Hash Trashes 870

SAIPAN HASH TRASH
issues 870 - 879

RUN # 879          THE “KAGMAN ANIMAL FENCE” RUN
HARES:               FLOORSHOW & BOB SAGGET BOB SAGGET
BOX:                     KAGMAN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
ON HOME:        TANK BEACH
CASUALTIES:   BUSTER BROWN
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 0

25 hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam (two more, Beaver Trail and Enema, showed up later) including long lost Lemur, unmissed Candy Ass, and FNG Graham Walsh, who Pit Bull made come. Tammy Why Not came to the BOG just to say hello and get hugs from those who she has not seen in a long time. The box was announced, and very specific instructions given on how to get there. Once everyone was there, and in the box, the hares gave special instructions. There was ribbon, from the Mother Hash, and flour. Once they were gone, the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG. After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off in the direction that the lone running hare went, which was on portions of the old run way. Only about 20 yards from the box we ran into our first O which meant that within 50 or so feet the trail would go off in some direction. The trail went straight. The trail jerked us all around the pavement of Kagman III but eventually went into the jungle across the street from a bunch of barking dogs. From here the trail was a wonderful walk in forest. There were lots and lots of thick vines (almost like skinny bamboo) and there was quite a bit of up and downhill walking. After a while, there was also a great deal of lime stone forest and lots of crawling through, between, and on top of rocks. At one point early on we were in a large pass, which had a whole bunch of old Japanese beer bottles littering the bottom. And boy was it slippery. Those of us who are slim and flat-chested worried about those in the back who might not make it through some of those cracks. According to Floorshow (who spoke about it later on) we were very close to the last resting place of HASHimoto, the bones from some of the Arachnifloorsex runs. Somewhere in here, Buster Brown grabbed on to a tree branch, which broke, and when he reached down to break his fall, he got jabbed by a punji stake and broke his thumb. The trail continued through some pretty thick and winding jungle until we reached a road and popped out through some more houses. The pack went past a few more houses, past a Bangladeshi who was pointing in the direction he thought the hares went, and then back into the jungle. Now as we headed down the trail we could hear the roar of the ocean. Soon we came to a clearing that has the much-feared Kagman Electrical fence and lots of barbed wire. The trail went along this fence until it came to the Kagman III solid waste transfer station (or at least where some of the residents throw their garbage), and the beer truck. After a short hop down the road and we were at Tank Beach. A vehicle run was done and Ciega left to go to a party for Tripper Gory. Once everyone was in, no one noticed (NOTNOTNOT) Pit Bull going into the water in her itty bitty bikini. Soon the fire was roaring and the flag was flying and the Tyrant piped up Religion. In the absence of the oft-missing Hajji Peewee, Dog Leg once again did duty as the RA. First the hares came forward and talked about how we were supposed to have come to the On Home via the ocean, but with the 10-15 foot seas, this was not possible. Next the FNG was called forward and talked about how he is training dogs and customs agents the fine art of snorting drugs. Then we had courtesies and jokes, and eventually we dragged all the backsliders down to the front to pay the penalty for missing a hash. There was a challenge put out for hares for the Full Moon run which will be held on Tuesday October 2, 2001 at a time and place to be put on the listbot later on. Soon the Tyrant called for policing the area, Swing Low was sung, and a whole bunch of people went to Hamiltons. The Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
OCTOBER 6 NAIVASHA RELAY HASH NAIROBI KENYA
OCTOBER 12-14 Biloxi MS
OCTOBER 12-14 HOUSTON 1200TH
OCTOBER 19-21 MOSCOW 1000TH

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:   HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                       HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA:            DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:     CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: BAKSHEESH JONES
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
881         10/06      JORDASS
882         10/13      DOG LEG
883         10/20      CIEGA
884         10/27      MR. HAPPY POCKETS
                             HAPPY HALLOWEEN
885         11/3        HAJ CHICKEN LIL DICK
886         11/10      CLAYMORE (BANKERS CIRCLE
                             JERK)
887         11/17      LAPROBE
888         11/24      HAJJI PEEWEE
                            LUCKY CHINESE WHORE RUN
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

As I stood watching the huge waves crash against the reef at the beach this past weekend, I realized that some day, long after Bin Laden and Kramden, and all of us are gone, the ocean will still be crashing on that reef (unless according to Dog Leg the nuclear holocaust soon to follow boils away all of the water). And the fire that we built will be dug up centuries from now and people will wonder what sort of civilization lived on that beach. Kind of makes everything that is happening now, as tragic as it is, seem relatively insignificant in the scheme of things.

GOD BLESS AMERICA. GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.
OUR CONDOLENCES TO ELVIS, WHOSE MOTHER PASSED AWAY ON SATURDAY OUR TIME. BY KNOWING HIM I KNOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY SPECIAL PERSON.
WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG.
WE MEET AT 3:30 P.M. (until MARCH 2002)
HASH BULLETIN BOARD
PRAYPRAYPRAYPRAYPRAY FOR A QUICK RESOLUTION TO THIS HORRIBLE TRAGEDY.

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

RUN # 878          THE “FULL MOON REDUX” RUN (after 9/11)
HARES:               BUSTER BROWN AND PINOCCULAR
BOX:                     KALABERA KOW FARM
ON HOME:        THOUSAND MAN KAVE
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 5

31 hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam to run (or re-run as the case may be) a Buster Brown and Pinoccular run. The pack included 3 Nubile FNG’s who were Crystal, Carlin (who later became Sinderella), and Vangie. 3’s Company also showed up after years of not hashing as well as M&M man and Birdie Carpenter. When the box was announced as .3 of a mile past Kalabera Kave, everyone who did the full moon run a couple of weeks ago had a BAD FEELING. But we all headed there. Once inside the box, the hares read us a poem and said that there would be different colored ribbon and then they argued about whose trail to follow. After they left, the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the 3 FNG’s. Once the 10-minute head start was over, the pack was off, past a checking in front of the box, to the gate at the road. Here we found two arrows pointing in opposite directions, with the letters “BB” in one direction and “PP” in the other. The pack split into two groups with Mr. Happy Pockets and Tyrant going left. There were plenty of on on’s but eventually we ran into the on back. There was also an on back in the other direction in front of Kalabera Cave. The pack re-grouped at the farm and followed the checking in to ankle dip cow shit mud, or what is known in most hash circles as Shiggy. It was here that Carlin lost her shoe in the crap. MHP, Kramden, and Dog Leg led the pack in through lots more “land mines”, and eventually came upon a herd of cattle who scattered in the face of this horde of humanity. The trail meandered through this cattle ranch and eventually came to an on back (the entire pack had missed two checking’s which were carelessly hidden in the brush along the trail), which was on a gate near a pigsty. The pack turned around and went back to the last checking. All except Pussy, Kramden, Dog Leg and Dr. Lamar. This group went through the fence and headed out towards the main road. They popped back on to the main road and then flew to the Water Cave property (which the Tyrant knew had been the On Home for the Full Moon Run). They looked around for pallets but found none so went back to the road and back to the box. A second group, Messaiah and Floorshow also ran on there own trail and arrived just before Kramden. In the mean time, the rest of the pack followed the trail and looped around to the south and eventually popped out on the road near the entrance to the Water Cave. While all this was happening, the 4 FRB’s (who were now RRB’s) arrived at the box. All but the Tyrant went back on the true trail. Kramden said, “let them know I went to Bird Island”, and then headed north on the road. Just past Kalabera Cave he ran into Pinnocular who was driving the beer truck. “ON HARE!!!”, he shouted but there was no one to hear. He thought for a second and decided that since all of the coolers were in the truck, and all the accoutrements as well, this WAS the on home and he would not be Chariot Riding if he jumped in the back. So he unfurled the American Flag and began singing “God Bless America” which was actually heard by some because of the echo off of the cliffs. Eventually, the hounds that ran true trail showed up and the first one in was one of the FNG’s named Crystal. A couple of vehicle runs were done and the fire was started. An American Flag was draped on a tree behind the beer board. Ciega began to pass out candles and before Religion was started, we had a moment of silence for the victims of the tragedy in New York and Washington DC. Then Religion was piped to order and the hares were called forward. Once they were done, the FNG’s were called forward and Carlin was named Sinderalla for losing (and finding her shoe) and for being a sex therapist. Once the FNG’s were done, courtesies were called for and many people got up to talk about the run and everyone was just on this night. There were many tales from the trail including one about Laura Arriola pouring Ginger Ale on her butt to clean something so we gave her the name Ginger Anal. And when Mary got up to say something, she made a comment about her husband and we named her Pussy’s Whip. (We know who wears the panties in that family). Tonguecicle kept getting up and doing down downs and we thought she might fall down down near the end. (Although on the way home she did throw up up several times). When the backsliders were called up, everyone got up and did their duty. Eventually it came time for shoe down downs for Caleb (but after seeing what we ran through, no one would drink out of those shoes so we used the vessel). There were many people who got up to bid this erstwhile hasher good by. Mostly Religion was a valve to release the tension of the week. And it seemed to work, because everyone had a really good time and we all felt really good about being alive and being together. Soon the Tyrant called for retiring the vessel, policing the area, and Swing Low (including the Scooby Doo version).

Everyone headed to many different places, but as usual the Tyrant went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:   HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                       HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA:            DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:     CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: ALADDIN LAMP
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
880         9/29        ENEMA
881         10/06      JORDASS
882         10/13      DOG LEG
883         10/20      CIEGA
884         10/27      MR. HAPPY POCKETS
                             HAPPY HALLOWEEN
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

During the candle light ceremony and moment of silence before Religion, it occurred to me that everyone around the fire was not American, or Filipino, or Canadian, or whatever. We are Mankind. We are all the same. That is what hashing is all about. We are hashers first and foremost. It does not matter where we come from or who we are (unless you are part of mis-management). It only matters that you come out every Saturday afternoon to take part in some physical exercise, some socializing and witty repartee, and some sophomoric hi-jinks and insanity. Hashing has no nationality. And I believe that everyone around that fire on this past Saturday night, grieves as we grieve, and is saddened, as we Americans were saddened. And not just for the tragedy that happened in New York and Washington on September 11. But for the tragedy that is sure to follow in the coming months.

GOD BLESS AMERICA. GOD BLESS THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS.

OUR CONDOLENCES TO ELVIS, WHOSE MOTHER PASSED AWAY ON SATURDAY OUR TIME. BY KNOWING HIM I KNOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY SPECIAL PERSON.
WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG.
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)
HASH BULLETIN BOARD
PRAYPRAYPRAYPRAYPRAY FOR A QUICK RESOLUTION TO THIS HORRIBLE TRAGEDY.

RUN # 877          THE OZZY SPIC RUN (before 9/11)
HARES:               WEST END BENDER AND RAT
BOX:                     ABANDONED HOUSE ON THE BEACH
ON HOME:        POWERS/PALACIOS BEACH
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 5

About 30 hashers showed up at the Bank of Guam. A day that was BEFORE the times began to change. Burning Bush, Vanessa Ince (who drove the Beer Truck) and Red Squirrel returned from a long absence. There was one FNG named David Tentser, whose sister made him come. Once the box was announced, and instructions about how to get there (across from Bus Stop # 8), everyone headed to the empty lot. Some not so smart women drivers (an LBFM and a LWRHFM) got their cars stuck in the mud. But several hash men helped them to get the cars out. Everyone was directed to an abandoned building that had lots of wasp nests in it but no wasps. The hares gave special instructions, pink tape and flour. The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG and then waited for the time to run out. The trail went immediately to the main road and a checking here split the pack. Most of the people went south towards Tanapag and a checking at the Mobil Station. The pack then crossed the street and went east into the Camacho compound, all except the Tyrant who went west into the village. A shout from the pack brought him back and the trail curved around into the back part of the village. This road is an access road to one of CUC’s Big Blue water tanks. The road runs behind the village and runs parallel to a creek called Sadog Mamis (which in Chamorro means “Sweet Creek). The road is covered with moss and gets very slippery. It is not traveled much but is made of concrete and there is not a lot of foliage on the sides. Pinoccular was the FRB this whole time and went into the creek bed even though there was no trail. Floorshow kept following the trail up the hill, but then we heard Pinoccular shout On ON (which really sounded like Oh No and we thought he had fallen down and could not get up). But he had found true trail. We all followed him into the ravine and then crossing the creek and up the other side. Here we went into the jungle and hugged the cliff line that runs below As Akina. We stayed along this cliff line, up and down, until we popped out on to a road. A checking at this road took us down to the main highway and another checking which took the pack south again. An arrow at the entrance to the Powers/Palacios driveway and hence to the beach behind. Claymore and someone else had flown directly from the box to the beach, but failed to catch the hares. Some, while others like Beerhead, did a vehicle run, and Jordass just walked up the beach to get their cars. Once everyone was in and Pinoccular had started a fire, the Tyrant piped up Religion. Dog Leg did the honors as the RA. The hares came forward first, and WEB thanked Rat for helping him on short notice. Rat got up and explained that it had been 9 months since he has run the hash. The FNG was called forward and did not embarrass himself too much. Some courtesies were done and some indictments (like the one against Pinoccular for not marking checking’s). Next the backsliders were called forward and one of the first was Floor Show. During his ramblings, the Tyrant noticed a blur coming out of the darkness and leaping on to Floor Show. It was Kow Paddy pulling a Berry Big. It was like a scene out of “Women In Love” with the two wrestling around, and only lacked the nakedness. That is until Haj CLD got naked and leaped over the fire. After this bizarre episode, there was much talk about Kow Paddy’s bizarre behavior, and how we could make him look bad on the yahoo site. Eventually this nonsense was over and the Tyrant called for policing the area. Swing Low was sung and then the fire was extinguished. The assembled were invited to the Tyrant’s secretary’s birthday party but most chose to go elsewhere. The Tyrant did go there for a while and then went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:    HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                  HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA:         DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:   CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: BALDER DASH
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARELINE
879         9/22        FLOORSHOW
880         9/29        MINNIE PEARL
881         10/06      JORDASS
882         10/13      DOG LEG
883         10/20      CIEGA
884         10/27      MR. HAPPY POCKETS
                             HAPPY HALLOWEEN
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

It was almost surreal watching those planes crash into that building in the states. It was surreal because it is so far away. Like it really has nothing to do with us all the way out here. But we who are Americans should take this as a personal affront. As if someone attacked members of our family. Living out here and knowing that the only way you can go anywhere is on an airplane, watching that dark specter crash into the tower (not realizing that there were human beings inside about to be turned into jelly) really put a shock in this old head. If you believe in prayer, please pray for the survival of the human race. The only good thing that has come out of this is that, no matter what horrible things happen in other parts of the world, no matter how bad someone makes us feel or how depressing the world around us gets, we can always go to the Bank of Guam on Saturday afternoon, and feel good about something. I love hashing.

Wow!!! What is wrong with Kow Paddy? I mean how long has it been since he has had sex? (Hasn’t he ever heard of masturbation or purchasing sex in Garbage Pan?)

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG.
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
ALSO, WE HAVE BEEN INVITED TO LENS II IN GARAPAN ON SATURDAY, 9/8 AFTER THE HASH. IT IS MY SECRETARY’S BIRTHDAY AND FOOD WILL BE FREE. BUY YOUR OWN DRINKS. HER NAME IS MARGIE CLACK.

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM
ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY THE TWO FORMER SAIPAN HASHERS BELOW, YOU CAN HAVE A FREE DRINK OF YOUR CHOICE FROM ONE OF THE COOLERS. (referring to an attatched photo)

RUN # 876          THE “OTHERS (or Blow Job Sucks)” RUN
HARES:               PINOCULAR AND ELVIS (AND BLOWJOB AND BUSTER BROWN)
BOX:                     KALABERA KOW FARM
ON HOME:        BIRD ISLAND OVERLOOK
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: -**
DLMM RATING: 0

About 25 hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam for the combined Hash and Full Moon hash, which was to be hared by Pinocular and Elvis. Included in this rabble was the long missing and apparently very lazy Shnozz. We also had two Red Dress Run Refugees, Whining Weenee and Rude Boy from the Agony Hash. There can be no other excuse for missing the hash. But there are two stories to be told. The first will be the trail as it was run. The second will be a story of treachery and anarchy so great, that it is almost unspeakable. The box was announced and the assembled headed in the direction of the Kalabera Cave. During the drive up to the box, Kramden and Shlong Thong (who have had 5 wives between them), gave Dog Leg and Phlegm Phatale advice about getting married. (THEY SHOULD KNOW, THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED SO MANY TIMES). {Meanwhile, in another vehicle, Blow Job and Buster Brown were having another conversation, which would have grave consequences for the hounds). Anyway, once everyone was in the box and the mosquitoes had started to do their handy work, the hares said that Arrows were 100%, and then they were off. The box was rather quiet (UNUSUALLY QUIET) since there were no FNG’s. Once the 10-minute head start was over the pack was off. A checking broke the pack up, and Rude Boy hit a very close on back to the left. The rest of the pack headed right towards Bird Island Overlook. The trail went straight out the road to an arrow at the Kalabera cave, which led nowhere. We then figured out that the arrows WERE 100%….false.

We continued on this run until the Tyrant asked, “This is not a Pinocular/Elvis Run, Has Anyone Seen Blow Job”? The trail continued out to the overlook where we found Buster Brown, moonlit sheepish grin, “HIDING” in plain sight by the outhouse. Once everyone was in, whining about what a sucky run it was, Blow Job slinked in and was accosted by the assembled. He had successfully hijacked the run from the hares. The Tyrant and Buster Brown went to get the hares at the REAL on home and explained what had transpired. When we got back to the “on home”, a fire was started, and the Tyrant piped up Religion. In the absence of Hajji Peewee, Dog Leg was called on to be the RA. The hares were called forward and Pinocular explained that Elvis was so mad he could not even speak in Russian. Elvis got up and said some horrible things to say to Blow Job. Then the “other hares” got up and explained how they had performed this anarchy (as it turns out at the urging of MHP and Haj Claymore). Next the visiting hashers were called forward and they gave great honor to the Saipan Hash. After the confusion, Dog Leg gave a trip report and told us about how he saw Miss Daisy, Suzuki Moon, and Sin Huevos while he was in Colorado. There were some jokes told, and some courtesies, but most people just complained about how fucked up the idea of stealing the run was. Religion was kind of fun and Kow Paddy had to be told to SHUT UP several times because he and Ladrone kept yakkety yakking. There was also some discussion about the Yahoo Groups and the blistering missives from Tongue on Tit and Chicken LiL Dick. Eventually the night was over and the Tyrant called for policing of the area. The fire was extinguished, the coolers were carried up to the top of the overlook, and everyone headed to Hamiltons or Round Two. The Tyrant of course went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:    HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                  HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA:         DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:   CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: HONOR THE BALSAC
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
878         9/15        ENEMA
879         9/22        FLOORSHOW
880         9/29        MINNIE PEARL
881         10/06      JORDASS
882         10/13      DOG LEG
883         10/20      CIEGA
884         10/27      MR. HAPPY POCKETS
                            HAPPY HALLOWEEN
YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

It is frightening to know that just this week, the owner of said property gunned down a betel nut thief who was on property we had been given permission to run on. It is fortunate for us that Pinocular (although he ended up with some holes in his body from the incident) was able to secure that permission before one of us was gunned down in the prime of life. Of course we were not stealing anything from this farmer. But it does go to show you that it is getting ever more difficult to set trail on Saipan. It is getting to be more and more like the real world. And to my mind that is not necessarily a good thing. But please heed this warning, if you don’t have permission to run on a property that has a fence and a sign, don’t take the lives of your fellow hashers into the hands of someone who does not know what great people we are.

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG. WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)

IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY THE TWO FORMER SAIPAN HASHERS BELOW, YOU CAN HAVE A FREE DRINK OF YOUR CHOICE FROM ONE OF THE COOLERS.

RUN # 875          THE “IS THAT ALL THERE IS” RUN
HARES:               LEAVE IT AND LEAVE ITS BEAVER
BOX:                     JGSABLAN QUARRY, MARPI
ON HOME:        ACHUGAO
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: **
DLMM RATING: 0

About 25 hashers showed up at the BOG to run a trail set by Leave It and Leave It’s Beaver. There were several FNG’s (including Acute Angina’s cousin who has been servicing Pee Wee while AA is in post partum mending) and a friend (Bill) of AA’s mother from Florida, and another two sailor friends of Commodore Shit Bowl. The box was announced and everyone headed north to the quarry. Once everyone was in the box, the hares were off and the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s. After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off down the hill to the main road and a checking. FRB’s Shaku Hachi and Mr. Happy Pockets ran about ½ mile to an On Back and then turned around and followed true trail back towards the main As Matuis road. A long run on the dirt road to the paved road, and then a long down hill to the Wallace Highway took the pack to another checking at the Pau Pau Beach turnoff. From here the trail went down to the beach in front of the Nikko, past the now exposed WWII ordnance ossified in the coral in front of Camacho Equipment, and past Powers Palacios Beach, the Plumeria resort, and the Aqua Resort. The Trail then continued over some more coral, into some light boonies, and then on to the beach in front of some newly cleared land in Achugao. (Leave It’s Beavers land clearing company did the job). That was it. The end. No more running. A huge pile of wood from the land clearing was to be our bonfire this night. We also had Wee Wee Logan and mommy Acute Angina waiting for us at the On Home (before mean old Auntie Ciega comes and chases the baby away). A vehicle run was done and the fire started, and eventually the Tyrant Piped Up Religion. Pee Wee was the RA until he had to quietly slink away to take care of the baby so the Tyrant asked Claymore to be the RA since Kow Paddy (1..2…3…SHUT UP KOW PADDY) did such a poor job the week before. The hares were called forward and Leave It gave some lame excuse about revenge for getting crap for the last run he did (which involved hours of work and got the same ridicule he would receive tonight) and then Leave It’s Beaver got up and said she did all the work (AGAIN!!!). Next the FNG’s came forward and this is how we found out that Pee Wee’s cousin in law (who he made come) was taking care of business. A sailor boy and sailor girl got up and said that Shit Bowl made them come. Then the courtesies were called for and there were a few. There were also some discourtesies. As the night wore on, it got to be time for another Shoe Down Down for yet another hasher who is going back to the real world. Shit Bowl himself is going back to San Diego, and after the Tyrant gave him the Hash Admonition (to carry on the tradition), he drank from his shoe, and was followed by many, who would be sorry to see him go, (including the 2 sailors who were sucking up to him so bad you could almost hear it). After the many who would miss the Commode, Pie got up and no matter how hard Claymore tried; she would not show her tits. She also is leaving for the real world. But we did not know here well enough to miss her too much. The Tyrant called for policing the area and this was done. Then Swing Low was sung and everyone planned to go to Hamilton’s or maybe even Mom’s Round Two. The Tyrant of course went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:    HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                  HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA:         DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:   CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: STICK SERLING
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
877         9/8          WEST END BENDER
878         9/15        ENEMA
879         9/22        FLOORSHOW
880         9/29        MINNIE PEARL
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

Yet another hasher leaves Saipan for the wonderful city of San Diego and the Home of the Red Dress Run. We bid a fond farewell to Commodore Shit Bowl and wish him well. We are blessed to be out here where we get visits from such kind and wonderful people and we don’t even have to go to the states to meet them. They come right to our doorstep.

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG. WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)
HASH BULLETIN BOARD

SAIPAN INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL WILL BE SPONSORING A FUN RUN ON 9/8 AT 6AM IN MARPI. I THINK IT COSTS $15. CONTACT THE SCHOOL

ALSO, WE HAVE BEEN INVITED TO LENS II IN GARAPAN ON SATURDAY, 9/8 AFTER THE HASH. IT IS MY SECRETARY’S BIRTHDAY AND FOOD WILL BE FREE. BUY YOUR OWN DRINKS. HER NAME IS MARGIE CLACK.
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY THE TWO FORMER SAIPAN HASHERS BELOW, YOU CAN HAVE A FREE DRINK OF YOUR CHOICE FROM ONE OF THE COOLERS.

RUN # 874      THE “THE BIG SLIDE DOWN” RUN
HARES:               HAJ CLAYMORE, HAJ CLD, AND SHAKU HACHI
BOX:                     OLD TT REV AND TAX
ON HOME:        ARRIOLA MOSQUE PUMPING STATION
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: **
DLMM RATING: 8

30 hounds, including 3 FNG’s, the long missing Dry Hole, the long vacationing Beerhead and Pinnocular, Natasha, and Amory, and the even longer missing Mike the Balloon Guy, showed up at the BOG to see the also long missing Shaku Hachi (from the LVHHH) set trail with some of his old cronies. The box was announced and everyone headed up the Capitol Hill Road. Once everyone was in the box, the hares showed us that not only flour would be used, but also Claymore’s old foul weather stand by, shredded paper. The hares were off and during the 10-minute head start, the Tyrant’ splained the instructions to the FNG’s. Once the time was up, the pack was off to the main road. The FRB’s headed straight down the Capitol Hill Road to an On Back at the Post Office (the lack of a checking at the EMO intersection should have warned us). Back on to the dirt road that leads up to Toputchau Estates, and then a checking into the little shrine next to Ciega’s drive way entrance. Into the boonies at the back of her house and into the Schwarz compound (the box from last week) the trail continued out on to the jeep trail that leads to the small farm at the top of the cliff overlooking the eastern side of the island. An arrow took us down into the dump of the farm (old garbage) and then an almost vertical drop down the side of the cliff. The only thing we had to hold on to were vines, and branches, and roots of some of the pandanus trees. The trail continued down in this fashion for quite a way, until it popped out on the road that goes past Charlie and Debbie’s house. Then it was just a straight run, down the road, to the upper Lourdes Shrine Road and the pumping station and water tank. After some vehicle runs were done and the stragglers (brought in by sweeper Pinnocular) got in, a fire was started and the Tyrant piped up Religion. This would turn out to be a long Religion since; 1) we had back sliders, many who had attended the Agana 1000th and had trip reports; (a blacked out Buster Brown tried to set fire to someone who tried to set fire to his dick chair), (there was also outrage at the lack of Saipan on the map located on the back of the 1000th t-shirts); 2) we had visiting hashers; 3) we had FNG’s; 4) we had drunken sailors who would not shut up; 5), we had a shoe down down for one of the LBFM’s (Tongue on Tit) who is moving to Boise, Idunno. Needless to say it was really difficult for the Tyrant, and made even more difficult by the poor quality of the RA (Kowpaddy) who forgets that when you are the RA you are supposed to behave differently than when you are one of the heckling crowd. Alas, after all the nonsense (and the Tyrant was in rare form this night). There were tales from the trail and mud all over her backside got Natasha the name Shit Shute. Eventually it was time to call the departing princess forward for her shoe down down and her shoes are REALLY small. They would not even hold 12 ounces of beer. Nonetheless, many hashers got up to bid adieu to this hasher who had only been with us for the last 8 months (although she has been on Saipan for 3 years). But she certainly came into her own on the hash and one might say that, like the Tyrant when he was a young man, she was a Hash Waiting to happen. Anyway, the Tyrant gave her the admonition to carry on the tradition, and then called for those who will weep at her absence. The area was policed, and then someone called for Alouette and the Tyrant led the men in a rousing rendition, completely overwhelming the hash women who cannot hold or tune or remember a line. Swing Low was sung, (including the Special Ed version in honor of Chicken Lil Dick), and then everyone talked about where they would go for the On On On. The Tyrant of course, went home.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM:    HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA:                  HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA:         DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH:   CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: STICK SERLING
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m.
(3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
876         9/1          PINOCULAR, FULL MOON
877         9/8          WEST END BENDER
878         9/15        ENEMA
879         9/22        FLOORSHOW
880         9/29        MINNIE PEARL
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

Short and sweet. Once again we did not have far to run this time and it was mostly down hill except for those of us (WOOF WOOF) who were FRB’s in the beginning and ran almost to the Capitol Hill post office. The trail was well marked and well thought out. It is amazing how much the jungle changes after a heavy rain. And it was a wonderful night, and the stars actually broke through the clouds later on. After seeing nothing but gray for so many weeks, it was a pleasant surprise.

And now we say good-bye to a small but tough hasher in the form of Tongue on Tit. She may be small, but she did not take shit from anyone. She could stand toe to toe with the ugliest, meanest male hashers, and tell them exactly what she thought, even if she was quaking in her shoes. She will be missed.

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG.
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM ALSO, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO HUFFYPUFFY.COM AND SIGN ON TO THE NEW LISTBOT AT YAHOO.

RUN # 873          THE    “LOGANS RUN”   RUN
HARES:               HAJJI PEEWEE & CRACKERJACK
BOX:                     RANCHO SCHWARZ
ON HOME:        CHALAN GALAIDE
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: **
DLMM RATING: 0

30 hounds, including 5 FNG’s that Cracker Jack made come showed up on this hash that was to have been set by new (one day) mother Acute Angina. Cracker Jack held us together until it was time to go to the box on Toputchau Road. Once at the box we had to wait for the hare (and her infink son Logan (AKA wee wee). Shadow Snatch also showed up at the box but she was strictly there as a mid wife to Acute Angina. After the obligatory photo opportunity, the hares said the trail was only in flour and were off. The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s and then waited for the traditional 10-minute head start. The pack was off and headed into the property, away from the road, only to go in a few hundred feet and then come out right behind Ciega’s generator and out on to the Toputchau road. The trail went up towards the peak and then checked into some recently cleared land. The trail went on to the land, to the jungle behind, and then down some steep and viney hill side. Eventually we popped out on the Chalan Galaide road right near Postmaster Frank Camacho’s house. A checking here led the pack north up the road toward Ciega’s house. From here the trail checked on to the road that leads past Greg “Katsuma” Camacho’s old house and then into Joe Guerrero’s driveway. From there the trail went down to Joe’s house, where he was waving hello to everyone, and then into the jungle behind his house. The trail went down again through numerous vines and cool fern forests and then popped out on another piece of private property. A checking here took the pack north again, to nothing, so the Tyrant headed south to the main road. He ran past a checking, and after about 100 yards heard the voices behind him, “ON HOME!”. The hares watched him run past without a peep. Eventually everyone straggled in, and some people walked to their cars since it was so close. A fire was started with dried out ground wood and the Tyrant piped up Religion. Hajji Peewee stayed and helped and he and Crackerjack were called forward to do their hare down downs. They thanked each other for the hard work and Hajji Peewee talked about how Acute Angina worked on the trail until her water bag broke and that is why she did not run the run. Visiting Hashers were called forward and Shit Bowl’s boss from Japan (who had run in Baharain before) got up and said how different the hash was in Baharain. Next, the gaggle of FNG’s came forward. They are all nubies from SIS and I only remember Mike and Sarah (3 songs named after her) and I remember that many of them were from Missouri. After this courtesies were called for and many came up and congratulated the hares on a nice, short run. Jokes were told, courtesies given, and then Blow Job and Crackerjack sang us a song about owning land in Saipan. I forget what the words or the tune was but it was hilarious. More jokes were told and more courtesies. Some trip reports were done, (although I forget by whom and for what), and more courtesies. Eventually, the area was policed, and Andre the Giant gave the Tyrant a trash bag (helping to save the Hash money). When the Tyrant picked up the bag, all of the cans fell out since there was no bottom. He then asked how you make a bunch of Polaks fill up a trash bag twice. Swing Low was sung, and everyone decided to go to Hamiltons, Round Two, or Hard Rock. The Tyrant of course, went home.

AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, AUGUST 28- SEPT 2
WARSAW 1000TH, 9/28-30

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
875         8/25        LEAVE IT
876         9/1          PINOCULAR, FULL MOON
877         9/8          WEST END BENDER
878         9/15        ENEMA
879         9/22        FLOORSHOW
880         9/29        MINNIE PEARL
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

Short and sweet. I knew if they made the hash short enough I could come in first. Running with the Big Dogs (when all of the Big Dogs are off island) is really great. And when you come in first, you get what everyone else does. Snack, drinks, etc. So what is the big deal? Unless you come in first you will never know. WOOF WOOF!!

RUN # 872          THE “DARK MARK OF ZORRO” RUN
HARES:               MR. HAPPY POCKETS AND ELAINE PAPLOS
BOX:                     AIRPORT FIRE RESCUE
ON HOME:        LADDER BEACH
CASUALTIES:     NONE VISIBLE
RUN RATING: **
DLMM RATING: 0

23 hounds including Cracker Jack and one FNG, Adora (Lai), a semi well behaved Berry Big. The box was announced and Kramden raced up to the Airport to WARN the Airport Police so we would not be harassed running around the airport. The rest of the pack showed up and was directed to the old Japanese Administration Building. The hares finally got everyone in and it was already getting pretty dark. The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the lone FNG and after the 10-minute head start, the pack was off. The trail headed immediately on to the road in front of the Crash Rescue Building and then a checking took the pack south to the airport fence line. The trail then went straight along the fence line to the Dandan/Obyan Road. Lemur flew directly to Obyan and found nothing, then ran back towards Ladder and picked up the trail. Kramden was in the lead along the fence line, and then followed the fence line until it went to the other side of the airport. The trail then followed the fence line on the other side heading in the opposite direction. The trail stayed along the fence line and then an arrow took the pack into the old Martin 404 that belonged to Air Marianas. The trail then looped around the old airplane and back to the fence line. Kowpaddy had taken the lead by now, and headed out to the Obyan/Ladder road. Here an arrow took the pack north toward Obyan beach. At one of the cross roads, there was an On On and Kowpaddy followed this trail. Haj Kramden unfortunately did NOT turn here but kept going to Obyan where he KNEW the On Home had to be (NOT, NOT, NOT!!). He went all the way to the beach and found NADA! Turning around and heading back up, he ran into Ciega and West End Bender who made the same mistake. True trail actually was on the connecting road previously discussed, and then down on to the parallel farm road, which goes all the way to Ladder Beach. Only now this road is a cleared, 20 foot wide, coral topped super highway. The three flyers were the last ones in so the last of the coolers and bags were taken down to the beach. A vehicle run was done, and the last of the hounds got to eat burgers, which had already been cooking for a while. Once all of the hounds were back from the vehicle run, and the pallets were brought down to the beach, a great fire was started. The Tyrant piped up Religion and called on Haj Chicken Lil Dick to be the RA in the absence of Hajji Peewee and Dog Leg. The hares were called forward and Mr. Happy Pockets came up and gave great honor to his co-hare, a virgin hare, (he showed us the sheets!!), and also gave a trip report about his journey to the States and his running the hash in the states. Next Elaine got up and gave great honor to Happy Pockets for asking her to join him. The FNG was called forward next and did not embarrass herself. Happy Pockets returned and explained how Elaine wanted to step on Lemur’s instep to hobble him and she kept talking about it (she had a real hard on for this idea), so she was given the name Tanya Hardon. Tanya Hardon then got up and did a Palauan with Lemur (who says LBFM’S have to be girls??). Courtesies were called for and many people got up and talked about the run. There were some jokes told, and Kowpaddy was scolded on several occasions because he could just not shut his big mouth!! More courtesies and more jokes, including some great jokes from Elvis that no one else seemed to understand, except the Tyrant. Finally the Tyrant called for policing the area. Swing Low was sung, and the assembly all headed home since it was SOOOOOOOOO late. The Tyrant of course went home too!

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
HONOLULU H3 1000TH, AUGUST 17-18
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, AUGUST 28- SEPT 2
WARSAW 1000TH, 9/28-30

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
874         8/18        HAJ CLAYMORE
875         8/25        LEAVE IT
876         9/1          PINOCULAR, FULL MOON
877         9/8          WEST END BENDER
878         9/15        ENEMA
879         9/22        FLOORSHOW
880         9/29        MINNIE PEARL
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

I generally do not like full moon runs because I do not relish running in the dark. If I fall at my age I may really not be able to get up. But this was a fun run, and the moon did peep out from behind the clouds on several occasions. I even turned off the flashlight several times because it was so easy to see. But a hash run is a hash run, and I have never been on one I did not like. Hashing for me is a way of life.

RUN # 871   THE “LBFM” RUN
HARES:         TONGUE ON TIT AND PIT BULL
BOX:              F.E.B.C. WORK SHED
ON HOME:   G.T.C. BEACH, SAN ROQUE
CASUALTIES: WALKIE TALKIES
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 10

34 hounds showed up at the BOG to run what had been billed as the LBFM (little brown fucking machine or in the words of Chicken Lil Dick..”little brown fucking mistake) run. This included Spazz and Whining Weenie. The LBFM pre-run party sponsored by THE LBFM’S at the Plumeria hotel of course preceded this the night before. Anyway, the box was announced as the F.E.B.C. compound in Marpi. The two hares were wearing oversized tee shirts but it was obvious they had paint or something on their skin. The assembled headed up to the box and everyone was herded into a clearing between the antennae and the work shed. The hounds gave special instructions; pink and yellow ribbon, flour, dicks for hard trail and pussies for easy trail, poured chocolate all over their bodies, and then stripped down to their panties and were off. The Tyrant then ‘splained the instructions to FNG’s Andre the Giant and another LBFM. After the 10-minute head start the pack was off in the general direction of the hares. A cluster fuck ensued until someone ran towards the main access road and found a checking. Some FRB’s went out the main road, but Andre the Giant FNG and the Tyrant headed around the back of the compound. A trail was clearly marked into the jungle and here is where the trail began. The trail meandered around the upper lip of the ridgeline that surrounds the F.E.B.C. compound. The trail crept along one level of the cliff line and then past a little tree house in the jungle. The trail continued north along the west face of the cliff and then began to drop down. Here is where we found the first dick and pussy sign. This is where the men got separated from the wimps and faggots. The trail consisted of dropping down about 150 feet from elevation to elevation, using vines and roots, which were along the trail. There were some loose rocks, which almost hit a few people going down. The trail dropped down until it started to level out and then headed south towards the F.E.B.C. road. A sign at the edge of the road took us across the street to a HUGE beehive and more of the same kind of cliffs and dropping elevation. Soon the trail dropped down into a rain gulley and got even scarier. It was somewhere in here that the Tyrant lost his watch. Eventually the trail leveled off and then popped out of the jungle right behind the Marpi baseball field. A water stop here was a welcome relief. The trail wound behind the pool and out to the Country Club Road, to a checking which went down to the main highway. An arrow directed us across the street to a dirt road between the go kart track and the hotel. Down to the beach and the second boonies, which ran for about a ½ a mile, past lots of WWII junk. Eventually though the trail popped out just across the street from La Fiesta and just north of Pau Pau beach road. Down to the beach, a short hop past the Nikko, and the On Home at San Roque Elementary School. Most of the FRB’s got to the On Home just before dark. There was Pizza, and pork kabobs, and the regular hash fare. After most people got in, a vehicle run was done to get the first people’s car. While waiting for the vehicle runs and the rest of the slow people, the Tyrant told a few jokes to warm up the crowd. Eventually everyone showed up and the Tyrant piped up Religion on the newly repaired Bosun’s Whistle (which has a new pitch). The hares came forward first and gave great honor to each other and great dishonor to those who scorned them about their run. The visiting hashers were called forward and talked nice about the SH3. Then the FNG’s were called forward and did not embarrass themselves too much. There were many courtesies and even a trip report from Chicken Lil Dick who showed off his 4 or 5 tee shirts from hashes in Thailand. Then Chicken Lil Dick showed us the gift he brought for the FNG’s from Thailand, which was the tradition of making wankers sit on ice. He made both of the hares sit on blocks of ice while he talked about what they did wrong during the run. There were more courtesies, and some jokes, and then the Tyrant did the Archibald Assholebroke joke. Then the Tyrant and Hajji Peewee tried to get the crowd to get up and do more courtesies, and there were a few die hards, but no one wanted to get up and participate so the Tyrant and Peewee did Fuck A Duck. Then the Guamaniacs got naked and did some naked fire jumping. Zaan made a comment about Spazz’s ding dong, and so he rubbed it against her arm. Finally the Tyrant sat down in Claymores chair and eventually called for policing the area. Swing Low was sung and then it was too late to go anywhere except Hard Rock or Mom’s Round Two. The Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
AGANA HHH 1000TH RUN, AUGUST 11.
HONOLULU H3 1000TH, AUGUST 17-18
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, AUGUST 28- SEPT 2
WARSAW 1000TH, 9/28-30

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
873         8/11        ACUTE ANGINA
874         8/18        HAJ CLAYMORE
875         8/25        LEAVE IT
876         9/1          PINOCULAR, FULL MOON
877         9/8          WEST END BENDER
878         9/15        ENEMA
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

Too many cameras on the hash make people a little bit less comfortable, when they know that if they ever run for public office, their bare asses or breasts may show up on the tv or campaign posters. I think this is a topic for the hash listbot.

Great honor to the hares for all of the work, the preparation, the cooooollllll tee shirts and tank tops, the pre hash party.

RUN # 870          THE “HIGHER AND HIGHER” RUN
HARES:              HAJJI PEEWEE & BEAVER TRAIL
BOX:                    HOTEL NIKKO BOTANICAL GARDEN
ON HOME:        PAUPAU BEACH SOUTH
CASUALTIES: ENEMA’S ANKLE
RUN RATING: **
DLMM RATING: 3

28 hounds showed up for Hajji Peewee’s first run since he had his leg almost amputated. We got to see the return of Laura Arriola, Claymore made his sister Elizabeth come, and another Elizabeth, and Docta Docta intern from Canada mad herself come. The box was announced and the assembled headed to Pau Pau beach, where we parked, and then the long walk through the animal pens to the box on the walkway in the botanical gardens. Once the hares decided where they wanted to go, they were off, and then the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s. They listened attentively and then it was time to wait for the 10-minute head start to run out. At the end of the head start, the pack was off down the stairs, back the way we came, and then on to the beach. On On’s here took the pack south on the beach to a checking which looped east into the employee parking lot at the Nikko. From here the pack found another check on the main road, which split the pack north, and south. True trail was south towards San Roque village. Another checking at the main intersection of the village, took the pack up the road that loops around the San Roque Church. A checking here took the pack on the farm road towards Paradise Valley. Into the farm, past the stinking carcass of some animal that seems to have been there for years, and then into the gully. This time there were no hounds of Hell chained across the valley keeping the pack from going up (do you think that was just one of Pinoculars Dogphopia manifestations?). The trail stayed in the ravine for a while and then an arrow took the pack up to the right side of the valley and into an old cave and shrine with a huge piece of steel plate inside. From here, the trail went into the cave, looped up to the right around the opening, and into another cave just above. There were two skylights in this cave and the trail looped around to the one on the right, and then turned left and up over some other limestone rocks. The trail continued up the hill until it came out on a clearing where there looked to be a well or pump of some kind and a little shed. This opened up on to a seldom-used road that connected with another farm road above Camacho Equipment. Elvis and Enema were the two FRB’s but the Tyrant was close behind and at about the mid point of the downhill to the main road passed Enema who had twisted his ankle. The Tyrant asked if he was ok, and assumed that the “grunt” he received in return was a yes, so flew down the hill where he caught up with Elvis. A checking at the bottom of the hill and the road took the two FRB’s on a flyer to the Plumeria. However, Kramden waited long enough to signal to those behind that they should go in the opposite direction. The FRB’s went through the Plumeria and then on the beach and headed north. Just past Palacios-Powers Beach, they found an on on and two fisherman who described the woman who jumped out of a truck, laid some marks, and headed back into the truck. So now they were back on trail, passed the petrified ordnance that has melted into the coral, past the tree which blocked the access and where we had to “time the waves”, and to the on home at San Roque Elementary school. The stragglers soon arrived and everyone was treated to an almost Green Flash. Since the box was so close, most hounds walked or ran up the beach to get their vehicles. Once everyone was in, the Tyrant piped up Religion and called the hares forward. Hajji Peewee remarked on the number of Dick Chairs there were in the bag truck and was reminded that HE HIMSELF has a double. Beaver Trail thanked her co hare and then the FNG’s were called forward. It is nice to know that Claymore’s family feels the same way about him as we do, and although she had them, the Canadian Docta Intern would not S.U.H.T.! Courtesies were called for and there were some. Blowjob cooked the beans that Claymore had brought as left-overs from the night before. There were quite a few tales from the trail including some lie about the Tyrant tripping Enema and kicking him as he past. There were also several jokes told which made the evening whisk by at almost breakneck speed. Hajji Peewee even missed a NMTA meeting so that he could officiate at Religion. Eventually, the Tyrant called for policing the area and Swing Low was sung (including the Special Ed version courtesy of Blow Job). The assembled headed to Hamiltons or Round Two. The Tyrant of course went home.

AGANA HHH 1000TH RUN, AUGUST 11.
HONOLULU H3 1000TH, AUGUST 17-18
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, AUGUST 28- SEPT 2
WARSAW 1000TH, 9/28-30

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
873 8/11 ACUTE ANGINA
874 8/18 HAJ CLAYMORE
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

I have been to the area that we hashed on this past week, many times. But I had never been THROUGH the cave and up over the top before. It just goes to show you that no matter how long you hash, or how many times you hash, you will always find something new. Which is why I always say that the hash is like a microcosm of the universe or at least life. There is always something new, or something different that makes something old look or seem new.

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