Hash Trashes 810

SAIPAN HASH TRASH
Issues 810 - 819

RUN # 819

RUN # 818

RUN # 817

RUN # 816 THE “NON ROLLING STONE GATHERS PLENTY OF MOSS” RUN
HARES: CHICKEN LIL DICK & KOWPADDY
BOX: CAPTIOL HILL RURAL BRANCH
ON HOME: TANAPAG STINK BEACH
CASUALTIES: KRAMDEN
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 5

35 hounds showed up at the BOG for ANOTHER Chicken Lil Dick run. Included in this number were the long missing Swamp Thing, Mark Bryant, Enema, Beaver Trail, Inflatable Slut, and (much later after everyone was gone) late arriving Hajji Peewee and Lunch Lady, The box was announced and a huge groan went up from the crowd since this box could mean a run going anywhere. There were no FNG’s so the box was relatively quiet until a box holder came in to get his mail and was accosted by the 35 hounds in the box. After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off and running in the direction of the only hare on foot, Kowpaddy, who had headed north. The pack split up at the triple intersection and then met up again at the dirt road that leads to the Chicken Farm. This looped all the around to a pre-marked (by the hares a la Claymore) checking which headed north on Wireless Road. Fortunately there was an On Back about 300 yards up the road which brought the pack back to the checking and then another pre marked checking at an apartment house. The pack went south on Wireless toward Cross Island road until they hit another On Back. So the pack headed back to the last Checking and into Sabanan As Akina. The trail meandered through some light scrub and then headed down into a ravine known as Kanat Tadung Mahetog (which loosely translated means “Slicker Than Cat Shit”. This particular ravine had rocks that were still covered with slimy green moss, when trampled on by hundreds of feet, becomes dangerous to step on. Not only were the rocks slippery, but also the trail was really a riverbed with 10 or twelve dry waterfalls, and although dry, the mossy rocks were slippery enough to make climbing down these drops as dangerous as cliff climbing of the week before. Somewhere in this beautiful maze, Mark lost his GPS (but later found it) and showed the Tyrant how it works. (IT IS SOOOOO COOOL!!!) The trail continued down for a good ¼ mile, past an old tin retaining wall and some barbed wire, over some old artillery shell casings, and finally popped out at the Santos Compound across the street from Saipan Ice and Water. A checking took the pack into the bowels of the L & T Corporation’s main garment factory buildings and then down to Lower Base Road. Another checking at Willie Tans world headquarters took the pack to the right, over a nasty, smelly, stinky, oozy creek bed that was bubbling something, and then a few more feet to a diagonal road and the On Home. (Since the creek mentioned above empties into the Tanapag Lagoon at this point, NOBODY was in the water). Out of the blue, Hajji Pewee and Lunch Lady (having just come from the Airport after arriving 30 minutes late) came in to the On Home. A vehicle run was done, and then another, and eventually, the Tyrant piped up Religion. The hares were called forward and talked briefly about the trail. Then there were many courtesies, jokes, comments, birthday greetings to Beerhead, (who is solely responsible for the DLMM rating this week) and the Laprobe came up and told a joke about brown squirrels and gray squirrels (read that Mommy and Grandma’s pubic hair). Later on, Karen Esq., who had successfully left the hash early on numerous occasions in order to avoid getting a hash name, was called forward. For the first time the Tyrant gave the assembled the choice of Smurf, Pippy Longstocking, or Red Squirrel. Red Squirrel was the unanimous decision of the assembled. And in his wisdom, the Tyrant explained how difficult it would be to explain this name whenever Red Squirrel went to another hash, so she would just have to show them. The crowd was pretty hot on this night and Chicken Lil Dick even came up with a joke that the Tyrant had never heard. Some more courtesies were done, but as all good things must come to an end, the Tyrant called for policing the area. Swing Low was sung, and then everyone went to Coffee Care, except the Tyrant, who of course went home.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: SMALL PETE HERMAN
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
819 7/29/00     CANDYASS
820 8/5/00        BEAVER TRAIL
821 8/12/00      INFLATABLE SLUT
822 8/19/00      MINNIE PEARL
823 8/26/00     LAPROBE
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE.
BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
Everyone had something to say about the hash this past week. Although it is a trail that has been done before, it is still a lush, tropical, fern covered gift from God whenever we go through there. And the hint of danger only makes it more enjoyable because it makes you realize that you are alive and that you can actually appreciate this type of fun. It was also Chicken Lil Dicks third trail in a row. Give the man some credit. It takes not a little bit of work to come up with a trail like this. Not to mention the time spent hanging the toilet paper. If you have never been a hare, you are really missing out on one of hashings greatest pleasures. Don’t pass up this opportunity. Be a hare.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
ACCORDING TO MR. HAPPY POCKETS, LONG SLEEVED APRES HAS T-SHIRTS WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR $20 AT THE 50TH FULL MOON/817TH RUNNING OF THE SAIPAN HASH HOUSE HARRIERS. THEY ARE WELL WOTH THE $20.
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until SEPTEMBER 23)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

RUN # 815 THE “LET’S MAKE ‘EM BLEED” RUN
HARES: CHICKEN LIL DICK, MARQUESA & SKID MARK
BOX: FORBIDDEN ISLAND OVERLOOK
ON HOME: KAGMAN QUARRY
CASUALTIES: KRAMDEN, DOG LEG,
COMMODORE, GRAB ASS.
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 0

Although the threat was there, only two sailors from the U.S.S Cushing showed up for the run, including Samurai hasher Omanko on Rye and FNG Doug. A total of 28 hounds showed up at the Bank Of Guam. The box was announced and the assembled headed to the Kagman III homestead and the road to Forbidden Island. Once everyone was in the box, the hares explained that there were actually 2 trails, and “E” for expert and a “P” for pussy. Many of us were already on the “E” run so opted for the “P” run including the Tyrant. Once the hares were off, Blow Job showed us the set of keys that he pulled out of the ignition of Chicken Lil Dicks jeep. After the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the Lone FNG, the pack waited. At the end of the 10-minute head start, the pack was off. There was an arrow almost immediately out of the box into the jungle on the right. There was no “E” or “P” here so everyone went into this area. The trail meandered through the jungle and eventually came to a checking that did have the “E” and “P”. The pack split up here and the E group went down to the cliff, down through the loose rock country where Dog Leg and Commodore got hit by falling boulders. That trail went down to the shoreline, along the shelf, on to Forbidden Island Beach and then up towards the trail. The “P” trail went further into the jungle (somewhere in this area, the Tyrant lost his footing and fell and this is where he was almost decapitated by a man eating tree root) and looped around until it came back out on the road. A checking on the road took us to the trailhead to Forbidden Island. The “P” group headed down the trail, over and down the little ladder, and then down some more. However, the FRB’s in this group continued down while the Tyrant, sensing something on his right, noticed a white checking and a pink arrow. This was the juncture of the “E” trail and “P” trails. The Tyrant called the FRB’s back but the Navy men were too far ahead and ran into the “E” group who were coming up the trail. This group for some reason completely missed the pink arrow (since they were such studs we figured it was hormonal). The Tyrant’s band continued along the trail, which continued in the light boonies and then headed toward the cliff line. This trail continued over pine needle covered woods. The trail finally came to a ravine where there was a huge yellow rope and Beerhead went down only to find nothing. So back up the hill, with the urging of Ciega, the Tyrant decided to blaze trail up the hillside toward a road that he knew was not to far above. Into a ravine and this pack headed up. There were some areas where it was literally pushing through the thick brush. But finally the group popped out on to the road and then went right towards where the cars were parked. Eventually the pack found Marquesa changing the trail away from the box. On the road the pack ran back out to the intersection and another arrow towards the quarry and a short jaunt and the ON HOME. Once all the vehicle runs were done and everyone was in, the Tyrant piped up Religion. First the hares were called forward and they explained the long and complicated reasons for having two trails. Multiple Orgasm explained how she wanted to have nothing to do with the run but THEY made her do it. Next the visiting hasher was called forward and explained how he got the name (in English) Pussy on Rye. Then the FNG was called forward and did not embarrass himself. There were many courtesies done, some jokes, and more courtesies. Dog Leg took a WHOLE lot of shit for screaming like a girl and this caused some friction later on. Of course the pebble that hit him turned out to be a HUGE boulder. During this whole Religion the crowd, led by instigator Grab Ass would not have respect. As a grand finale, fireworks were launched and everyone was amazed and awed. Swing low was sung with sprinklers and everyone headed to an après hash.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
817/FM50   7/15/00 HAJ. F. KRAMDEN, SIR! & MR. HAPPY POCKETS
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
819 7/29/00     CANDYASS
820 8/5/00        MARIA
821 8/12/00      BEAVER TRAIL
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
Aside from all the skin that was broken, eviscerated, or scratched at the last run, there seemed to be some thin skin as well. As the Tyrant for life I have learned to take all kinds of physical and verbal abuse. As an aging, balding, diabetic, alcoholic fossil, I have learned to take even more. As Patrick Bryan used to say, “If they can’t take a joke, fuck ‘em”. Of course we could not even call him by his hash name (Polio) so what can I say. Fortunately, the two boys who were on the verge of fisticuffs made up and alls well that ends well, or so they say. If you have enough energy to fight, then you have enough energy to be a hare. As a matter of fact, you probably have too much energy. Remember to fulfill you obligation as an assigned hare. If you are not signed up, see Ceiga.

RUN # 814 THE “TALOFOFO 4” RUN
HARES: CHICKEN LIL DICK
BOX: WIRELESS ROAD CEMETARY
ON HOME: JEFFRIES (TALOFOFO) BEACH
CASUALTIES: ANYONE WITH SKIN
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 0

25 hounds, including visiting (from Saudi Arabia), Kory, and returning hounds Tonguesickle , Dr. Dan and Valerie from Rota. Long Missing Double Entry showed up and Marquesa came late but not together. Ciega, dressed to the nines was there to collect money but had a wedding to go to. The box was announced as the Wireless Road Cemetery and since the Tyrant’s sainted mother-in-law is buried there, it was decided that her grave would be the box. As we waited, box breakers Beerhead and Kowpaddy, seeing the hare go north on the road, waited until he came back, and then tried to grab his shorts as he drove by at 35 mph. After the 10-minute head start the pack was off and immediately (except for Kowpaddy) headed north to a checking across the road from the Magellan hotel. An arrow in the front yard of an abandoned house on Ogso Talofofo (1) took the pack into the boonies overlooking the Kingfisher Country Club and then out on to the foothills abutting Wireless Road. The trail headed down almost immediately into the Talofofo Creek bed and what would be the beginning of a long trek down the gully, through horrific sword grass, tunnels made of sword grass, and black, brackish, yucky caca water with shrimp in it. Down the ravine we continued for quite a ways, more sword grass tunnels, and then all of a sudden we popped out on to Sabanan Talofofo (2), rolling hills that went along for a while, to an arrow on the top of a very small mesa, and then back towards the east, and voices in the ravine below. Once again we went back down into the ravine, which is called Sadog Talofofo (3). This trail continued down and had a lot more water in it than the upper part of the creek. In fact it was very slippery and yucky, and even so still had lots of shrimp in it. Eventually the trail came out on the Talofofo River Gauging station and then to the little falls, which was really dried out. From here the trail went through some light jungle, back into the ravine, and the under the bridge and out to Unai Talofofo (4). The tide was extremely low but many people got in the pond just to get the nastiness off of them. And all was well until the gashes from the sword grass started to sting. The first vehicle run had already gone and returned when the next vehicle run was called. As we waited for the lagging Ladrone and Susan, a family came down the trail to camp in the cave across the mouth of the river. They were almost invisible for a while. Eventually every one came in, the Saudi hasher disappeared on the vehicle run. The Tyrant piped up Religion and Chicken Lil Dick was the RA. First the hare (who was already up there) did his down down. He was followed by many courtesies from an exhausted crowd. Then Mr. Happy Pockets got up to finish the joke he had started last week and started shouting, “who you been F**cking, etc” and the invisible family across the way got even more invisible. Some people got up to tell some jokes, some people got up to indict other people, and the Tyrant kept telling everyone to stop picking on the barbs, they would come out by themselves some time later on. Lap Robe (who drove) got up to thank the hare for not let her running the trail (and we were all happy she did not). Prior to the area being policed, Mr. Happy Pockets got a group together to fill balloons with helium so we could all do the Helium Version of Swing Low. The area was then policed, Swing Low was sung (with the Helium Version being the 2nd verse) and then everyone headed out to the road. Most people went somewhere to eat. The Tyrant went to a part to which he was ten minutes late so ended up going straight home any way.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: QUEEN BEERSHEBA
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
816   7/8/00      KOWPADDY&CHICKEN LIL DICK
817/FM50   7/15/00 HAJ. F. KRAMDEN, SIR! & MR. HAPPY POCKETS
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
819 7/29/00     CANDYASS
820 8/5/00        MARIA
821 8/12/00      BEAVER TRAIL
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
We now have a new hasher on Saipan. West End Bender and Shay are the proud parents of a baby girl. For those of you have never been a parent you have much to look forward to. This is about as close to God as you can get without actually going to heaven as far as I am concerned. To be a part of creating a new life, and then being responsible for caring for that life, is just AWESOME. But being a parent takes a great deal of commitment. That means self-sacrifice, and putting the time in for others. If you would like to practice some of this without all the late night feedings, try being a hare. If you are signed up, make sure you fulfill your obligation. If you are not signed up, SIGN UP!.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until SEPTEMBER 23)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

RUN # 813 THE “HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN” RUN
HARES: PINOCCULAR & RAT
BOX: NANSAY NURSERY
ON HOME: AGAG
CASUALTIES: HUNGOVER GUAM RUGBY
PLAYERS
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 7

40 hounds showed up, including almost the entire Guam Rugby Team (Slimius Maximus, Gualofan, Rude Boy, Rip Van Wanker, Spazz, Coccyx Crunch, and Twat Trestle). We also so the long missing Thumbelina and one FNG named Kate. The box was announced and intricate instructions given on how to get there. The pack was off and eventually found itself in a ginger grove in what is a nursery for one of the hotels that was never built. The hares gave us the special instructions and talked about signs and pink ribbon again. After the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s, the pack chatted until the 10-minute head start was over. Then the pack was off and headed out the way they came in. But instead of going back on to the road the trail went back into the bowels of the nursery. Up little mounds of earth and on little jeep trails. The trail continued past some staff houses, which looked to be the executive types of houses. The Guamaniacs kept talking about toxins and sweating them out so you can add some more. The trail continued on to some private land and past some houses, on to what looked like a jeep trail that had just been mowed by a giant weed whacker, and then popped out on to a dirt road in Agag. Then the trail checked left and almost straight up. The trail continued up past more houses and the cry of “The people from Channel 3”. The trail kept going up and then past a little tin shack and into the jungle. The trail then meandered all around the base of the cliff. There were some gas mask canisters lying on the ground and plenty of really long on backs in the jungle. (Which was really unusual for Pinnocular). Hajji Peewee got burned at least twice on the long on backs. The trail went up and down and up and down for about 20 minutes and then popped out on to a clearing overlooking the back road, and the On Home. Most of the pack was in within an hour and a vehicle run was done. A nice fire was started and then moved (when the smoke started chokin’ the chickens) to higher ground. Eventually everyone got back and the Tyrant piped up Religion. The hares were called forward and did great honor to each other. Next the visiting hashers were called forward and the Tyrant gave Slimy and Gualofan great honor for being on run #1. Next, the lone hare was called forward and took off her sweater (since Zorro told her that was customary). Then Susan came up and did a down down and showed her tits just because she could. Many courtesies and tales followed this from the trail. There were intermittent showers and the crowd was pretty mellow. Spazz had gifts (t-shirt and knife for the Tyrant), little socks and hats for fossil Ciega and hat for Laprobe. Mr. Happy Pockets got up to tell a joke and no one listened. The Tyrant called for the area to be policed, Swing Low was sung, and then everyone was off in different directions to go somewhere to eat. The Tyrant of course went home.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
815   7/1/00      OPEN
816   7/8/00      KOWPADDY
817/FM50   7/15/00 HAJ. F. KRAMDEN, SIR! & MR.
            HAPPY POCKETS
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
819 7/29/00     CANDYASS
820 8/5/00        MARIA
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
It is not often, in this day and age, and most especially on Saipan, that you see someone who was here 15 years ago, and is still here. Slimius Maximus and Gualofan were both here on runs #’s 1, 2, and 3, of the Saipan Hash House Harriers. And they were here on run # 813. This is the kind of commitment that hashing is all about. This is the kind of commitment we see in the Mis-Management of the Saipan Hash, and this is the kind of commitment we see in hares like Pinoccular. What an amazing trail. And this is his second in 2 weeks. Anyone who has not been a hare this year should be totally ashamed of himself or herself. You have NOT really done the hash until you have been a hare. Being a hound is one thing, but being a hare is transcendental. Be a hare. Transcend.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until SEPTEMBER 23)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

RUN # 812 THE “CULTURAL HISTORY REVIEW AND URBAN DICKHEAD PUB CRAWL” RUN
HARES: DOG LEG, MR. HAPPY POCKETS & VIRGIN MIKE (SHOW US THE SHEETS!!)
BOX: NORTHERN HAPPY ASSHOLE COLLEGE GYM
ON HOME: CHALAN KANOA BEACH
CLUB BEACH
CASUALTIES:
RUN RATING: **.25
DLMM RATING: 10

31 hounds showed up for what had been rumored as a pub-crawl. FNG’s were Tracy the Vet, Niki the banker, and Bill the vacationing attorney. The Tyrant was not at the BOG but did show up at the box. The hares gave the special instructions (orange tape, DO NOT FLY, arrow 100%, a nipple mark which meant watch out for nails, don’t worry about the dogs unless the brown Doberman is loose), and when they were finished the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s. After the 10-minute head start the pack was off in many directions since the road kind of wraps around the Gym. The true trail went west on the Fina Sisu road and then looped around south. Eventually, a checking took the pack right (west again) into a housing area where little kids yelled “On On”. Soon the trail went into someone’s back yard and then along a fence line and then down some really hairy limestone rock. Under some barbed wire and then down to an old jeep trail where another checking took the pack to the left and out to the Chalan Tun Joaquin Doi. A checking here took the pack left and down to the entrance to the old Saipan Cultural Center which is on Haguas Lane. A checking here took the pack left and down the road. Soon the pack came upon an arrow, which took the pack right into old Bumper Car Pavilion at the SCC. Some of the bumper cars were in amazingly good condition. Through the pavilion and then out through the jungle (which always takes development back) on to the Go Kart track. On this oval there were still old tires (used as bumpers to keep the cars off the walls) and around and then out into the jungle again. From here the trail went to an old building (where the nipple warned us to watch for nails). The trail snaked through the old restaurant and then across a small bridge to the Monkey House. The trail continued through the Monkey House and then out into the jungle again. The trail then popped out on to Niyok Dr., which eventually took us out on to the As Perdido road. The trail continued down this hot, sun-baked road until we reached a checking at Texas Rd. On Texas Road the trail continued through the bowels of Chalan Kanoa. The trail dragged on this road until it came to another checking at Chalan Hagoi. Then a checking at Tokcha Ave, another at Sulo St., and then an arrow at Talaya St. One more arrow at Langse St. took us to two of the hares in the parking lot of Len’s. Our instructions were to go upstairs and have two paid drinks and then wait. Which we did. And waited, and waited, and waited, until the hares finally told us to go to Pacific Gardenia. They were going to leave a trail for us, but co-hare Mr. Happy Pockets drove off with the beer truck and the flour looking for lagging Laprobe. So we all ran together. Another drink here and then we were told to go to Chalan Kanoa Beach Club. Most jumped into the pool as we waited for vehicle runs to be done and Religion to begin. An unsuspecting co-worker of Marquesa was introduced to Blow Job and then dumped into the pool. That’ll teach you to talk to a married woman in front of her jealous husband. Eventually everyone came back and we retired to the beach to the fire and the Tyrant piped up Religion. The hares were called forward and explained WHY they did what they did (and repeated, many times, how the drinks came directly out of their pockets). Next the FNG’s came forward and the Vet Tracy did not drink so dropped her top and showed us tit. A frightened Niki just drank it and got away. Bill drank his down down without too much fuss and then courtesies were called. After many courtesies about the cool cultural run, it was time to call One Penis Full forward to do her shoe down down since she will be going to leave and live with her husband, FINALLY!!. There was much gnashing of teeth and rending of cloth and many got up to pay her honor. Eventually the area was policed, Swing Low was sung, and everyone headed home since it was so late.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: HARRY DICK TOM
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
814   6/24/00    OPEN
815   7/1/00      OPEN
816   7/8/00      KOWPADDY
817/FM50   7/15/00 HAJ. F. KRAMDEN, SIR! & MR.
                   HAPPY POCKETS
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
819 7/29/00     CANDYASS
820 8/5/00        MARIA
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
Once again we bid farewell to another hard core hasher. One Penis Full (Mrs. Sheep Thrills) will be missed. Although her initial introduction to the hash was as a rival (when she was with White Rice) it turned out to be just the Therapy she needed to get her life back together and find her soul mate. Many people think that the hash is just a fun way to meet people, and a cheap way to get drunk. It is so much more than that. It can be that bright spot in your week when everything else around you is shit. It can be the only chance you get to talk to someone who has similar interests as you. It can be the only time you have a captive audience who will listen because they can’t get away (like the girls Ladrone talks up). But you have not really experienced the hash until you have been a hare. Be a hare.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until SEPTEMBER 23)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

RUN # 811 THE “STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE” RUN
HARES: PINOCCULAR AND PIT BULL
BOX: CIEGA’S GARAGE
ON HOME: CHARLIE FREIERS HOUSE
CASUALTIES: KRAMDEN, LEAVE IT’S
BEAVER, JORDASS
RUN RATING: ****.5
DLMM RATING: 5.5

42 lucky hounds showed up at the Bank of Guam to find out what being a hare is all about. (See ED.) The box was announced as Chez Ciega and it was suggested that people car pool. The assembled headed up the Upper Navy Hill Road or the Toputchau Road and parked in front of Coral Island Condo’s. Perennial latecomers Arachnophiliac and West End Bender were late, as were Blow Job and Marquesa de Sade. Special instructions were given and we were all warned not to try and fly and to make sure we read ALL the signs. With that the hares were off and the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the lone FNG a lawyer whose name escapes me. After the 10-minute head start, the pack was off and out to the main road. A checking took the pack left and up the hill about 150 feet and then an arrow into the jungle started. The trail led through limestone forests and meandered along the eastern face of Mt. Topuchau. For you Allslimers, this was a run, which Indiana Jones (and later Ciega and Barney Rubble) took us on. It continued down in a southeasterly direction and then turned due west. We came out on a road, which was just above Rancho Ojisan and just north of Leave It’s house. A checking here took us out to the main road and another checking. The true trail went straight up the Topuchao road to an arrow at the old Japanese circular road that runs around the mid section of Mt. Topuchau and used to come out at Papago. The trail followed this coral road to a fence where another arrow took us east again up the face of a cliff. As we were on the road, we heard people above us and realized that we were turning back on ourselves. As we were on the cliff trail, we were a mere (although only Marquesa De Sade figured it out), 15 feet below the On Home. We also ran across a cavelet that had the remains of a soldier including his bayonet all neatly stacked up and camera ready. We all took the obligatory souvenir photo thanks to Kow Paddy. We crawled along this cliff and eventually popped out on to the Toputchau Road once again. A sign directed the pack across the road to a trail between 2 Pepsi cans to the water (champagne) stop and the last 1/3rd of the trail. The trail here meandered through more lush tropical jungle over even more slippery rocks and limestone. It was in this part of the trail that Jordass got spread eagled next to a rock and was unable to get herself un-spread until a helping hand from Beerhead helped her. It was here, near the end of the trail, that Kramden and several others grabbed a hold of a really bad tree, which had some slippery roots. The Tyrant ended up sprawled, legs akimbo, waiting for help from behind. It arrived (in the form of Ciega and some others) and then Leave It’s Beaver slipped as well. From here it was a short cliff and rope climb back up to the Toputchau Road near the old hang gliding low boy. North again towards the Lam housing and then down to the On Home at Charlie Friers old house. There was lots of standing around talking about the trail, and people had left their bags and other things lying around. The people who are living in the house have a little doggie who took great pleasure in pissing on everything that was not moving, including the Commodore’s Comspron 3 hat. Most people were in before sunset and no vehicle runs were necessary since we were less than ½ mile from the box. Pinnocular had to go out and look for One Penis Full and Lady Luck Lewinsky but the hobbled in just before dark. The fire was lit and Religion was piped to order and then the hares were called forward. Pinnocular talked a little about the run, Pit Bull showed tits and explained how she had been seen on the trail, with her pants around her ankles by Apple Gardiner earlier in the week. The FNG was called forward and did not shame herself. Then it was time for courtesies (and there were many) and tales from the trail, (there were some of these as well). We also had a trip report from someone who had run in Rota the week before. There was lots of chatter back and forth and then Minnie Pearl got up and talked about how he and Messaiah almost got arrested by the Security Guard at Coral Islands for trespassing. It seems that Apendejo told them that his Old Buddy Larry (Hillbloom that is) assured him that he could shower there in perpetuity and so could all of his friends. Of course Larry is dead and now Ciega is in charge of the showers. And you KNOW how she can be. Well the two were quite penitent and crawled and kissed her ass until she stopped brow beating them. Then Apendejo got up and talked about he would never RAT on his buddies. So he finally got the name RAT (which he actually got in Cairns a few years ago). Next it was time for shoe down downs for Boob Branch and Lone Ranger. Boob Branch was on the verge of tears when the Tyrant gave her the admonition to “Carry on the Tradition”, but held back the tears amidst kind words and hugs. Quite a few people got up for her as well as Lone Ranger. There was lots of yakkety yakking from the penis gallery (Grab Ass and Minnie Pearl) and Blow Job was blowing out of his ass the whole time chasing people around from his farts. Bob Gardiner got up to do his shoe down down courtesy for Lone Ranger and told the story about how his wife, Apple, came upon Pit Bull and Lone Ranger, (Pit Bull with her pants around her ankles, changing her clothes so she could go to a meeting), and of course got the wrong idea, went home and told Bob how she caught the two doing Yonkey Donkey on the trail and so henceforth, now, and forever more SHE will be known as Yonkey Donkey. This was about the last of Religion, so the Tyrant called for the area to be policed. Swing Low was sung and everyone went to Mom’s Round Two. The Tyrant of course, went home (by way of the Flame Tree where his wife, who had waited, and waited, and waited for him to help), left and waited for him to get home. Lucky thing we do not have a rolling pin.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: DICK SMOTHERED
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
813   6/17/00    MR. HAPPY POCKETS & DOGLEG
814   6/24/00    INFLATABLE SLUT
815   7/1/00      JORDASS
816   7/8/00      KOWPADDY
817/FM50   7/15/00 HAJ. F. KRAMDEN, SIR! & MR.
                   HAPPY POCKETS
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
833   11/4/00   CLAYMORE AND THE BANKERS
                         CIRCLE JERK
840 12/23/00 CLAYMORE THE XMAS HASH
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
In the words of Frankie Valli, “Oh what a night..”
The only thing keeping this run from being a perfect run was it did not end on a beach. Otherwise, who could have asked for more? A GREAT run, a GREAT lingering sunset, a toasty fire, a crowd that was ON FIRE, and GREAT Religion. And Why? Because the hare Pinoccular CARES about you folks. He wants you to enjoy the run. That is why he went to all that trouble, not only to lay the trail, but to carve the trail, and group all the artifacts together, etc., etc., etc. Even if you only worked half as hard, you could set a great run too. Be a hare.

HASH BULLETIN BOARD
7th ANNUAL, P.THOMAS, PICARRO MEMORIAL RUN, THE SILVER STREAK, JUNE 17,2000. CONTACT THE TYRANT
WE MEET AT 4:00 P.M. (until SEPTEMBER 23)
WANT TO SURF THE HASH NET. TRY WWW.HUFFYPUFFY.COM

RUN # 810 THE “HI O SILVER, A PAVEMENT POUNDER” RUN
HARES: LONE RANGER & TOMTO (THOM GIPSON)
BOX: AGINGAN POINT
ON HOME: LADDER BEACH
CASUALTIES: FNG JULIE
RUN RATING: ***
DLMM RATING: 7.5

44 hounds including the long missing Punji Boy, Bob and Apple Gardiner, Inflatable Slut and Outback, Enema, Beaver Trail, Maria, Elaine Paplos, the flashing Bush Fire and FNG’s Katy (who drove the beer truck), Kathy, Emily (Shlongs Daughter) and Julianne. The boxed was announced as the Sewage Treatment plant at Agingan Point in San Antonio. The hares warned everyone that the gates would be locked at 4:30 so we should all park by the radio station. After the parking was done, the box was marked on an old ferro-concrete slab, which hung over the edge of the cliff and over the grave of the Concepcion. The hares took off and the Tyrant ‘splained the instructions to the FNG’s. They listened blissfully and then everyone waited for the 10-minute head start to be used up. Once that was over, the pack took off. Some up the road that we came in on, others on the true trail which went around the plant and on to the Afetna coast line north towards the P.I.C. Over much wartime flotsam and old truck parts, the trail hugged the cliff and then came out on the beach. A checking south of the beach (where the SCB’s went) took the pack on a long, long, long and hot run on the main Kobler Field road. We past Korean gas stations, Korean Laundry mats, Korean Konvenience stores, Korean auto shops, Korean bars. Just think, in 10 years Kagman will be just like this. How wonderful. At the first intersection into Klobberville I the Tyrant ran up to the As Lito road and flew to the intersection of Koblerville road, only to find absolutely nothing. So back down towards Kobler Field and true trail. The true trail went past the old burnt out MMC bus and the construction sight, in the hot sun, towards As Gona. The true trail spun off here somewhere and went to the As Perdido road where it eventually hit the Airport/MVA road and looped around towards C.O.P. However, the sheep, including all slimers Ciega, Cecil B. DeMilks, and the Tyrant, looped around the hard stands and walked back into the sun, towards the box. About mid way there Ciega insisted that we go towards C.O.P. so we always do what she says. Kramden took a right towards the box and everyone else went the other way. After about 30 seconds someone shouted “ON BACK” so we knew that was the right way to go. So the pack headed towards the landing approach lights. Another checking took us along the east fence of the golf course and then down to the limestone shelf at the end of the fence line. The trail then continued along the shelf until it reached Ladder Beach (Unai Peo), which was the On Home, was. Eventually 2 vehicle runs were done and then the hares were called forward. Lone Ranger did his down down in the absence of his co-hare who was DOING the vehicle run). Next the FNG’s were called forward. They did not embarrass themselves or those that made them come. Next many courtesies (and discourtesies) were done to the run, which had a little bit of everything. Co-hare Thom came back and said, “If it took too long, you’re too slow.” Then some jokes were told, some more courtesies, some satellites (the stellar and the pectoral kind) were seen, and eventually swing low was sung and the area was policed. Everyone went to the last days of the Taste of the Marianas except the Tyrant who of course went home.

REMEMBER, IF YOU GO BACK TO THE REAL WORLD AND THERE IS NO HASH, START ONE. IT IS A GREAT WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOME ONE IS BOUND TO SHOW THEIR TITS ONE OF THESE DAYS.

MISMANAGEMENT
TYRANT/GM: HAJ, F.KRAMDEN, SIR!!
RA: HAJJI PEE WEE
AAAARA: DOG LEG
FIRE MASTER: PINOCULAR
D.L.MMMM TECHNICIAN: DOGLEG
HASH CASH: CIEGA
TRAIL MASTER: HAJJI PEEWEE
HASH SCRIBE: Ernst HUMMINGWAY
The Saipan Hash House Harriers convenes every Saturday at 4:00 p.m. (3:30 during “winter”) at the Bank of Guam parking lot in Garapan. U.S.$6.00 (NON NEGOTIABLE)

RECEDING HARE LINE
812   6/10/00    LUNCH LADY
813   6/17/00    MR. HAPPY POCKETS & DOGLEG
814   6/24/00    INFLATABLE SLUT
815   7/1/00      JORDASS
816   7/8/00      KOWPADDY
817/FM50   7/15/00 HAJ. F. KRAMDEN, SIR! & MR.
                   HAPPY POCKETS
818 7/22/00     CLAYMORE
833   11/4/00   CLAYMORE AND THE BANKERS
                         CIRCLE JERK
840 12/23/00 CLAYMORE THE XMAS HASH
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO BE A HARE, CONTACT CIEGA. IT IS A HASHERS DUTY TO BE A HARE. BE SOMEBODY, SET TRAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS.

EDITORIAL
I have to say that is great to be back on the hash. Even though the run kind of sucked, the night was clear, the stars were out, we saw satellites, we saw tits, we had FNG’s, Karen Esquire ran away again. It was a perfect hash night. Stars dotted the sky and there was no light pollution to speak of. The fire was toasty and warm. The snacks were delicious. And as bad as the run was, at least I was doing what I do best on a Saturday afternoon and evening in Saipan.

<<BACK INDEX FORWARD>>