Kowpaddy got up and explained about the horrendous tumble the Tyrant took.  Some jokes were told and then it was time to pipe up.  WEB, Haj Claymore, and Ladrone were the first to leave before the end of Religion, followed closely by Ciega and Jordass who HAD   to go to a party.  So when the Tyrant called for policing the area, there were not too many people left.  But those who were cleaned up the area, sang Swing Low, and then headed up the stairs.  Many continued on to Hamilton’s where the Later Inflatable Slut was leaving (again) for the last time.  The Tyrant of course, went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
Are you afraid to attend the Interhash in Goa, India for fear of being nuked by the Pakistani’s.  Well the Maui Hash House Harriers are planning a Interhash for all you nuclear faggots.  Visit the site below for more information.
http://www.geocities.com/fewx_jacob/Mauihashhouseharrier.html

Africa InterHash 2003! Diani Beach, Kenya, from May 1st to 4th. The Registration Fee is $115 until October 7th ($30 for under 17's). On top of the Registration Fee you'll pay $43 per night for all-inclusive accommodation. That's all the Tusker and goat you can stuff down yourself for 3 straight days! www.africainterhash2003.com

THE YEAR 2002 & 2003
MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             HAJ CLAYMORE
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE:  LUIGI LINGUINI
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
929       9/7       OPEN
930       9/14     BUSTER BROWN
931       9/21     OPEN/FULL MOON
932       9/28     HAJJI PEE WEE
933       10/5     PISSBREAK
934       10/12    MINNIE PEARL
935       10/19    OPEN
FM78    10/21    OPEN MONDAY FULL MOON
936       10/26    M&M MAN HALLOWEEN
937       11/2     CRACKER JACK
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

I could go on and on how disgusted I was with Leave It just Leaving It up to someone else to do the hash last week, without even trying really hard to find a replacement.  I hope that he takes his job at the government more seriously than his duties as a hasher.  HIM HIM, FUCK HIM!!!  May he burn in Hell with the hijackers from 9/11.

Speaking of money, there was quite a bit of talk and quite a bit of controversy over the raising of the hash fees to $10.  Let’s face it guys, where else can you get all the snacks you can it and beer and soft drinks you can drink (while supplies last), plus great live entertainment and a great run to boot, for only $7.00.  The last time I ran in Tokyo, it was Y1000 ($8.00) for the hash and Y2500 ($22.00) for my share of the dinner afterwards.  Hashing is not for everyone, but the next time you sit at Oleai Beach club for happy hour and buy 6 beers and 2 tacos, see how far your $7 can go.  It is time to stop depending on the elders (Ciega in particular) to be your meal ticket on the hash.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.
AKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

33 hounds included hare spouses Speckled Pecker and Boner, Boat people Rick Schroeder, Blow Job, and FNG Al, along with FNG’s Megan, Doug, Michael Conrad, and Missing Tutu from the Palau hash on his first Hash in Saipan), as well as long missing Hash Dash ,Princess, Hajji Peewee, Acute Angina and Wee Wee, and Pegasus. Once the box was announced everyone headed north and parked near the Big Blue above La Fiesta San Roque.  The box was about 100 yards off the road on the golf course in the rough.  The hares gave special instructions, which included a warning about bees.  The instructions also warned that there was a lot of ribbon out there, and not to follow anything but NEW orange ribbon. Then they  were off.  Abbott and Costello brought 3 dogs (which they worried about on the entire trail), and Kramden explained what a real hash dog was (Brandy/Ranger).  The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s and then waited with everyone else for the 10-minute head start.  After the countdown, the pack was off and most of them checked left at the checking.  The trail continued on the road behind the golf course, There were a couple of checking’s which took the stupider hounds on a wild goose chase into the quarry, but the Tyrant found true trail into the jungle.  But, he kept going straight on the road and ran out of trail.  The RRB’s got to the jungle trail and found the on on’s and that was how the Tyrant got to the middle of the pack.  The trail meandered up the one side of the spine of Fanuluchuyan, a long slow climb, with lots of vines and damp roots, similar to last week, but not so steep.  We also got to see lots of caves and WWII flotsam along the trail. After the trail flattened out a little, we came to the “EYE” which would take us around the beehive.  Everyone understood this except Phlegm Phatale and Missing Tutu who went missing tutugether.  Doug Stuart was with them to a point but then got smart and went back to the “EYE” and true trail. It seems they followed ribbon they were not supposed to, and ended up at the Laderan Tangke trailhead, and then back to the box. The trail then started heading up again and then popped out on the familiar bluff overlooking Bird Island. There were so many rent-a-car tourists flying around that corner that several times we had to shout to the hounds coming out of the jungle to watch out for the cars.  Eventually everyone came in (or was brought in from the box when the vehicle run was done), and Ollie got a fire going.  Claymore was assigned RA duties since Dog Leg had to do some payback to people who had attended his wedding.  Because there were so many ersatz hashers, the Tyrant piped up religion and then started even when the crowd kept chatting, showing absolutely no respect for the vessel.  The hares were called forward and blew smoke up each other’s Asses.  The visiting hasher Missing Tutu came up, followed by the FNG’s.  One of them, Megan, is the sister of Minnie Pearl.  Kramden approached her at the BOG parking lot and said he was sorry that MP was her brother.  She is a food scientist (read that food taster) for the REAL TACO MAKER! Her husband Doug was also there.  Al the Sailor and Michael the Docta Docta came up and did not embarrass themselves. Next the surprise gifts for the Tyrant’s birthday were handed out including the squirt guns, which were put to good use by the 10 year old Blow Job.  Next, Chris Freiyling was called up to be christened Stanley’s Bitch for all the abuse he was taking from the esteemed Congressman. Some attempts at humor were tried and some tales from the trail were also told.  But eventually, the short attention span crowd got the best of the Tyrant and he retired the vessel.  The area was policed and Swing Low was sung.  The assembled headed to Hamilton’s, or someone else’s house (not a real hasher).  The Tyrant of course, went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD

Are you afraid to attend the Interhash in Goa, India for fear of being nuked by the Pakistani’s.  Well the Maui Hash House Harriers are planning a Interhash for all you nuclear faggots.  Visit the site below for more information.
http://www.geocities.com/fewx_jacob/Mauihashhouseharrier.html

Africa InterHash 2003! Diani Beach, Kenya, from May 1st to 4th. The Registration Fee is $115 until October 7th ($30 for under 17's). On top of the Registration Fee you'll pay $43 per night for all-inclusive accommodation. That's all the Tusker and goat you can stuff down yourself for 3 straight days! www.africainterhash2003.com

THE YEAR 2002 & 2003
MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             HAJ CLAYMORE
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE:  ANGLEO PEPPERONI
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
928       8/31     GINGER ANAL
929       9/7       OPEN
930       9/14     BUSTER BROWN
931       9/21     OPEN/FULL MOON
932       9/28     HAJJI PEE WEE
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Although it was a huge crowd there on Saturday, there were so many people who hardly ever run.  It was nice to see them, but I sure wish we could get more commitment.  Even this week we are not sure that we have someone to set the trail since Leave It has decided to Leave It hanging without letting anyone know if he is going to set trail or not.

Fortunately, there are people like Dog Leg and myself who can come up with some kind of trail at a moment’s notice (who still actually show up every week) in case he does not show up.  But I long for the good old days, when we knew if a certain hasher was going to set trail (Like Pinoccular) that we were in for a treat.  Or if another certain hasher was going to set trail (like Claymore) it was going to be a fuckiest run.  Now we do not even know if there will be hares.  Shame on those of you who are chosen, but refuse to do your duty.

CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

Mr. & Mrs. Dave and Tongue on Tit Weil.

The Tyrant’s triumphant return was marred only by the fact that Ciega had something better to do on this day.  Otherwise, we had 3 FNG’s, Maki Ono, Masataka Hattori, and Yuko Hattori, (who Miharu made come in the absence of Kowpaddy), we had hares from the week before re-haring. Since it was a Kowpaddy inspired run, no one was surprised that the box was Hamilton’s (and I don’t think anyone was surprised where the on home was either).  Salt Pieter also returned from a long absence.  Also the Red Squirelless Nuts was there.  The assembled headed to Gualo Rai and Hamilton’s graveyard and Bar & Grill.   The hares gave special instructions, (toilet paper and white ribbon) and then took off.  The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s and then waited for the 10-minute head start to elapse.  After this the pack took off to the main road.  There was no checking, so the pack went up hill, following on on’s all the way.  The trail headed to the top of the road and then left, into the driveway of one of the no tell motel roads.  The trail also passed a new youth center, which is buried, back in the old Japanese village located here. The trail then headed up the dirt road and then into one of the most beautiful bamboo groves that is still alive and well.  The trail then began a long, slow, climb up to the top of the ridgeline that runs behind the village of Gualo Rai.  Because of the enormous amount of rain that had fallen in the previous weeks, the trail was moist and slippery.  This area is known as As Palomo.  There were also lots of those vines that are as thick as wire cable and seem to always be right at ankle height.  But according to Sir Isaac Newton, what goes up must come down, and soon the trail leveled out at the top of the ridge.  The top of the ridge is called Laderan Taman.  From here the trail was literally down hill the rest of the way.  Most of the downhill was not too bad, but there was one particular 50-foot stretch, which, by unanimous opinion of all the hounds, should have had a rope.  However when confronted with this thought, the only hare on duty (Buster Brown) said, “everybody made it, so you did not need a rope”.  Eventually, the slippery, muddy trail came to the access road that goes to Christmas Ridge, and then a checking took the pack down to the little clearing above the apartments.  Eventually, everyone made it in and the newly installed fire master Oly started a fire.  Balls of Steel had to leave early to pick up her husband whose flight the day before was cancelled.  Then the Tyrant whistled up religion (since the pipe was not to be found) and the hare called forward.  Once BB had explained why he was alone and how his bride injured herself on the part of the trail where no one needed a rope, the FNG’s were called forward.  The first one said the second one made her come, and the second one said his wife made him come, and the wife said Miharu made her come.  Sure wish I could have been there to see that.  Next the Tyrant and RA Dog Leg tried to get people to come up and do courtesies to the run, or tales from the trail.  From some of these tales came christenings for Wet Dream (Rob Carruth) and Body Snatcher (Suzy from the Hyatt).  Kowpaddy , who had been WORKING (read that drinking on a fishing boat) all day, showed up and tried to keep from becoming too obnoxious.  Through more coaxing from the Tyrant and RA, a few more people got up and did courtesies.  Eventually no one else got up so the Tyrant called for policing the area. Swing Low was sung and the assembled headed to Hamiltons.  The Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
Are you afraid to attend the Interhash in Goa, India for fear of being nuked by the Pakistani’s.  Well the Maui Hash House Harriers are planning a Interhash for all you nuclear faggots.  Visit the site below for more information.
http://www.geocities.com/fewx_jacob/Mauihashhouseharrier.html

THE YEAR 2002 MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:      HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                         DOG LEG
AAAARA:             HAJ CLAYMORE
FIRE MASTER: OLY
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:      CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE:  ANGLEO PEPPERONI
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
926       8/17JORDASS & FARTACUS
927       8/24     LEAVE IT
            8/22     FULL MOON OPEN
928       8/31     GINGER ANAL
929       9/7       OPEN
930       9/14     BUSTER BROWN
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

Editorial

Greetings and it is good to be back on Saipan and back among the blessed.  I enjoyed seeing my folks, and my two older daughters, and my cousin and her family.  I even got to visit some other “clubs” that I belong too that have to do with another one of my other isms.  I am after all a Hashaholic.  All of that traveling just reinforced the fact that Saipan is my home and this is where I belong.

I got an email from Tongue on Tit and she will be getting married tomorrow (our time).

Regardless of the controversy that happened after the LBFM’s left, I liked the both of them, not because they had vagina’s, but because they were hard core hashers and they knew what tradition is all about.

CONTACT CIEGA.  IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.  BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.  GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.
MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO. UNLESS OF COURSE YOU FIND IT TOO INANE.!!!!!!

 31 very occasional Hashers, apparently with “nothing better to do”, crawled out from under their rocks for this trail, which had begun as a “West End Bender & Olie” run, but had somehow become a “Ciega” run.  Among the surprising returns were hounds ranging from M&M Man to Abbot and Costello, and (gasp!) Haj Peewee and Acute Angina, who brought her Mom and her friend “Captain Bill”.  Even former residents Zaan and Chicken Pops were on-hand.

The Box was announced as the Saipan Health Clinic, and everyone departed with no attempt at carpooling.  Once there, the box was delineated behind the clinic, the Hares gave their special instructions, and were off.  Dog Leg was required to ‘splain the instructions to skydiver David (Bully), who was the first FNG in a month.  Blowjob and Crapper Don also arrived during this time.  After much catching up among all the former Hashers, the clock ran down and the pack was off.  Numerous checkings effectively split the pack throughout Chalan Kiya, but true trail ran around to the north side of the village, in towards the hills.  A checking near the end of this road took everyone across someone’s front yard, and into the boonies leading uphill towards San Pedro Chapel.  This was part of last year’s “Erection Run” and was still fairly open.  The slowness of the wheezing, gasping pack made it possible for once to actually look around and appreciate the very tall trees in this part of the jungle.  One of the wheezers and gaspers was Red Squirrel, who also turned out to be a puker.  So, off she went back down the hill with Beaver Trail to climb into her car and search for the On-home.  Eventually the hounds stumbled into the open and crawled up the last slope to the chapel, where the trail led back into the boonies below Haj CLD’s old apartment.  There were a few checkings in here that managed, again, to effectively keep everyone together.  After passing some old concrete remains, the trail came out onto a boonie road above the quarry, past some nasty-sounding dogs, and down onto the main Kannat Gardens road.  A checking took the trail across the valley and up a steep boonie road, where a checking-less direction change led off into the boonies.  The boonies through here were quite nice, with lots of big trees and coconut palms.  However, the trail continued to lead uphill, and this is where many of the hounds began to crap out, especially those who don’t often Hash.  And to make it worse, the trail exited at the base of someone’s mansion, requiring a climb up 2 ½ stories of concrete stairs.  Hash men who ordinarily would appear to be quite “manly” were seen crawling these steps on all fours.  Once on top, however, it was a short run down a coral road to Morgan’s Bluff, a property with a commanding view of all of As Lito and southern Saipan.  This was obviously not overlooked in WWII, as there were remains of several gun emplacements and bunkers near the on-home.

For the first time in weeks, club soda was available and this made all the difference for the hounds who had sweated it all the way up the two climbs.  A vehicle run was dispatched soon after most of the pack was in, but due to the aforementioned lack of carpooling, not everyone was able to be accommodated (even though Olie’s Toyota truck was loaded to at least twice its maximum capacity.  Steel does have its limits.  Ask me, I know what can happen).  After the last of the hounds had struggled in, it was a long time before religion commenced.  In the time between, Hulkus Maximus and Blowjob were assigned to build a fire, but Olie stepped in and took over to actually get it started.  For this, he was later named Firemaster, to replace the departed Elvis.  After much deliberation among the choices (Kowpaddy, Pee Wee, Blow Job, M&M Man), Dog Leg and West End Bender were selected as stand-in Tyrant and RA for the evening, and religion was begun.  The Hares talked some nonsense about how much work they had put into the trail, and Ciega told everyone how wet she had gotten.  Next, visiting hasher Shadow Snatch was called up, despite her own protests and those around her who insisted she’s still a Saipan Hasher. (How?) The FNG David was called up next, whom “All of the Above” had made come, and who had belied his beer-drinker appearance by keeping up with the FRBs for the whole trail.  After that it was like pulling teeth to get anyone else to come up to tell jokes or courtesies, so the Tyrant and RA began to call people up.  Eventually, things got going on their own.  Crapper Don gave a trip report from Thailand, where he was put on trial by the Pattaya Dirt Road Hash for the antics of NOWADS, which he knew nothing about until being shown the pictures while sitting on the ice.  Haj Peewee told his story from the 49-hour Ego-Challenge race in Australia last week, that he completed with Messiah, Fartacus, and St. Peter.  Red Squirrel’s Nuts was named “Red Squirrel’s Nuts”.  Olie was appointed Firemaster – don’t laugh, it’s an honorable job.  Really.  Hulkus Maximus was shamed for losing the Beerboard at the Full Moon (which he later found).  A few jokes were told, some of them good, all of them tasteless.  Eventually the Tyrant was forced to retire the vessel, but the crowd refused to go home, and an amateurish rendition of “Alouette” was performed, led by Blowjob and Beaver Trail.  The area was policed and Swing Low sung around a darkened fire that had already burnt out.  Most of the crowd then departed to Hamilton’s.

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan    U.S. $7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM                          Haj, F. Kramden, Sir!!
RA:                                          Dog Leg
AAAARA:                               OPEN
FIRE MASTER                      Olie
HASH CASH                         Ciega
TRAIL MASTER                    Hajji Pee Wee?
DLMM TECHNICIAN            Dog Leg
HASH SCRIBE                     You know….
REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE.  IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE, AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW YOU THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

CONTACT CIEGA TO SIGN UP.  IT IS A HASHER’S DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE A HARE, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS
RECEDING HARE LINE...
925      8/10     Kowpaddy (?)
926      8/17     Fartacus & Jordass
FM76  8/22     OPEN (Thursday)
927      8/24     Leave It (?)
928      8/31     Ginger Anal
929      9/7       OPEN

EDITORIAL

Does anyone read this?  Hello …. Echo……

Man steals watermelon
Saipan Tribune, 18 July 2002
An As Lito farmer complained that a man who threatened him with martial arts stunts stole a watermelon from his farmhouse Tuesday afternoon.
The unidentified suspect drove away from the farm in an old jeep with four female passengers, Public Safety spokesperson Lt. Pete C. Muña reported.
The farmer, Xingfen Li, 36, said he first saw the suspect park his old jeep at the roadside of his farm.
The man shortly approached the farmhouse on foot and told Li to: “Give me watermelons.”
Without waiting for the farmer to reply, the suspect allegedly took two from the pile. Li reportedly warned the suspect against taking the watermelons, saying that they already belonged to somebody.
When the farmer went after him to grab the watermelons, the suspect allegedly turned and started to execute what the victim described as “Bruce Lee moves.”
After the exhibition, the suspect returned to his car and drove off.
The victim told police he managed to retrieve one of the watermelons from the suspect.
The farmer noted that it was not the first time that the suspect obtained watermelons from his farmhouse without paying. The alleged theft has occurred several times, Muña quoted a police report. (Marian A. Maraya)