HARES: MESSIAH AND SPLAT

BOX: BIRD ISLAND TRAIL HEAD ROAD

ON HOME: WING BEACH

CASUALTIES: HAJJI PEEWEE, TYRANT

RUN RATING: ***

DLMM RATING: 0

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

About 30 hashers showed up for Messiah’s birthday Run including FNG Massoud Karimipour, Pubic Defender Extraordinaire, and some visiting hasher, who now lives in Saipan, named Tom. Anyway, the box was announced as the Bird Island Trailhead access road and this is where the assembled headed. The hares were off and the only special instructions they gave were that we would only be following flour and there would be NO arrows. So when they left, the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the lone FNG. After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off, out to the main road. A checking here broke the pack up and then it was a pavement pounder straight to Bird Island Overlook. At this point an ARROW (I thought there were none) took us up the little hillock that leads to the Laderan Tangke Trail however, as we meandered along the trail towards the base of the trail it began to veer off to the right away from the trail. The trail continued through this lush lime stone forest and up and down the foothills, which lead up to the cliffs.

The hares took us past some old building foundations and even took us off trail enough to see some caves, which had been cut into the cliff line. Eventually the trail started to head down hill and before we knew it we were on the road, which runs behind the Marianas Country Club and golf course. A checking here took the pack south to another checking at the entrance of the Camacho Quarry. Here is where the trail began to get complicated. You see, white flour, on white coral dust, looks like white coral dust. We began to lose the trail. Some hardy hounds (Hajjii Peewee included, flew past this checking to another at the OTHER side of the JG Sablan Quarry and ended up at the Camacho Quarry looking down on the Tyrant and some other hounds who were looking for trail.

Once Peewee had joined these stragglers, he tried going into the quarry again from another angle and ran into some of the nastiest fire grass he (or the Tyrant, who followed him) have ever run into. It was so itchy it was like you WISHED that your skin could be peeled off. Anyway, having found the checking further south before, these FRB’s realized that they had just run this part of the trail backwards and so flew to the next checking and then on to another ARROW (I thought there were no arrows) at the small perimeter road which runs around the golf course. From here it was a straight fly to the main driveway of the golf course and a short hop across the street to Wing Beach. Because of the confusion at the quarry, there were some stragglers who had to be led out of the jungle by Claymore (who knows about being in the jungle after dark). Eventually this group made it to the On Home and Religion was piped up.

The hares were called forward and blamed each other for the arrows. The FNG was called forward, and to the horror of all the tree huggers in the group, broke an egg on the head of Messiah. It seems that Massoud had promised himself that he would NEVER, EVER, run the hash while he was in Saipan, but Messiah made him come. Next there were Birthday courtesies and jokes told and soon we saw people who had not been on the hash standing around the fire. Beaver Trail and Birdie got up and did a song about the Birthday Boy, and then more people got up and did courtesies honor to Minnie Pearl and Kanae who actually paid the 7dollars). Because it had been such a long run and everyone was tired, the vessel was soon retired and the area policed. Swing Low was sung and not one of the bottles of Tequila that the birthday boy and Splat brought was even opened. The assembled then headed in many directions including to the Chili Cook Off where erstwhile hashers Mr. Happy Pockets and Tongue on Tit were eating chili and getting hot for the bumping uglies, which is purported to have taken place later on in the evening. The Tyrant of course went home.< As an added attraction, I have attached an aerial photograph (courtesy of Floorshow), which also has what I believe to be the trail that we followed on this past hash.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, LABOR DAY WEEKEND SEPTEMBER 2001
MINNEAPOLIS HE SPEWATHON, JUNE 22-24
HONOLULU H3 1000TH, AUGUST 17-18
WARSAW 1000TH, 9/28-30

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA: HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: IRV CUPSIN IT

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
861: 5/19 BLOW JOB
862: 5/26 DOG LEG
863: 6/2 MIKE FINK
864: 6/9 SCHNOZZ
865: 6/16 GRABASS
866: 6/23 ELVIS
867: 6/30 Beerhead
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

Not much to about this weeks hash. It was long, and hard, and it went on a little too long for my taste. But I must be getting young, because most of the run I was up there with the BIG DOGS… YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR ARE WELCOME AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM. VISIT THE OFFICIAL SH3 HASH SITE AT WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM SEE TRAIL BELOW

HARES: HAJJI PEEWEE & STEPHEN SAMOYLOFF

BOX: ACROSS JULY 4TH RIDGE

ON HOME: SCHWARZ ACRES NORTH

CASUALTIES: TYRANT

RUN RATING: ***.5

DLMM RATING: 8

30 hounds showed up at the BOG, including 3 FNG sailors, to NO hares. We also said hello to the Long Missing Bush Fire and Bed Bitch Tasa. However, the ever-wondrous Hajji Peewee had everyone write a box down and the Tyrant pulled out "Toputchau" and we went to 4th of July ridge. Hajji Pee Wee asked Stephen if he would be a co-hare, and he declined. So HP asked him if he would at least carry the flour (DOPE!!!) and he agreed. Unfortunately, a huge dead and rotting hog carcass made the box untenable. So we started at a clearing across the street. After the hares finally explained the on home to the Beer Truck Driver, they were off. The Tyrant ‘splained the instructions Par, Dave, and another nameless squid. After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off. The hounds headed down the main road. There was a false checking at the Old Japanese Road and the FRB’s headed down. At this point the Tyrant twisted his ankle, and in trying to leap out of the rut fell chest first on to the road. Gus helped him up and he was off (not to feel the pain until later in the week when he thought he was having a heart attack). Another checking was at the road to Rancho Oji-san (or where Leave It used to live). Straight down the road into the farm and then into the jungle behind. The trail then proceeded to weave in and out of vines. It also began to start heading north along a cliff line. The trail went up and down, down and up, always hugging the cliff. Eventually we got to a really steep cliff line, and then up through a little hole made by foliage, and out on to the mesa behind Ciega’s house. The trail then began to peter out (not enough flour). So wise hounds just followed the jeep trail that went out to the place where we have had our Christmas Hash’s for the past few years. Here was the On Home. The Fire master and his assistant began the tedious task of starting a fire without burning down the entire hillside. This was made easier by the fact that the landowners had cleared the land with a backhoe. Of course the tree huggers began to argue about erosion and stuff but who gives a crap! A vehicle run was done when everyone (except Mr. Happy Pockets) was in. And eventually a search party went out looking for him. He straggled in just before dark. The Tyrant then piped up Religion and the hares were called forward. They had lost their shorts right near where we now stood since that was as far as they wanted to go running buck-naked. Next the FNG’s were called forward and they enjoyed the run. Courtesies were next and there were even some discourtesies and indictments for petty crimes. Poor Kaz laid close to the fire in misery and eventually got up to spew (away from the fire thank goodness). Not soon after this she and Bed Bitch left. There was joke telling by some of the FNG’s and during Lap Robes Monotony, I mean Monologue, Par the Swede called her a dick nut (whatever that means in Swedish). Pit Bull arrived and put some pep into the DLMM and then the very late and very loose (from one can of beer) Beerhead showed up and gave the old DLMM another boost. MHP wanted to re-name Inflatable Slut for something that happened at Hamiltons the week before (having missed the kitchen, Slut ate the leftovers of some Japanese tourists after they left the bar), but this was poo poohed by the elders. More jokes and eventually the Tyrant retired the vessel. The area was policed, Swing Low was sung, the fire was pissed on, spat on, and doused with the water from the coolers so that not even one small ember was glowing and then the assembled departed. Many people went to Hamiltons. It was still early enough. The Tyrant of course, went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, LABOR DAY WEEKEND SEPTEMBER 2001
MINNEAPOLIS HE SPEWATHON, JUNE 22-24
HONOLULU H3 1000TH, AUGUST 17-18
WARSAW 1000TH, 9/28-30

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ. F, KRAMDEN, SIR
RA: HAII PEEWEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOG LEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER:HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: FRAZIER THOMAS

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
860: 5/12 PUSSY
861: 5/19 BLOW JOB
862: 5/26 DOG LEG
863: 6/2 MIKE FINK
864: 6/9 SCHNOZZ
865: 6/16 GRABASS
866: 6/23 ELVIS
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

It certainly was a pleasure to run a nice, short run this past week. It certainly was nice to almost see a sunset (but the smoke and the dust have created such a haze a green flash is almost impossible). It was also nice to be able to host a couple of old salts (and one young salty Swede) from the U.S.S. Chancelorsville. I for one appreciate the self-sacrifice that these men do in order to maintain peace and stability in OUR world. (I don’t mean all that war shit in the middle east and Africa, that is NOT our world). But I am talking about Asia Pacific. I have always said that the thought of the pre-positioning ships (which are un-armed) sitting outside the reef make it possible for me to sleep soundly at night. That, and Inner Peace are all I need. Honor to the men of the sea, both civilian and military. They do the job so we don’t have to.

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR ARE WELCOME AT WOLF@SAIPAN.COM. VISIT THE OFFICIAL SH3 HASH SITE AT WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

HARES: M&M MAN & GRABASS

BOX: WIRELESS ROAD ABOVE CHEZ

LYNN KNIGHT

ON HOME: HIDDEN BEACH

CASUALTIES: NONE

DLMM: 5 +++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++

30 hounds, including 2 visiting Sailors

Matt and Twin Peaks from the U.S. NAVY, as well as the returning Tyrant (who had been traveling) came to the BOG for the hash. There was also one FNG who Tongue on Tit made come named Yukiko. The box was announced as Wireless Road above Lynn Knights house and the assembled headed there. Matt the Sailor had a case of Déjà vu because the last time he was here, this was very near to where the box was and he thought he was going to have a re-hash. The hares gave special instructions (but forgot to mention the yellow ribbon and the toilet paper on trail. They also forgot to buy a lot of flour). The Tyrant 'splained the instructions to the FNG and then we all waited for the 10-minute head start. After the time was up, the pack was off to the north toward Mt. Su Su. The trail ran straight and true until we hit a check which took the FRB's west to a backwards pointing On Arrow (all arrows were 100%), and the RRB' east to skirt around the base of the mountain. Another check took the FRB's (who caught up to everyone else) about 250 feet down into Paradise Valley. An On Back here sent everybody back to the last checking and the RRB's were now in front and headed east into some newly burned sword grass. From here the trail went directly in to one of the Talofofo tributaries and stayed there (except where for some inexplicable reasons the hares took us out). There was actually even some standing water in some of the places about midway down the gulley. The trail continued down into the ravine, down over slippery rocks and sometimes we had to go squatting under branches and leaves and things. But eventually we got out of the creek bed and up a small trail off to the right side of the gulley. Here most old timers realized that we were on the dead pig trail and about to pop out on the road above Hidden Beach. Grabass was sitting at the top of the trail waiting for us to come out. Grabbing our backpacks we headed down to the beach and snacks. A vehicle run was done (which took an hour round trip) and soon a roaring fire was going. The Tyrant then piped up Religion and the hares were called forward. They explained how they lollygagged on trail and had been caught by the some hounds. Next the visiting hashers were called forward. The Tyrant then called for courtesies and there were a few. Comments were made about the lack of flour on the trail. Some jokes were told by Mr. Happy Pockets who also gave a trip report from the Atlanta HHH. Next the Tyrant called for more courtesies but there were just a bunch of weasel dicked hounds who just sat around. Pinnocular came up and rambled on (with the help of translator Elvis) about how Dog leg had lost the commemorative plaque from the beach clean up and then showed it. Dog Leg and Floorshow countered with some other nonsensical stuff about the CIA and The KGB and then Mike Fink came up and made a comment about exposed labia and the men appreciated that. The Tyrant called for policing the area and Swing Low was sung. Everyone headed somewhere, and the Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, SEPTEMBER 2001
WARSAW 1000, 9/2/-30, 2001
REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: LUIGI SALAMI

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)
RECEDING HARE LINE
859 5/5/01 Messiah
860 5/12/01 Pussy
861 5/19/01 Mike Fink
862 5/26/01 Dog Leg
863 6/1/01 Blow Job
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

Although I cannot say that I hashed while I was in Australia, I did run into Tammy Why Not and she is doing well. I also got to be totally submersed in another one of my ism's. I attended a convention of people who are just like me. It was awesome. It was also nice for my wife and I to get away from the kids and everything else for a while, ALONE!!
If you have not gone to Cairns yet, you really ought to try it. The airfare is pretty reasonable and it includes 3 nights accommodations. Once you get to Cairns there are also lots of CHEAP travel agents that can get you to other parts of the world for not a lot of money.

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG. VISIT WWW.CNMI.NET AND TELL THE FORUM WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT PROSTITUTION IN GARBAGEPAN.
REMINDER: EFFECTIVE 12/9/00, HASH WILL COST $7.00
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

Hares: Loogey, Dog Leg, Piss Break

Box: Obyan

Home: Near Ladder

Casualties: Humor

RUN: ****

DLMM: 10 (see text)

Saipan Hashing began last Saturday with the Forbidden Island clean up. The SH3 has adopted Forbidden Island Beach and is committed to doing a clean up at least once per quarter. Volunteers met at the Kagman Community Center at 7:45 and spent the next couple of hours walking the trail down to Forbidden, picking up an amazing variety of garbage, including more combs than you can imagine and a huge navigation buoy hauled up the trail by Elvis and Pinnocular. The Hash was presented with a plaque by DEQ personnel and a good time was had by all (pictures at www.huffypuffy.com) except Leave It who got dehydrated when his kids stole his water.

Later that day, and after much bragging and fanfare by the Hares, the actual Hash commenced with the box in some stinking caves at Obyan Beach. About 30 Hounds showed up, not an FNG among them. Two Hares (Dog Leg & Piss Break) went left and one (Loogey) right. We all figured (incorrectly) that the right running Hare was the driver. Some of us guessed wrong that the left running Hares were headed out toward Naftan. A long false trail told us better.

The trail was basically a cliff line run from the end of Obyan beach to a clearing almost at Ladder Beach. Rugged and ragged coral and a couple of dips into the sea had many wimpy Hashers disinfecting themselves at the On Home.

At one point toward the end, where the run dipped down to a small beach, Dog Leg could hear PeeWee coming up fast. Courageous Loogey hid in the bushes. Dog Leg attempted a leap up the cliff to escape but hammered his knee into the rock and lost his flour. PeeWee got Dog Leg's shorts and beat him to the on home where he (PeeWee) was greeted by an incredulous Piss Break (driver).

Fink almost missed the On Home again after being led astray by a Hash Woman who seemed to enjoy running fast and often off trail. ("She passed me three times," a fellow female Harrier remarked.) Fink was rescued by Beerhead who somehow knew he'd exit the Boonies, find a road (his favorite territory) and run straight to Ladder.

One highly touted feature of the run was to be Easter Eggs "hidden" along the way with clever, humorous sayings inside. We found the eggs, but the clever, humorous sayings never turned up.

On the other hand, Elaine told us two Easter jokes that made up for the bad eggs. The one about Christ biting his nails was especially crude.

Two of the eggs turned up in Tongue On Tit's bra, resulting in the grossly inflated DLMM for this run. It was a real treat to watch the Tyrant and RA extract these eggs. Who would have thought this pair could ever be embarrassed?

Accuracy

We don't give a shit about accuracy. If you find errors in this publication we suggest you call the Victim Hot Line or your favorite shrink. Or, ask Elvis for a couple of shots of cheap Polish Vodka. That always works for us.

SH3 On the Web
http://www.huffypuffy.com

Receding Hare Line
858 28-Apr-01 Rat
859 5-May-01 Messiah
860 12-May-01 Pussy
861 19-May-01 Mike Fink
862 26-May-01 Dog Leg
863 2-Jun-01 Blow Job

Mismanagement

Tyrant/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA:HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: HAJ HUFFY PUFFY
Firemaster: PINOCULAR
D.L.MM Tech: DOGLEG
Hash Cash: CIEGA
Trailmaster: HAJJI PEEWEE
Hash Scribe: fink (stand in)

Editorial

Hey, guess what! Stuff that seems real funny when you're sittin' around with your buds late at night after a few beers doesn't sound nearly as clever the next morning. But, who hasn't regretted, too late, hitting the "send" button on that nasty e-mail message or wondered just what you were thinking when you brought home that homely thing staring up at you from the sheets one Saturday morning. But, Hares - get over it. You tried, you bombed, and you'll live....

The box, just past Big Blue in what must be a rubbish tip for those who can’t afford the official dump, was one of the stinkiest on record.

The went right out of the box straight up Radar Hill. A real pleasure to run a mile up hill in the blazing afternoon sun, wasn’t it? The first surprise was the ominous lack of a Check at the Laderan Tanki road. One of the FRB’s probably should have flown. Perhaps the Hares counted on us being too dead from running up hill to even try.

True Trail went behind the Radar Station and paused at an overlook where the Hares had provided a disposable camera for equally disposable self-portraits. Many of these are now posted on the Hash web site: http://www.huffypuffy.com.

Of course from there we went down, onto the road and eventually ended up at Bird Island Beach where Happy Pockets grilled burgers and dogs in a futile attempt to infect the Hounds with Mad Cow Disease. Claymore took more photos and had one taken of himself with Tongue on Tit who finally has that relief map of Tasmania just about right.

At religion we learned that Kow Paddy followed Dog Leg’s script to a “T” in his vessel abuse counseling with Betty Pig.

The it got dark and a Daisy Chain of Duendes (look it up in your Chamorro Dictionary) descended to the beach, their heads aglow. Satellite watch was a success, unless your eyes were glued to the backside of Tasmania.

We went home. Some people carried coolers up the trail and some didn’t.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, SEPTEMBER 2001
REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: fink (Stand In)
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
855 4/7 PeeWee (stand in)
856 4/14 Loogey
857 4/21 Haj M & M Man
858 4/28 Rat
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
Full Moon Hashes are great. I love it because it starts later and gives me more time to work on my yard all day long. Plus, it’s not so hot at the Bank of Guam. Plus, it’s cooler when you run and you don’t have to see the same old boring trails again and again because you can’t even see the trail. I think we should have a Full Moon Hash every Saturday. If you agree, please post a message of support on the Hash List Bot.
- Fink

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG.
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until September 2001)

HARES: CHICKEN LIL DICK & FLOORSHOW

BOX: CHEZ BOB SAGGET KAGMAN 3

ON HOME: TANK BEACH

CASUALTIES: NONE

RUN RATING: ***.5

DLMM RATING: 10

21 hounds including Mike Fink who promised to return, Dr. Samoyloff, and Gus the teacher, showed up at the Bank Of Guam. The hares insisted that we leave on time and most people showed up on time since this is the second week we started meeting at 4:00 p.m. The box was announced and instructions given. So the pack headed to Kagman 3, and turned at the 3 rocks stacked on top of each other, and found Chicken Lil Dick parked at a bus stop directing us in. The box was two containers lashed together with 3 large round windows (from a commercial clothes dryer) made into a neat little 2-bedroom house where Bob Sagget lives. The hares gave us special instructions, which were to follow only pink ribbon and flour. There were no FNG’s so the Tyrant just made small talk. After the 10-minute head start the pack was off. There was a checking right in the driveway and the pack headed out to the village. The trail wound around the village and little bit and then went into the jungle. From here, the trail meandered in some sparse jungle. We skirted the village in the jungle and then the trail began to start up hill. The trail started to get really slippery. The trail was well marked with flour and pink ribbon (just like the hares said), and continued to loop around. We began to skirt the cliff and soon got to the cave where "HASHimoto" used to live, (but whose remains have been moved). From here the trail went passed the fabulous crack in the rocks that gives you a cool view of Forbidden from a different angle. Eventually we got into some really cool limestone forests, which almost seemed to be man made. Soon we got to one of the limestone walls that we have been to before. A climb up the wall and then back on to the trail. Soon we popped out of the jungle and onto the cliff line near the Creosote On Home and the old railroad track and engine graveyard. Then the trail went on to the old road that leads out to the edge of this cliff and into someone’s back yard. The trail then went back on to the road and eventually through Bob Saggets back yard and then on to Tank Beach. Once all the hounds were in, a vehicle run was done. The healed Elvis started a great fire going and Hajji Pee Wee snuck away. The Tyrant piped up Religion, and was assisted by Dog Leg. First forward were the hares and they told a bunch of lies about each other. Next, Happy Pockets gave us a trip report about his trip to Hawaii and his visit with Arachnophiliac, Blow Hole, and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Next there were some feeble attempts at telling jokes. Then Beerhead and Mike Fink did a Palauan that gave all the boys a woody and got the girls all wet. Some more jokes were told and then the area was policed. Then the Tyrant called for Swing Low and we all headed to the Bank of Guam or wherever to eat dinner. The Tyrant of course went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, SEPTEMBER 2001
WARSAW 1000, 9/2/-30, 2001
REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: STARR BRITE

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)
RECEDING HARE LINE
855 4/7 MESSAIAH & SPLAT (FULL MOON)
856 4/14 LEAVE IT
857 4/21 HAJ M&M MAN
858 4/28 RAT
859 5/05 MESSIAH
860 5/12 PUSSY
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

This week on the listbot there was some talk about Marriage Encounter. I do not expect anyone who is single or godless to understand what it is like when your soul touches that of your spouse. You can never understand. But I have never steered you wrong before, and this is what I personally experienced on my weekend so many years ago. In fact, I am thinking of doing it again in November. No matter what YOU believe, I believe that there is a spiritual side to life. I enjoy the hash so much because it allows me to see nature, which to me is God Created, as a gift for my enjoyment, as well as the lives of YOU wonderful people. And it is that much more enjoyable when I can see Allslimers Mike Fink and Beerhead make out in public. There IS hope (besides Viagra) for me

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG. VISIT WWW.CNMI.NET AND TELL THE FORUM WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT PROSTITUTION IN GARBAGEPAN.
REMINDER: EFFECTIVE 12/9/00, HASH WILL COST $7.00
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until OCTOBER 2001)

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
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HARES: Ciega, Haj F. Kramden, Sir!

BOX: North end of Beach Rd. Pathway

ON HOME: North end of Beach Rd. Pathway

CASUALTIES: Hash attendance & cash

RATING: ¶ ¶

DLMM Rating: 0

A dismal 5 hounds showed up at the BOG on this Saturday, a day on which apparently everybody else had something better to do. Some of that may have had to do with the fact that there had been no hares until late in the week, when Ciega and Kramden were finally forced to step forward and take responsibility because no one else was. After patiently waiting the usual thirty minutes, the hares waited another 15 minutes just in case everyone else had mistakenly thought the meeting time had been changed to 4:00. But that was not the case, because everyone else apparently had found other things more entertaining to do and no one else showed up, so the assembled drove their vehicles down Beach Road to the Box at the end of the pathway by the Schwarz’s residence.

In the box, the hares ‘splained the special instructions (yellowed and rained-on flour, and wet TP) to the five (5), count ‘em – FIVE (5) hounds and were off. In the truck, of course. During the following 10 minutes the FIVE (5) hounds managed to get to know one another a little better, and then took off following pavement to the coral road leading up to Gualo Rai, then up to the traffic signal and across the street toward Hamilton’s. As expected, this trail followed the pavement uphill into upper Gualo Rai, past the JG Sablan road (fooling Dog Leg), and down to a checking on the road leading up to the San Ysidro chapel. The markings made a transition here from flour to wet toilet paper, and the three FRBs (Dog Leg, Eric, and Becky) did not notice this because of all the trash along the sides of the road, and a mild clusterfuck ensued before they figured it out and continued the grueling climb toward Ben Fitial’s house. A checking at the Chapel took the pack through an overgrown road to the right, which connected to a long and winding coral road leading down to Middle Road just north of McDonald’s. From here, the trail followed pavement back up to Quartermaster road, then down to the Beach Road pathway, and a long mile and a half back to the Box.

The fourth hound (Carol) was not too far behind the FRBs, but RRB Ladrone was way, way behind, having already called Ciega from the mini-mart near Hamilton’s to ask where the trail was. The four (4!) hounds and two hares waited patiently for what seemed like hours, during which Ciega left on one unsuccessful mission to find Ladrone, returned and ate snacks, then embarked again and found him near the on-home just after the sun had gone down. Meanwhile, Dog Leg had started a decent little fire beneath a big ironwood tree. With Ladrone in, Kramden and Dog Leg got religion started without any further delay, as the sunset blazed in the background. Just as the hares were finishing up their down-downs, two (2!) more hashers showed up for the on-home – Jordass and Laprobe – but apparently only to announce the March Birthday Party set for the following evening. However, they might as well have held the party the night of the hash, because it apparently wouldn’t have affected hash attendance. A couple more people were forced to come up for a down-down, but by that point there was no one else left to talk so the vessel was retired, and the area policed. After a little more snacking and talking, a couple of people sang Swing Low, the fire was doused, and everyone split up and went their separate ways.

MISMANAGEMENT

TYRANT/GM Haj, F. Kramden, Sir!!
RA: Hajji Pee Wee
AAAARA: Dog Leg
FIRE MASTER Pinoccular
HASH CASH Ciega
TRAIL MASTER Hajji Pee Wee
DLMM TECHNICIAN Dog Leg
HASH SCRIBE Ralph Nader

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan U.S. $6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE, AND SOMEONE IS BOUND TO SHOW YOU THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

RECEDING HARE LINE...
853 3/24 Chicken Little Dick & Floorshow
854 3/31 Claymore
855 4/7 FULL MOON #58! Splat & Messiah
--- 4/14 Forbidden Island Beach Clean-up, 8:00
856 4/14 OPEN
CONTACT CIEGA TO SIGN UP. IT IS A HASHER’S DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE A HARE, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS

EDITORIAL

Small Hash, small Trash. The Hash is a participatory activity, and not just religion. If no one steps up to set trail, and if everyone decides to just not come to the hash when there are no hares, then pretty soon there will be no hash. How can there be? Snacks and Ice are consumables that cost money every week. Packs as small as last week do not begin to even cover that cost. If you enjoy the hash, please make an effort to participate a little more, even if it’s just occasionally. And please set trail at least once a year. Because if we continue to have turnouts like last week and no hares, then even the hardcore hashers will stop coming, and one day there won’t be a hash on those Saturdays when you CAN’T find anything better to do.

HARES: PINOCCULAR, ELVIS, PIT BULL, AND EZ aka BOB SAGGET

BOX: RADAR PARKING, AS MATUIS

ON HOME: KALABERA CAVE

CASUALTIES: TUNA HELPER AKA GEORGE

OF THE JUNGLE, BERRY

BIGíS WELCOME, THE END

OF THE COLD WAR.

RUN RATING: ***.5

DLMM RATING: 10

75 hounds showed up to what would turn out to be not only a run memorable for the trail, but also memorable for the aftermath. Founding fathers (and mothers) Piperider, Gualafan, and Atlantic City came from Guam. Founding members Beerhead, Mike Fink, and the Tyrant were present. Many were still hung over from the pre-hash soiree held the night before which began at Oleai Beach Club. But there were grumblings from two of the hounds who were blackmailing the hares. And because of their deceit, the cold war would heat up later on. But the box was announced and the assembled headed there.

Once everyone was at the box, and everyone was IN the box, the hares came and Pinnocular read a poem explaining how co-hare EZ should be treated (as an observer videotaping the event). After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off to a checking. Most of the pack headed north, but the Tyrant headed straight down hill towards Jeffries Beach. However there was no trail. So he and Bob Gardiner turned around and headed up the road after the rest of the pack. The trail continued past the entrance to Kingfisher, past the Blue Camacho house, and then on to the road that heads up towards Wireless Road. As the pack ran along this trail, Thumeblina decided this was not for him and ran straight to the on home. Everyone else continued on the road to another checking which took the pack into the ravine, which eventually spills out, into Hidden Beach.

The instructional sign explained how to cross the river on a rope swing, but neither Tuna Helper nor Whining Weenie (OH MY GOD!!) read them. It was here that Tuna Helper thought he could fly and WW(OMG) decided to pull the string on the rope. Two things happened here. Tuna Helper became George of the Jungle (watch out for that tree ROCK) and EZ became Bob Sagget for videotaping our very own Americaís funniest home video. This all happened before the Tyrant got to this part of the trail and did not know that anything was wrong until he found Beaver Trail on trail giving instructions to a 911 operator.

Once the Tyrant arrived on the scene (where Dave the EMT was in full control), he chased all the rubbernecking hounds back on to trail and helped get Tuna Helper out to the waiting DPS pick up. Once past this area, the hounds started up the other side of the ravine and followed the trail up to some high places. Eventually we got down into the ravine again and followed the trail down. We came to the first bottle neck where there was a crowd of people waiting to tip toe along a shelf (with the aid of a rope banister) and then down about 15 feet into a pig shit puddle. The trail continued again, down in the ravine, and all of a sudden we were staring at a 40 foot vertical drop down to more pig shit puddles. Fortunately the hares had left a rope and we were required to rappel down this cliff and on to the flat part of the ravine. The trail eventually popped out of the ravine and went back up the north face of the valley and eventually popped out on the shelf overlooking Hidden Beach. The hares had put two re-bar ladders on the limestone rocks, which led down to Hidden Beach. Once down here, we had to cross some tidal pools. Then up some rocks. We then followed trail across the beach and to a rock anus on the other side. We continued up this anus and out on to the flat limestone, which led to the on home.

Eventually everyone made it in without incident. A fire was started, (the food was secretly delivered under the noses of all the hounds), and the Tyrant called for Religion. The hares came forward first and gave each other great honor. EZ became Bob Sagget for her Saipanís Funniest Hash Video. Next the visiting hashers from Guam came forward and actually said that they enjoyed the run. Next the FNGís were called forward, and there were 5, whose names escape me except for Gus who teaches at William Outrageous Elementary School. Next Atlantic City came forward and handed out 6 Special commemorative shirts to the surviving members of Run # 1 for the Saipan Hash House Harriers. Next, in his wisdom, the Tyrant announced dinner, and everyone headed up to the Tee House for hole # 6. After dinner (and it was quite tasty), the group re-assembled around the fire. Religion was re-convened and Tuna Helper came up to thank all those who helped him during his time of need. Kramden re-named him George of the Jungle. Hounds Dog Leg and Floorshow got up and demanded shorts for NOT catching the hares when they knew where the On Home was.

Pinnocular declared that the Cold War had just heated up and we will not see the end of this. Then Beddy Big did a face plant in the empty cans on the ground, and began to hump them. Then Elvis got up to do a routine with Pit Bull (as Russian translator) which I am sure they had practiced for a long time, and this was again disrupted by Beddy Big at his obnoxious best. Having had this huge damper put on the evening, Swing Low was sung, the area was policed, and everyone headed to wherever they go to sleep because it was pretty late. The Tyrant too, went home.

HASHING AROUND THE WORLD
THE YEAR 2000
AMERICAS INTERHASH, AUSTIN TEXAS, SEPTEMBER 2001

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINNOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: VINCE MCMAHON

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during "winter") at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan.
U.S.$7.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
852 3/17 OPEN
853 3/24 CHICKENLILDICK & FLOORSHOW
854 3/31 HAJ CLAYMORE
855 4/7 OPEN
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL

The listbot covered the other major topic of this past hash, so I will not go into it here. But I would like to mention something to all of you people who take the hash for granted. I have been hashing for nigh on 17 years. What have YOU been doing continuously for 17 years besides breathing? I though it was a wonderful hash and I thought the shirts that the Tyrant Emeritus Atlantic City gave to the original founding members was awesome. And I am so glad to see allslimers coming back on the hash. But I digress. Once again the receding hareline is pretty thin. And yet there are people who have run the hash who have never been a hare. Come on. Give us that Cherry. You gotta give it up sometime.

WANT TO ADOPT A BEACH. CONTACT DOG LEG.
REMINDER: EFFECTIVE 12/9/00, HASH WILL COST $7.00
WE MEET AT 3:30 P.M. (until MARCH 2001)

WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HALF-MIND.COM OR WWW.GTHHH.COM
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR WELCOME. PLEASE SEND TO WOLF@SAIPAN.COM TO GET ON THE SH3 MESSAGE LIST, VISIT
WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM